passion fruit green tea smoothie
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You were on my mind at least nine tenths of yesterday
It seemed as if perhaps I'd gone insane
What is it about you that has commandeered my brain?
~ Kimya Dawson
*********************This weekend I saw Easy A with Jess. It was fun. I got a kick out of the adoption jokes. Oh and good news, I opted to not share my popcorn with the floor : )
Little aside, what the hell are my upstairs neighbors doing?!?! .... no not that.... but there are definitely... noises *confused face*. I understand since a majority of the things are now out of my bedroom the music I play is not buffered and therefore I could be construed as being the loud pain in the ass neighbor for the last 4 days of my residence here. But does it go the other way around? Did the stuff in my room help reverberate the noise the other people are causing? 4 days left here. sadness. I should be packing up the kitchen which, from all of the moving experience I have had, is the biggest fuck shit pain in the ass ever! arg. I am saving the kitchen for tomorrow. Agenda for this week:
9/21 - Complex paints front door black which to my surprise makes the apartment feel *sigh* not like an apartment but more of a, prison? So painting of the door black = locking cats in bedroom all day. And tomorrow I pack the kitchen.
9/22 - Pick up other cat carrier. Pack random odds and ends from bedroom, linen closet, and bathroom.
9/23 - Move cats.
9/24 - Uncles help me move the big stuff. Hopefully going to the casino with ladies from work. And if I make it there, I will be looking forward to a martini with Sharon.
I am a little more accepting that this move has to happen and that it is for the best. Still not 100% OK with it. But how many people are 100% OK with the beginning of the end? This is the long haul. The next move I make is still TBA. One friend told me she can see me traveling or at least getting the hell out of Dodge.
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All the people's mouths are moving, all you hear are car alarms
And you wake up and start to cry
I will lose my shit if even one more person I know dies
So please don't die
~ Kimya Dawson
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I digress. After the movies Jess and I went to Caribou on Woodward. I got a delicious passion fruit green tea smoothie and as I sat at a table outside waiting for Jess a wave of sadness hit me and I started to tear up. No idea why. Maybe because I had traveled that road many a time with my Dad to go to Beaumont to see my Mom. I don't know. I thought I was doing ok. Hadn't cried in about a week and a half. *shakes head*
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Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend?
To leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide
~ My Chemical Romance
*********************I hate tears. And I know a lot of them will come out on Sunday with the annual Bereavement service. It is mandatory so I have to be there if I still want a job the following Monday. I plan on sitting with Susanna who already told me she can hold my hand if need be. Also that if I feel the need to throw myself to the floor and wail she will do the same and prepare for the stares. What a gal.
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We wear our scarves just like a noose
But not 'cause we want eternal sleep
And though our parts are slightly used
New ones are slave labor you can keep
~ Regina Spektor
*********************One of the last conversations my Dad and I had regarding my Mom's cancer, was how those last few years were the best they had ever had as a couple. Cancer... Terminal Illness, the thing that can shatter some families, brought my parents together even more. And yes they would still get on each others nerves and sometimes really have to try to love each other, but at the end of everyday my Dad said that he would not have traded it for the world. He had accepted everything that was happening with my Mom. He said he had fallen into "a state of grace." I hope I get there.
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And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
~ Relient K
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