Bachelor / Bachelorette Parties
Geez, where to begin? So many major things happened over the past month!
2 weeks prior to wedding: I know I mentioned AGES ago how Johnson was dating Crazy and they finally broke up, he moped about for a good month or 2 and we had FINALLY gotten our friend back to being his normal happy and fun self. Then came Punk Rock bowling at the end of May and while we were there Russ called us and told us he happened to be at a bar where Crazy was and he called Johnson and "Opps, I think they are back together". Both Rich and I were both angry. A few times during this whole wedding planning process Russ had thrown a wrench into the system and we began to think it was intentional and a jealousy thing. Rich decided to have a talk with Russ. He invited him over and I made myself scarce as I knew I couldn't hold my tongue, I was livid. As the night progressed I heard them go into the kitchen so I dipped out back to smoke in the dark. Rich flipped on the light outside and saw me so they both came out. I was quiet which must have seemed loud to Russ as the next thing you know he was asking me if I was mad. I tried to say, "Now is not the best time to talk about this." I don't know whether Rich thought I had this under control or what but he went off to do something in the house and before you knew it Russ and I had a HUGE row.
I am sure I wasn't perfect but in MY mind I think I didn't raise my voice but finally told him why I was angry (in a short clipped unpleasant way) and the whole thing blew up. Russ did start yelling at me and instead of arguing back I just sat there looking off in the distance and taking hard drags off my cigarette while trying not to cry. He called me a Bitch, told me I was selfish and a few other choice things he can never take back. I know it sounds unbelievable but never in my life has anyone called me a bitch. I have been called ugly by crazy abusive ex-boyfriends but no one has ever attacked my character. When Rich came back Russ reigned it in and we parted ways without speaking.
The only reason I even tell you about this fight as I wanted you to have my mind set as the weeks rolled up on the wedding. We were supposed to have a one on one rehearsal with Russ to know what he was going to say since he was officiating our wedding and we all needed to know our ques but after this fight he sort of went MIA. I kept wondering what kind of bombshell he was going to drop at the wedding. Was he not going to sign our paperwork or say something nasty while marrying us? I just had no idea and this added stress.
Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties: Me personally, I could have carried less if I did anything. Because Russ was MIA and Johnson was now basically not returning any calls since he was back dating Crazy, we both began to think the parties weren't going to happen. I felt horrible for Rich as you could see the sadness in his eyes. His best man (Johnson) wasn't returning calls and he should have been the one planning his Bachelor night. All his other grooms men were texting and asking, "when's the Bachelor party?" and then a few days before the last weekend, Johnson pulled it together. "Plan on coming out Saturday and staying over... you will be lucky if you are home on Monday!." he told him. He had rented them all a limo. All the groomsmen & some friends were all attending except for Russ (who suddenly had something to do).
small side note... Lee is married to Tiff. Lee was a groomsman and his wife Tiff was the one helping me coordinate and plan the wedding. . . . John is married to Dianne (they are a part of this story)
Because John was going to Rich's night out, Diane phoned me and asked if she could pull something together for me. I agreed. I knew it was such sort notice that most my bridesmaids wouldn't be available. I didn't want a fuss, no limos, no strippers, - just a night to drink and hang out with the 'girls'.
THE GIRLS: what we ended up labeling "the Bride Tribe" consisted of Kacy, Tiff, Diane, Efrain & his boyfriend Regino, and myself (Raquel should have been here, confirmed but never showed up or called). Diane did an awesome job decorating. She had balloons, banners, buttons & Beads for everyone to wear, she baked "dick" cupcakes, brought a shit ton of alcohol and in our pool floated an inflatable smiling dick up right. We didn't get started until midevening as Efrain got a flat tire on his way here & Tiff had to work but by 7ish the Bride tribe was here and we all drank sat around in the pool gossiping and catching up. Diane had arranged for us to go to a bar called "Still Water" where we would have a prime booth and get to watch a live 80's cover band but we had to be there by 8:30. We were scrambling to all change clothes, grab a Lyft and get there on time before they gave away our table. (Keep in mind that Rich's crew had been on their way at 2pm)
We got there and proceeded to order our first round of drinks. The night was off to a good start. Our table was perfect- off to the side a little and not too close to the stage. Dianne got up to go to the bathroom just as the band began to play. off to my right was the actual bar (with the stools and all that), To the left was the stage. I heard the first song start up and jumped up with Kacy thinking I would go out and dance by the stage when along the bar top came strolling the guitar player. He spots me (with a little white hat on my head that reads, "Bride") and he pulls me up to stand by him while he plays. I scream and dance for a few seconds and then jump down. Diane came up beside me smiling, "wow!," She stated," I couldn't have planned that better myself! I only wish I had gotten pictures!"
