scared
I am back in Walla Walla and I am feeling so weird. Yes, this is going to be one of those boring posts about my life rather than an interesting rant or critique. I am writing here rather than on my blog because my parents read my blog and I don't want to make them sad.
I was soo excited to go home this time and breathe the L.A. air because it has been so long. I couldn't wait to see good old downtown Alhambra and Pasadena and the freeways and the store signs written in other languages.
Then I screwed up my GRE testing date and was reminded again of how bad I am at being organized and remembering the important things. So I slept that whole day when I got back to avoid the future plans lecture. I told my parents that I learned one thing from the GREs and that was that I never want to work in an office building where I have to wear high heels and sunglasses on a winter day and stand in an elevator making conversation with a guy in a suit. Those people scared me to death. My parents thought I was ridiculous and made me glad to be a science major.
This whole break scared me and made me question my future. I realized that I screwed up my GRE chance and now I can't even apply to grad school if I wanted to do that.
And I also decided that I kind of want to apply to grad school, because otherwise I will be stuck at home for a year.
This was the first break when I really wanted to be back in Walla Walla. I think since freshman year, I have heard people say how much they missed Whitman and the people here but I never understood that. I've always been perfectly content to be away from Whitman for a while. Now, with only a week back my parents drove me crazy and I was surrounded by television and adult concerns.
And I had to listen to first my mom's cousin's nephew talk about work and his daughter and then my cousins and uncles talk about buying property and about jobs and all this real world stuff. Last year they tried to tell me to be a pharmacist. This year they told me to open a tea house, but not my kind of tea house-- a trendy nightclub/tea house or, better yet, an exclusive orchid shop + tea house, or a tea house with imported asian water. I could just see that woman in her sunglasses and high heels walking into my store. Eeeee! And then I went out with Sharon and Karina and we talked about marriage and kids. Double eeee! and not of the lovely Saturday morning type.
All I wanted was a familiar Whitman college student face (preferably Eric or Elizabeth) to take me away from this awful reality that I hope to never become a part of (and which I would like to hope they will never be a part of).
But I am still left with the question of what I am going to do next year, because I really really don't want to be at home but I never thought about the problem of money and a job if I live somewhere else.
And yes, I know, lots of college seniors are probably just like me, but to kind of quote the Goonies, this is my time down here in my basement bug home.
Now I'm back and I should be happy. Time to dive into these last two weeks and prep mentally for being home for a full month. Cross your fingers for me to stay afloat.
I was soo excited to go home this time and breathe the L.A. air because it has been so long. I couldn't wait to see good old downtown Alhambra and Pasadena and the freeways and the store signs written in other languages.
Then I screwed up my GRE testing date and was reminded again of how bad I am at being organized and remembering the important things. So I slept that whole day when I got back to avoid the future plans lecture. I told my parents that I learned one thing from the GREs and that was that I never want to work in an office building where I have to wear high heels and sunglasses on a winter day and stand in an elevator making conversation with a guy in a suit. Those people scared me to death. My parents thought I was ridiculous and made me glad to be a science major.
This whole break scared me and made me question my future. I realized that I screwed up my GRE chance and now I can't even apply to grad school if I wanted to do that.
And I also decided that I kind of want to apply to grad school, because otherwise I will be stuck at home for a year.
This was the first break when I really wanted to be back in Walla Walla. I think since freshman year, I have heard people say how much they missed Whitman and the people here but I never understood that. I've always been perfectly content to be away from Whitman for a while. Now, with only a week back my parents drove me crazy and I was surrounded by television and adult concerns.
And I had to listen to first my mom's cousin's nephew talk about work and his daughter and then my cousins and uncles talk about buying property and about jobs and all this real world stuff. Last year they tried to tell me to be a pharmacist. This year they told me to open a tea house, but not my kind of tea house-- a trendy nightclub/tea house or, better yet, an exclusive orchid shop + tea house, or a tea house with imported asian water. I could just see that woman in her sunglasses and high heels walking into my store. Eeeee! And then I went out with Sharon and Karina and we talked about marriage and kids. Double eeee! and not of the lovely Saturday morning type.
All I wanted was a familiar Whitman college student face (preferably Eric or Elizabeth) to take me away from this awful reality that I hope to never become a part of (and which I would like to hope they will never be a part of).
But I am still left with the question of what I am going to do next year, because I really really don't want to be at home but I never thought about the problem of money and a job if I live somewhere else.
And yes, I know, lots of college seniors are probably just like me, but to kind of quote the Goonies, this is my time down here in my basement bug home.
Now I'm back and I should be happy. Time to dive into these last two weeks and prep mentally for being home for a full month. Cross your fingers for me to stay afloat.