Various Chlark Text Message Drabbles
Hi...I am posting some of My posts from KSite's "Text Messages They Would Never Write" thread. Nearly all actually fit into My AU Fan Fic ....with a few culled from the events on the show....so here's some text messages, AU first!
"Study Date"
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
I know you and chloe are studying
But its 11:25 on a school night
call it a night and come home
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
its 11:25 on a school night
no more studying with clark
come home
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
Jes a few mor minnnutes, mmom
lots to study onn
tesst tmorrow
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
tesst tomrrow
neeed to finsh studdying up
bee hom sooooon
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
you need to rest your hands
that message didn't make sense
where are you studying at?
library and Talon are closed
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
where are you studying at?
library and Talon are closed
you need to rest your hands
that last message was a mess
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
at chloe's
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
at clark's
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
I JUST CALLED CHLOE'S HOUSE
GABE SAYS YOU TWO HAVEN'T BEEN SEEN SINCE 6PM
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU ARE SO BUSTED LIL MISTER
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
MARTHA KENT JUST CALLED
SAYS YOU AND CLARK ARE STUDYING HERE?
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU ARE SO BUSTED LIL LADY
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
at pete's
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
at lana's
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
DON'T DRAG PETE INTO THIS
HIS MOM SAYS HE'S ASLEEP ALREADY
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
DON'T DRAG LANA INTO YOUR MESS
HER AUNT IS WATCHING HER STUDY
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
we meant the Torch
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
we meant the Torch
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
I CALLED SHERIFF ETHAN
NO LIGHTS ON AT THE SCHOOL
THEY SHOULD BE ON, CLARK!
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
MARTHA CALLED THE COPS
NO ONE IS AT THE SCHOOL
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
ok
I'll tell
don't get mad
some back road
and
you really don't wanna know what we're doing
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
Umm
don't get mad
on a dirt road
and
you really don't wanna know what we're doing
believe Me
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
you
are
so grounded
NO CHLOE
NO POWERS WHILE DOING CHORES
thats just to start!
wait until you get home, mister!
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
It was Chloe's fault
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
chloe!
you
are
so grounded
NO CLARK
NO DAILY PLANET FOR A WEEK
wait until you get home, sister!
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
I blame Clark
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
QUIT BLAMING
GET HOME NOW
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
ok
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
QUIT BLAMING
GET HOME NOW
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
ok
day 1 into not seeing each other after school....
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
Some hero you are
you should have taken the heat
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
temptess in cargo pants
you said you'd take the heat this time
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
well...I sorta was *giggles*
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
yessssss, yes you were
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
speaking of me taking heat
sneak over later?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
speaking of giving you heat
of course
``````````````````````````````````````````
"Text and Subtext"
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
I hate being grounded
no seeing you no calls no dates
NO NOTHING
I miss you
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
I MISS you
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
aww
Just have to work on this english paper
I guess
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
same here
IM if you need help
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
re: english help
ok babe
*thinks quick and smiles*
I know a 'murder of Crows'
Go Crows!
whats the noun for...
A SINGLE horse?
*kisses*
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
a stud
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
ty!
and....
A what animal is
'a skulk of...'?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
umm...fox(es)
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
ty!
and....
whats the collective noun for...
finches?
*kisses*
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
babes
Charm
*kisses*
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
ty!
and....
clams?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
bed
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
and....
whats the collective noun for...
otters, honey?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
a romp
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
and....
whats the collective noun for...
cock-roaches *scrunches nose*?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
an intrusion *ew*
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
and....
whats the collective noun for...
cormorants?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
a gulp
*what is a cormorant?*
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
gulp!
and....
whats the collective noun for...
rooks?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
building
rook? chess?
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
yes, rook...birdie not chess
and....
whats the collective noun for...
cobras?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
a quiver
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
yes quivers
and....
whats the collective noun for...
larks, Clark *giggles*?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
ascension
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
ok....ascending
and....
whats the collective noun for...
hounds?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
a cry
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
yes...*writes down cries*
and....
whats the collective noun for...
wood-peckers? *giggles*
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
descent
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
descents*
and....
whats the collective noun for...
sharks?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
shiver
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
shiverssssssssssssssss?
thank you baby helping me with my....paper
kisses*
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
*kisses*
anytime snuggle bunny
anytime
``````````````````````````````````````````
"Latin Lovers"
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
need help QUICK!
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
whatcha need?