We danced a few songs and came back to the table to finish our drinks and order the second round. I asked around the table, "Who needs a drink?" Everyone was ready but when I got to Regino I could see he was a bit drunk but he admitted it, "maybe I should drink some water" he said smiling with his thick Spanish accent. I pointed to him and told the group, " We need to all stick together and keep an eye on Regino!." Its kind of a girls code I guess, you watch your own so you know they don't do something stupid or slide off to vomit unlady like under a table. It was now maybe ten PM.
I wondered off to go to the bathroom leaving everyone at the table, bobbing and dancing my way thru the crowd, waiting 2 people deep for the toilet and then returned to find my table completely cleared out except for Regino (smiling with one eye closed trying to focus.) I slide in beside him. "hey... where did everyone go?" I asked. I am looking over my shoulder to the outside patio but don't see them. I don't see them at the bar. Regino puts his hands to his mouth trying to hold in words. "what? … what's going on?" I ask. g 'sssss') someone got a call or text and someone.. okay... maybe ALL of them- in the men's bachelor party- got arrested and are in jail but no one wanted you to know and upset you so they all went outside to talk about it.... but you didn't hear it from me (locks his lips with an imaginary key and tosses it aside)"
No... couldn't be possible... not on my fucking watch!! I whipped out my cell phone and thought , 'I will just text Rich and ask who got arrested and put this shit to bed'... which I did... and no one replied. I kept looking down at my phone, looking around for the remainder of my Bride Tribe but finding no one. I would have to go searching for them.
I searched the patio but to no avail. In the city of Dana Point, where we were, there is a stick 'no smoking' rule and though no one in my group smoked except me, I got to thinking ' where ever people were hiding to smoke undetected, people taking a private call would be!' so I smiled at bouncers standing guard at doors and managed to smooth my way out a no access area to a back alley where my entire group stood huddled around Dianne on her cell phone.
"What's going on!? Who has been arrested?" I asked. I have images in my head of the large group of men that formed my future husbands bachelor party, standing behind long metal bars like you see in old TV shows,.. the old Westerns with only a few derelict sheriffs standing guard- they would have one tin cup between them to take turns banging across the bars.
Kacy looked at my confused. " No one has been arrested!" She states, "John is being taken by ambulance to a hospital. I guess they all ate something in Johnson's back yard before they left in the limo." I am unsure who fed me the rest of the story but it came to be that this was the story I was TOLD at the time:
- Someone brought an edible to the Bachler party before it even began and they all stood in Johnson's back yard to have a nibble. Somewhere between leaving the house, the limo ride and arriving at the strip club, John ate some and said he didn't feel well. "I guess," Someone told me," the entire crew went inside and the last 2 in line were Johnson and John. Then John said he didn't feel good and needed to wait a minute. Johnson said okay but started inside and John ran off down the street where he texted Diane to say he needed her to call an ambulance." Hearing all this I said, "well lets go then!! John can't go to the ER alone! Lets go! I can't believe they left a man behind!!"
As we scrambled out of the club (trying to close out tabs, canceling the round of drinks and food on the way), we gathered at the curb realizing we would have to take several Lyfts to fit our party. I was gathering steam in my head.... this was SOOOO out of character for my future husband. How can anyone not realize their is someone missing from their party? How can anyone, especially my eagled eye man, not notice that someone was missing and not go looking for him? I started to think out loud. "How can anyone leave a man behind?!" I steamed!
Tiff, "Well from what I heard... they were all too fucked up to know anything that's going on." So I start thinking of all the times we had drank and neither Rich nor Johnson have ever been so messed up that they didn't take some sort of caution for the rest of the party. Hell... in New Orleans we were ALL messed up and they STILL managed to get me back to the room in a wheel chair! It made no sense and this was bugging me.
