detachment
I really am a horrible person and if you're gone it's probably for your own good. If you're not but you'd like to be, just say so here. No hard feelings, and all that, eh?
Sorry for being so melodramatic, it's the only way I know how to do anything. I wallow in my self-pity and somehow I manage to convince myself that behaviour like this is acceptable. I can't commit to anything, not even shallow internet 'friendships' because I feel like a fucking failure right now.
I'm sorry.
I'll delete this later once I've stopped being so fucking lame.
EDIT - I mean, I woke up feeling like I could fall into pieces any second and trying to read my f-page only made that feeling worse, and it's not really supposed to do that, right? So my reasons for feeling like shit mostly have to do with immature jealousy and irrationally feeling totally like an outsider, I admit. It still doesn't make the feeling any easier to deal with.
EDIT2 - I really am incapable of explaining myself clearly. My head is fucked. It's nothing any of you did, most likely. I just can't deal with feeling like I should care/commit/comment/actively participate more times so many friends when I'm barely capable of existing at all right now. I can't give any of you anything more than what you already have and I can't ask any of you to give me more than that either and I will always need more so it's only fair to let you out the easy way.
Sorry for being so melodramatic, it's the only way I know how to do anything. I wallow in my self-pity and somehow I manage to convince myself that behaviour like this is acceptable. I can't commit to anything, not even shallow internet 'friendships' because I feel like a fucking failure right now.
I'm sorry.
I'll delete this later once I've stopped being so fucking lame.
EDIT - I mean, I woke up feeling like I could fall into pieces any second and trying to read my f-page only made that feeling worse, and it's not really supposed to do that, right? So my reasons for feeling like shit mostly have to do with immature jealousy and irrationally feeling totally like an outsider, I admit. It still doesn't make the feeling any easier to deal with.
EDIT2 - I really am incapable of explaining myself clearly. My head is fucked. It's nothing any of you did, most likely. I just can't deal with feeling like I should care/commit/comment/actively participate more times so many friends when I'm barely capable of existing at all right now. I can't give any of you anything more than what you already have and I can't ask any of you to give me more than that either and I will always need more so it's only fair to let you out the easy way.