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
I need a latin quote...I'm in history class!
I'M NEXT UP!
I shoulda studied instead of going out with you last night....
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
no prob
vidi, vici, veni
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
Argh!
I said that and the teacher said I said it wrong!
Ceasar said: veni, vidi, vici
I got graded down!
THANKS KENT!
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
Ceasar said that but I was talking about our date last night...
*kisses*
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
oh
OH
*BLUSHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*
*KISSES*
``````````````````````````````````````````
"Boiler Room Follies"
To: all on list
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
Info. Boiler room@SHS. U have 5 min.
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: BossRoss@essentialcharacter.net
Bro?
was that a message to chloe?
I know My name is next to hers on the list...
OH MAN
Kink-KEEEEE
I won't tell
can I get time down there with erica?
P.
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: lanarox@tsi-au.org
No way. Its gets dark and dirty down there. Real dirrrty. Believe me. I know.
Plus Chloe would kick My azz if she saw Me sneak down there with you
Ta-ta
Lx2
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: Lex@shinyNsmooth.com
I'm SO there
Ta-Ta
Lx2
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: Lionel@lionmane.net
Clark My boy! Do you have a WAY to get me from Metro to Smallville in 5 min?
Curious and curiouser
LL
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: alibaker@miasma.com
In science lab taking test
can't disappear
Plus Chloe would kick my butt if she saw Me sneak down there with you
please tell her I was only talking to you to get notes
she scares me
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: sashawoodman@shs.edu
Can't.
I'm a busy bee helping Paul w/ student gov meeting
Plus Chloe would kick my butt if she saw Me sneak down there with you
she scares me
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: jodimelville@waistwatchers.net
can't.
eating.
even tho she's my friend
Chloe would kick my butt if she saw Me sneak down there with you
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
KAL
THAT CAVE
CAN BE YOURS
THE WHOLE WORLD CAN BE YOURS
IF YOU LISTEN TO ME
hit me back asap
J to the O to the R to the EL
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
was that a message to Chloe, hunny?
you two with your investigations...its cute!
play safe...
When you see her, have her come for dinner
she's such a nice, wholesome girl
Mommy
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: proudkansasfarmer@wahoo.com
Son
you didn't say please
WE RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THAT
Dad
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
Dork.
You sent the message to EVERYONE.
Way to go, Kent
Fix it.
Now.
Your Gurl Friday...Hell...Everyday
CHLOE
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
WHAT?
EVERYONE?
Oh man
Ok...
Love you
CK1
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
Super. Just Super.
I know it was just a mistake...your big hands weren't meant for widdle machines..
*kisses*
CHLOE
To: all on list
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
oops
Please disregard My last message
It was for Chloe Sullivan Only
CK
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
"Please disregard My last message
It was for Chloe Sullivan Only"
Subtle, real subtle
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
Jeeze...I'm all excited...how can I can I make up for it?
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
AND NOW WE HAVE TO FIND A NEW SPOT!
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
make up for it?
From now on...
Let Me do the thinking for us
OK?
You do the all the dirty work ; )
Mmm...dirty...
resend the message Big Boy
Luv and Kisses
CHLOE
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
Info. Boiler room@SHS. U have 5 min.
and so "The Informant" story begins...
``````````````````````````````````````````
"Splunkers"
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
Re: CONTINUED Inappropriate use of My cave
OK
I accepted the fact you two do....IT
But
In My cave?
EVERY OTHER DAY?
To: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
We forget that ...
YOU ARE IN THE WALL
don't watch
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
OMG
I JUST SQUICKED OUT
You're a dirty old...wall
EW
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
don't watch?
HOW CAN I NOT?
I'M OMNISCIENT!
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
Yeah Don't Watch!
*still squickin' *
To: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
we'll hang sheets up on the walls
then you can't see
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
I told you about the sheets
BUT noooooo....
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
I'M OMNISCIENT!
I can still hear you 2
I'm surprised no one else can
GO TO ANOTHER CAVE!
To: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
No
we like that cave
thats where me and Chloe first...
*giggles*
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
No
we like that cave
thats where me and Clark first...
*giggles*
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
STOP GIGGLING
I KNOW WHAT YOU 2 DID AND I AM STILL SHOCKED
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
*still GIGGLING*
Clark: lets go "spelunk" in front of your dad later!
To: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
*LOL*
Ok babe
I wanna "spelunk" you NOW!