We ended up back at the house. By now Kacy had decided not everyone needed to go to the hospital, she would drive Diane. The hospital and strip club as over an hour something away in Loma Linda where I used to work (no one knows to this day while they choose that area to go to). That left me, Tiff, Regino, and Efrain here alone at the house and it wasn't even midnight.
I was still going on about , "This doesn't seem plausible... Rich would not do this. Something is wrong with this picture. He wouldn't leave a man behind!" Tiff , heading towards the bathroom, said, "well you know Rich!" I replied, " I Thought I did. This is so not like him!" to which she said, "well no need to call off the wedding or anything but do you REALLY know him?"
I didn't like this. YES I knew him... didn't I?
Efrain had enough and wondered upstairs to curl up in my bed and promptly feel asleep while Regino, Tiff and I grabbed a few drinks and went to set in the spa. We stayed there for hours trying to keep busy while checking our phone for updates on both John and the rest of the party. At 3AM Tiff announced, "they are leaving the strip club now so I gotta go and meet Lee" and ran out of here so fast that I didn't even hear the door shut behind her. Regino followed me inside. I said I was going to clean up and he said he was going to help but when I looked over my shoulder I literally saw him faceplant into the sofa as he rounded the corner- he was wasted. So I spend the rest of the morning silently cleaning before heading to bed but not before sending one more text to Rich... "I am so disappointed."
Aftermath and Truth: I woke up in the morning to Diane's text. John had spent the night in the ER on an IV. They were now on their way home but had to stop at Johnson's to pick up John's car and she was steaming mad. A few minutes after she left there (cursing everyone out as she left), Rich finally Texted me. "No one got arrested," he stated.
For the next several minutes (and several days that followed) the TRUE story came out.
According to Rich: Before everyone arrived at Johnsons, a handful of the guys arrived and Johnson's dad brought out an edible brownie and asked if anyone wanted any. John had never had one and started to take a bite and Rich warned, "I wouldn't if I was you. You don't know how strong it is. I have had some really strong ones before and it can make you paranoid." And yet both he and Lee had a bite (or more). The limo arrived and everyone piled in. Rich said he was having a great time in the limo, music was bumping, everyone was laughing and talking but as he looked over at John he knew something was wrong. John is probably the oldest (next to Johnson's dad) of the crew and he was not fairing well. He was sweating and his eyes were darting around. Rich had everyone move seats and placed him in front of a vent, rolled down windows and gave him water.
When they arrived at the strip club the entire group got out and started to go in but John stood back saying he didn't feel well so Rich, Scott and another friend (Chad) sat outside leaning on the building with John. Rich tried to give him a pep talk and told him it would pass. " Maybe you just need some water," Rich said and headed into the club to get him some ice water. Rich got to the door with the water but they wouldn't allow him to take it outside as it was in a glass so he left it at the door and went to the limo to get a plastic cup to pour it in. As he was coming back to the building he noticed all the guys were gone.
According to Johnson, when Rich went inside, John started really freaking out and thought he was dead and had left his body somewhere and suddenly took off running. In pursuit was both Johnson and Chad but John was quicker and disappeared down an alley way. This is in a really bad and sketchy area so they decided to split up and circle the block in opposite directions to look for him... no one could find him and ended up back in front of the club with Rich (and the glass of water.). John had disappeared and texted Diane that he was having a heart attack or had died and needed an ambulance which she used the location app on the phone, found him and sent an ambulance. By now Diane texted Johnson and said John went to the hospital so they went on with their night thinking he was in good hands.
From what we heard later from John, he was really freaking out and when the ambulance did arrive he was sure they were taking him to hell so he busted out the back doors at a stop and ran once more. A second ambulance was called and they FINALLY got him in, strapped in place and he ended up in the hospital. Apparently he had taken some other recreational drugs he had never tried at the same time that no one knew about.
Yep... I had the shortest Bachelorette party ever and though Rich said he had fun, we both agreed that people got out of hand and caused both of us to spend the night worried about the rest of our groups and that no one can be trusted to get information out in the correct manner. It was almost like being in highschool and having all the drama where the story changes each time it is told to someone else. By Sunday afternoon we were both glad to be home, snuggled up in bed by noon retelling the story amongst ourselves and sorting out the facts.
We had less than a week to go before the wedding.
Efrain and I
Diane & Regino
Kacy, Me & a drunk Regino
Diane, Efrain, Me, Kacy, Tiff, & Regino