Writer's Block: Phobias
I've kinda just recently realized that I'm a little agoraphobic (basically a fear of unfamiliar places or a fear of leaving your safe zone, like my apartment) . I screwed up my first year and a half of college because I was so afraid of leaving my room that I didn't go to classes, and even now I still have trouble getting up and leaving by myself. Half of the time, if Mat doesn't leave the house, I'm terrified of going myself. Well, I should say most of the time. I have an anxiety attack whenever I think of leaving that apartment by myself. It used to be that I could leave if I was familiar with the place I was going to, but now it's hard to go anywhere by myself.
It pretty much affects every aspect of my life. I can't do anything on my own any more. The anxiety attacks actually keep me from moving. Some times I hyperventilate, or just talk myself out of going by saying things like, "I'll go tomorrow. I don't need to go today. Nothing important is happening today. I have stuff I have to get done here...." Sometimes my legs freeze up or I can't seem to get the strength to open the door because I'm so scared.
It pretty much sucks. And while I really wish I could get over it, I'm too scared to.
It pretty much affects every aspect of my life. I can't do anything on my own any more. The anxiety attacks actually keep me from moving. Some times I hyperventilate, or just talk myself out of going by saying things like, "I'll go tomorrow. I don't need to go today. Nothing important is happening today. I have stuff I have to get done here...." Sometimes my legs freeze up or I can't seem to get the strength to open the door because I'm so scared.
It pretty much sucks. And while I really wish I could get over it, I'm too scared to.