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
I swear I'll cave IN if you two "splunk" in My cave!
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
EEP!
To: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
EEP!
``````````````````````````````````````````
Non-AU, Episode-Related Text messages
Bittersweet Symphony
To: clarkbda@noclue.net
From: chloe@snoop.com
thanks for the memories of prom...
4 years of being your friend...and no dance?
you suck
p.s.
you still suck
To: chloe@snoop.com
From: clarkbda@noclue.net
I was all set to dance with you but LOIS said to dance with lana!
I was gunna dance the last dance with you, but were gone!
To: clarkbda@noclue.net
From: chloe@snoop.com
no.way.
LOIS SAID THAT?
I left cuz watching you dance
with HER
KILLED ME, stupid
p.s.
you're still stupid
and you still suck
To: hooterslane@rackem.com
From: chloe@snoop.com
CLARKSAIDYOUSAIDHAWDSKGLADSAWFERNASKJFDCFNCWAHHHHH
To: chloe@snoop.com
From: hooterslane@rackem.com
baby coz?
resend
you mash things when you are mad
To: hooterslane@rackem.com
From: chloe@snoop.com
clark.said.you.told.him.to.dance.with.lana.NOT.ME.
WHY? WHY ON GOD'S EARTH WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
To: chloe@snoop.com
From: hooterslane@rackem.com
oh that.
some guy named al slipped me a $5 to do it
besides, clark wanted to dance with you but you went home
so we danced; he's surprisingly good
wanna go to the mall? I need a new tank top
To: hooterslane@rackem.com
From: chloe@snoop.com
*My poor brain suffers meltdown*
To: chloe@snoop.com
From: hooterslane@rackem.com
you should be like me lil coz....
take it from me, I learned a lot in my 21 years
To: hooterslane@rackem.com
From: chloe@snoop.com
be like you?
*thinks about it*
I think My head exploded
*checks*
yup its gone
To: hooterslane@rackem.com, clarkbda@noclue.net
From: chloe@snoop.com
from now on I'll be stupid, vapid and wear pink tanks and tight tight pants
SATISFIED???????????
To: chloe@snoop.com
From: hooterslane@rackem.com
yay
I'll drive to the mall then!
we'll get matching ribbed tanks and spray on jeans!
To: chloe@snoop.com
From: clarkbda@noclue.net
mmm
wanna dance?
To: clarkbda@noclue.net
From: chloe@snoop.com
*simply cries*
later that night...
A little TL by C
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
hey...
meet me by the river at midnight
I have something for you
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
A gift?
yay!
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
sure...
a ....gift
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
can clarkie take Me?
I LUV HIM!
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
clarkie?
NOYOUCAN'TTAKEHIMYOSTUWHORIWTFFE
sorry...my fingers started to slam on the buttons...
its a special gift ...
for a special girl...
only YOU can get it
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
well...ok
why so late?
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
damn it lana...
can't a friend give a friend a gift?
I waited 4 years for this!
especially now you and clark are are are...
BRB
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
brb?
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
sorry...
I sorta threw up
now u 2 r a couple...
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
lol
you spelt that funny
ok I'll meet you
its great you wanna give me a grad giftie!
what a great 4 years!
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
great?
LOLOLLOL
NOT WHAT I WENT THRU
JUST BE THERE TONIGHT
I need bubbles.
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
oks!
I'm gunna call clarkie and say I may be late for a date *giggles*
LATERS
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
good
great
perfect
*hurlz*
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
chloe...its midnight
where are you?
I'm by the bridge
its oh so dark
I think I hear wolves...
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
I'm by the RIVER!
R.I.V.E.R.
look...
if you're gunna hang with CLARK...
you can't be a sissy
now
don't you want your ...
gift?
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
YES
I LUV GIFTS
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
Closerrrrrrrr
said the spider to the fly
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
spiders and flies are ICKY
its dark chloe
I can't see...
is that you by the water's edge?
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
...yes...
To: chloe@snoop.net
From: hooterslane@rackem.com
HEY CUZ!!!!!!!!
I snitched some wine from the kitchen...
wanna get drunk?
