piling on the years
its strange that the things of childhood that make you laugh as time goes by, are also the sad reminders of one growing old!
My parents always had us in bed as the street lights flickered on outside. To remember my childhood is mostly audiable flash backs. Bed time was the sound of the electric blanket controls making a 'click...click ' sound as it hung off the side of the bed. Its mums robe as it constrains her steps down the hall "whosh whosh" but the one that ages me is the sound of the News.
I didnt watch the news but my grandparents did and my parents did and as I drifted off into sleep I head story after story of trama and reports of negative goings on. The very sound of the music queing up the beginning of the news was enough to make my stomach grow into knotts. I would think if the news didnt come on then these bad things of the world wouldnt come either. I would long to scream and tell my parents to save themselves...get away from the news. My fear of "the news" was HUGE. I wondered why people would ever want to hear this crap and told myself even as a child that Ignorance is bliss.
I noticed today that in the past few weeks, several of my conversations started with "I saw on the news" or "I read this artical..." and today it hit me like an avil in a road runner cartoon. I am old!! I used to think that Only the old people can find news interesting, why did anyone need to keep up with so many stories when life alone is busy enough? I dont know exactly when th 'news' crept into my routeen, if I did then I could mark the day off as one that I started growing old. UGHHH
I also have found that more time is spent infront of the mirror pushing loose skin around to see if I could recall what it looked and felt like when it was in its original state and location. As I do this I also panic... I tell myself that while I am doing this I am most likely breaking up the weakened strands of muscles that were fine until I munipulated them into a 'younger' shape.
Taking off my make up last night I gasp... I found I was thinking about my day. I had been hired to do hair and make up for a teenager for a highschool dance, before heading over to the location I went thru my lipsticks and sample packs to pull out any items that she might like and could carry with her in her hand bag. I thought ahead that the teen would be relieved to be able to touch up when she wanted thru out the night without worrying that she had to use something else in place of the lip color or eyeliner I had used. It had been no problem at the time to redo her hair 3 different ways as she had no idea what she wanted (up or down, straight or wavy).. I rolled back combed, styled and tore it all apart again to straighted it and then have her ask for some curls).. I honestly didnt feel put out at anytime as I kept thinking back to me at that age and how something as small as a smudged eye could ruin a night and cause stress. So why was it that at 10 at night as I am removing my make up I start thinking how this teenage hadnt even said so much as thank you, let alone even blink that I had supplied her with free cosmedics "teenagers can be so disrespectful now days" OH MY GOD!! did I actually just say that? ... add that onto the list of aging when Im not looking.
This aging thing needs to slow down and give me time to adjust. I dont like it one bit!!
My parents always had us in bed as the street lights flickered on outside. To remember my childhood is mostly audiable flash backs. Bed time was the sound of the electric blanket controls making a 'click...click ' sound as it hung off the side of the bed. Its mums robe as it constrains her steps down the hall "whosh whosh" but the one that ages me is the sound of the News.
I didnt watch the news but my grandparents did and my parents did and as I drifted off into sleep I head story after story of trama and reports of negative goings on. The very sound of the music queing up the beginning of the news was enough to make my stomach grow into knotts. I would think if the news didnt come on then these bad things of the world wouldnt come either. I would long to scream and tell my parents to save themselves...get away from the news. My fear of "the news" was HUGE. I wondered why people would ever want to hear this crap and told myself even as a child that Ignorance is bliss.
I noticed today that in the past few weeks, several of my conversations started with "I saw on the news" or "I read this artical..." and today it hit me like an avil in a road runner cartoon. I am old!! I used to think that Only the old people can find news interesting, why did anyone need to keep up with so many stories when life alone is busy enough? I dont know exactly when th 'news' crept into my routeen, if I did then I could mark the day off as one that I started growing old. UGHHH
I also have found that more time is spent infront of the mirror pushing loose skin around to see if I could recall what it looked and felt like when it was in its original state and location. As I do this I also panic... I tell myself that while I am doing this I am most likely breaking up the weakened strands of muscles that were fine until I munipulated them into a 'younger' shape.
Taking off my make up last night I gasp... I found I was thinking about my day. I had been hired to do hair and make up for a teenager for a highschool dance, before heading over to the location I went thru my lipsticks and sample packs to pull out any items that she might like and could carry with her in her hand bag. I thought ahead that the teen would be relieved to be able to touch up when she wanted thru out the night without worrying that she had to use something else in place of the lip color or eyeliner I had used. It had been no problem at the time to redo her hair 3 different ways as she had no idea what she wanted (up or down, straight or wavy).. I rolled back combed, styled and tore it all apart again to straighted it and then have her ask for some curls).. I honestly didnt feel put out at anytime as I kept thinking back to me at that age and how something as small as a smudged eye could ruin a night and cause stress. So why was it that at 10 at night as I am removing my make up I start thinking how this teenage hadnt even said so much as thank you, let alone even blink that I had supplied her with free cosmedics "teenagers can be so disrespectful now days" OH MY GOD!! did I actually just say that? ... add that onto the list of aging when Im not looking.
This aging thing needs to slow down and give me time to adjust. I dont like it one bit!!