Revealing
So...this was a very revealing weekend...
Nave and his mom have really been helping me out. I've realized that there are a lot of issues I need to deal with.
My fear of being alone. My fear of leaving my house. My anxiety attacks and depression, my loneliness and pain.
Every morning I wake up shaking and on the verge of tears. I miss him like crazy. This seriously feels WRONG. Like the universe is out of wack.
I'm bouncing back and forth between feeling really optimistic and thinking, "Everything will be fine. Mat and I will be together again soon." And then I start crying and shaking and thinking, "Nothing will ever be the same again."
And...I know that nothing will ever be the same again. I can only hope and pray that everything gets better.
I love him still, with all my heart. I can only hope that my love isn't rejected.
Nave and his mom have really been helping me out. I've realized that there are a lot of issues I need to deal with.
My fear of being alone. My fear of leaving my house. My anxiety attacks and depression, my loneliness and pain.
Every morning I wake up shaking and on the verge of tears. I miss him like crazy. This seriously feels WRONG. Like the universe is out of wack.
I'm bouncing back and forth between feeling really optimistic and thinking, "Everything will be fine. Mat and I will be together again soon." And then I start crying and shaking and thinking, "Nothing will ever be the same again."
And...I know that nothing will ever be the same again. I can only hope and pray that everything gets better.
I love him still, with all my heart. I can only hope that my love isn't rejected.