*wiggles eyebrows*
you know you do!
beside I hate drinking alone
again
To: hooterslane@rackem.com
From: chloe@snoop.net
no
I already drowned My sorrows tonight
The Satyr Icon
"Study Date"
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
I know you and chloe are studying
But its 11:25 on a school night
call it a night and come home
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
its 11:25 on a school night
no more studying with clark
come home
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
Jes a few mor minnnutes, mmom
lots to study onn
tesst tmorrow
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
tesst tomrrow
neeed to finsh studdying up
bee hom sooooon
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
you need to rest your hands
that message didn't make sense
where are you studying at?
library and Talon are closed
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
where are you studying at?
library and Talon are closed
you need to rest your hands
that last message was a mess
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
at chloe's
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
at clark's
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
I JUST CALLED CHLOE'S HOUSE
GABE SAYS YOU TWO HAVEN'T BEEN SEEN SINCE 6PM
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU ARE SO BUSTED LIL MISTER
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
MARTHA KENT JUST CALLED
SAYS YOU AND CLARK ARE STUDYING HERE?
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU ARE SO BUSTED LIL LADY
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
at pete's
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
at lana's
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
DON'T DRAG PETE INTO THIS
HIS MOM SAYS HE'S ASLEEP ALREADY
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
DON'T DRAG LANA INTO YOUR MESS
HER AUNT IS WATCHING HER STUDY
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
we meant the Torch
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
we meant the Torch
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
I CALLED SHERIFF ETHAN
NO LIGHTS ON AT THE SCHOOL
THEY SHOULD BE ON, CLARK!
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
MARTHA CALLED THE COPS
NO ONE IS AT THE SCHOOL
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
ok
I'll tell
don't get mad
some back road
and
you really don't wanna know what we're doing
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
Umm
don't get mad
on a dirt road
and
you really don't wanna know what we're doing
believe Me
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
you
are
so grounded
NO CHLOE
NO POWERS WHILE DOING CHORES
thats just to start!
wait until you get home, mister!
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
It was Chloe's fault
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
chloe!
you
are
so grounded
NO CLARK
NO DAILY PLANET FOR A WEEK
wait until you get home, sister!
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
I blame Clark
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
QUIT BLAMING
GET HOME NOW
To: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
ok
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
QUIT BLAMING
GET HOME NOW
To: gabegetslaffs@poopyplant.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
ok
day 1 into not seeing each other after school....
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
Some hero you are
you should have taken the heat
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
temptess in cargo pants
you said you'd take the heat this time
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
well...I sorta was *giggles*
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
yessssss, yes you were
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
speaking of me taking heat
sneak over later?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
speaking of giving you heat
of course
``````````````````````````````````````````
"Text and Subtext"
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
I hate being grounded
no seeing you no calls no dates
NO NOTHING
I miss you
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
I MISS you
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
aww
Just have to work on this english paper
I guess
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
same here
IM if you need help
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
re: english help
ok babe
*thinks quick and smiles*
I know a 'murder of Crows'
Go Crows!
whats the noun for...
A SINGLE horse?
*kisses*
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
a stud
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
ty!
and....
A what animal is
'a skulk of...'?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
umm...fox(es)
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
ty!
and....
whats the collective noun for...
finches?
*kisses*
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
babes
Charm
*kisses*
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
ty!
and....
clams?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
bed
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
and....
whats the collective noun for...
otters, honey?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
a romp
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
and....
whats the collective noun for...
cock-roaches *scrunches nose*?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
an intrusion *ew*
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
and....
whats the collective noun for...
cormorants?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
a gulp
*what is a cormorant?*
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
gulp!
and....
whats the collective noun for...
rooks?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
building
rook? chess?
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
yes, rook...birdie not chess
and....
whats the collective noun for...
cobras?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
a quiver
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
yes quivers
and....
whats the collective noun for...
larks, Clark *giggles*?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
ascension
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
ok....ascending
and....
whats the collective noun for...
hounds?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
a cry
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
yes...*writes down cries*
and....
whats the collective noun for...
wood-peckers? *giggles*
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
descent
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
descents*
and....
whats the collective noun for...
sharks?
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
shiver
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
shiverssssssssssssssss?
thank you baby helping me with my....paper
kisses*
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
*kisses*
anytime snuggle bunny
anytime
``````````````````````````````````````````
"Latin Lovers"
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
need help QUICK!
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
whatcha need?
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
I need a latin quote...I'm in history class!
I'M NEXT UP!
I shoulda studied instead of going out with you last night....
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
no prob
vidi, vici, veni
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
Argh!
I said that and the teacher said I said it wrong!
Ceasar said: veni, vidi, vici
I got graded down!
THANKS KENT!
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
Ceasar said that but I was talking about our date last night...
*kisses*
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
oh
OH
*BLUSHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*
*KISSES*
``````````````````````````````````````````
"Boiler Room Follies"
To: all on list
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
Info. Boiler room@SHS. U have 5 min.
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: BossRoss@essentialcharacter.net
Bro?
was that a message to chloe?
I know My name is next to hers on the list...
OH MAN
Kink-KEEEEE
I won't tell
can I get time down there with erica?
P.
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: lanarox@tsi-au.org
No way. Its gets dark and dirty down there. Real dirrrty. Believe me. I know.
Plus Chloe would kick My azz if she saw Me sneak down there with you
Ta-ta
Lx2
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: Lex@shinyNsmooth.com
I'm SO there
Ta-Ta
Lx2
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: Lionel@lionmane.net
Clark My boy! Do you have a WAY to get me from Metro to Smallville in 5 min?
Curious and curiouser
LL
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: alibaker@miasma.com
In science lab taking test
can't disappear
Plus Chloe would kick my butt if she saw Me sneak down there with you
please tell her I was only talking to you to get notes
she scares me
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: sashawoodman@shs.edu
Can't.
I'm a busy bee helping Paul w/ student gov meeting
Plus Chloe would kick my butt if she saw Me sneak down there with you
she scares me
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: jodimelville@waistwatchers.net
can't.
eating.
even tho she's my friend
Chloe would kick my butt if she saw Me sneak down there with you
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
KAL
THAT CAVE
CAN BE YOURS
THE WHOLE WORLD CAN BE YOURS
IF YOU LISTEN TO ME
hit me back asap
J to the O to the R to the EL
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: marthamuffins@wahoo.com
was that a message to Chloe, hunny?
you two with your investigations...its cute!
play safe...
When you see her, have her come for dinner
she's such a nice, wholesome girl
Mommy
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: proudkansasfarmer@wahoo.com
Son
you didn't say please
WE RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THAT
Dad
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
Dork.
You sent the message to EVERYONE.
Way to go, Kent
Fix it.
Now.
Your Gurl Friday...Hell...Everyday
CHLOE
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
WHAT?
EVERYONE?
Oh man
Ok...
Love you
CK1
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
Super. Just Super.
I know it was just a mistake...your big hands weren't meant for widdle machines..
*kisses*
CHLOE
To: all on list
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
oops
Please disregard My last message
It was for Chloe Sullivan Only
CK
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
"Please disregard My last message
It was for Chloe Sullivan Only"
Subtle, real subtle
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
Jeeze...I'm all excited...how can I can I make up for it?
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
AND NOW WE HAVE TO FIND A NEW SPOT!
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
make up for it?
From now on...
Let Me do the thinking for us
OK?
You do the all the dirty work ; )
Mmm...dirty...
resend the message Big Boy
Luv and Kisses
CHLOE
To: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
Info. Boiler room@SHS. U have 5 min.
and so "The Informant" story begins...
``````````````````````````````````````````
"Splunkers"
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
Re: CONTINUED Inappropriate use of My cave
OK
I accepted the fact you two do....IT
But
In My cave?
EVERY OTHER DAY?
To: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
We forget that ...
YOU ARE IN THE WALL
don't watch
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
OMG
I JUST SQUICKED OUT
You're a dirty old...wall
EW
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
don't watch?
HOW CAN I NOT?
I'M OMNISCIENT!
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
Yeah Don't Watch!
*still squickin' *
To: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
we'll hang sheets up on the walls
then you can't see
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
I told you about the sheets
BUT noooooo....
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
I'M OMNISCIENT!
I can still hear you 2
I'm surprised no one else can
GO TO ANOTHER CAVE!
To: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
No
we like that cave
thats where me and Chloe first...
*giggles*
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
No
we like that cave
thats where me and Clark first...
*giggles*
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
STOP GIGGLING
I KNOW WHAT YOU 2 DID AND I AM STILL SHOCKED
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
*still GIGGLING*
Clark: lets go "spelunk" in front of your dad later!
To: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
*LOL*
Ok babe
I wanna "spelunk" you NOW!
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
I swear I'll cave IN if you two "splunk" in My cave!
To: incognitohero@nchlark.org; JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com
From: SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
EEP!
To: JOR-EL@omniscientcavedweller.com; SnArKyGURL4u@nchlark.org
From: incognitohero@nchlark.org
EEP!
``````````````````````````````````````````
Non-AU, Episode-Related Text messages
Bittersweet Symphony
To: clarkbda@noclue.net
From: chloe@snoop.com
thanks for the memories of prom...
4 years of being your friend...and no dance?
you suck
p.s.
you still suck
To: chloe@snoop.com
From: clarkbda@noclue.net
I was all set to dance with you but LOIS said to dance with lana!
I was gunna dance the last dance with you, but were gone!
To: clarkbda@noclue.net
From: chloe@snoop.com
no.way.
LOIS SAID THAT?
I left cuz watching you dance
with HER
KILLED ME, stupid
p.s.
you're still stupid
and you still suck
To: hooterslane@rackem.com
From: chloe@snoop.com
CLARKSAIDYOUSAIDHAWDSKGLADSAWFERNASKJFDCFNCWAHHHHH
To: chloe@snoop.com
From: hooterslane@rackem.com
baby coz?
resend
you mash things when you are mad
To: hooterslane@rackem.com
From: chloe@snoop.com
clark.said.you.told.him.to.dance.with.lana.NOT.ME.
WHY? WHY ON GOD'S EARTH WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
To: chloe@snoop.com
From: hooterslane@rackem.com
oh that.
some guy named al slipped me a $5 to do it
besides, clark wanted to dance with you but you went home
so we danced; he's surprisingly good
wanna go to the mall? I need a new tank top
To: hooterslane@rackem.com
From: chloe@snoop.com
*My poor brain suffers meltdown*
To: chloe@snoop.com
From: hooterslane@rackem.com
you should be like me lil coz....
take it from me, I learned a lot in my 21 years
To: hooterslane@rackem.com
From: chloe@snoop.com
be like you?
*thinks about it*
I think My head exploded
*checks*
yup its gone
To: hooterslane@rackem.com, clarkbda@noclue.net
From: chloe@snoop.com
from now on I'll be stupid, vapid and wear pink tanks and tight tight pants
SATISFIED???????????
To: chloe@snoop.com
From: hooterslane@rackem.com
yay
I'll drive to the mall then!
we'll get matching ribbed tanks and spray on jeans!
To: chloe@snoop.com
From: clarkbda@noclue.net
mmm
wanna dance?
To: clarkbda@noclue.net
From: chloe@snoop.com
*simply cries*
later that night...
A little TL by C
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
hey...
meet me by the river at midnight
I have something for you
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
A gift?
yay!
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
sure...
a ....gift
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
can clarkie take Me?
I LUV HIM!
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
clarkie?
NOYOUCAN'TTAKEHIMYOSTUWHORIWTFFE
sorry...my fingers started to slam on the buttons...
its a special gift ...
for a special girl...
only YOU can get it
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
well...ok
why so late?
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
damn it lana...
can't a friend give a friend a gift?
I waited 4 years for this!
especially now you and clark are are are...
BRB
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
brb?
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
sorry...
I sorta threw up
now u 2 r a couple...
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
lol
you spelt that funny
ok I'll meet you
its great you wanna give me a grad giftie!
what a great 4 years!
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
great?
LOLOLLOL
NOT WHAT I WENT THRU
JUST BE THERE TONIGHT
I need bubbles.
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
oks!
I'm gunna call clarkie and say I may be late for a date *giggles*
LATERS
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
good
great
perfect
*hurlz*
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
chloe...its midnight
where are you?
I'm by the bridge
its oh so dark
I think I hear wolves...
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
I'm by the RIVER!
R.I.V.E.R.
look...
if you're gunna hang with CLARK...
you can't be a sissy
now
don't you want your ...
gift?
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
YES
I LUV GIFTS
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
Closerrrrrrrr
said the spider to the fly
To: snarkattack@snoop.com
From: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
spiders and flies are ICKY
its dark chloe
I can't see...
is that you by the water's edge?
To: pinkprincess@almilesquick.net
From: snarkattack@snoop.com
...yes...
To: chloe@snoop.net
From: hooterslane@rackem.com
HEY CUZ!!!!!!!!
I snitched some wine from the kitchen...
wanna get drunk?
*wiggles eyebrows*
you know you do!
beside I hate drinking alone
again
To: hooterslane@rackem.com
From: chloe@snoop.net
no
I already drowned My sorrows tonight
The Satyr Icon