...sweet marie, there's a hole where your heart should be...
i've reached a point in my life. a point that calls for reflection. a point that calls for insight. but most of all, a point that calls for action. there is a time for fighting and a time for dancing...now you will teach us to dance.
what do you do when you realize that who you are hates who you've become?
there are things about my life that i like, that i'm 'ok' with. but then again, there are so many things that i am so unhappy with. it's past the point of equilibrium; scales tilted towards flaws and misery. i'm content with my education. i mean, hell, in two days i'll be done with college with not one, but two degrees. that's not so uncommon in this generation, but it's certainly better than a few other people i know. not in a condescending way, but in a strictly collaborative way. i like the way my personality has evolved. i'm still essentially the same person i was on day one, but i've picked up a few traits here and there that add to my being. contrarily, and hypocritically enough, i don't like who i've become. i feel as if my lifestyle obsession has created a monster that i can no longer control. sometimes i want to erase the record and go back to start.
i'm thinking about people i haven't considered in quite some time, 3 years to be exact. i'm not even sure if any of my friends know who this person is. if you're reading this, and know who i'm talking about, i'd like your opinion on this.
there are a few other people that have been running through my head, and i don't know what to make of any of them. in all honesty, i think i know where i'd like to go, but i'm not sure if it's such a good idea. one road leads to a level of comfort. another leads to desire. and the third, well that's an unknown road for me, leading deeply into the darkest of forests. i fear that i'm going to choose the easy, cushy pathway.
what do you do when you realize that who you are hates who you've become?
there are things about my life that i like, that i'm 'ok' with. but then again, there are so many things that i am so unhappy with. it's past the point of equilibrium; scales tilted towards flaws and misery. i'm content with my education. i mean, hell, in two days i'll be done with college with not one, but two degrees. that's not so uncommon in this generation, but it's certainly better than a few other people i know. not in a condescending way, but in a strictly collaborative way. i like the way my personality has evolved. i'm still essentially the same person i was on day one, but i've picked up a few traits here and there that add to my being. contrarily, and hypocritically enough, i don't like who i've become. i feel as if my lifestyle obsession has created a monster that i can no longer control. sometimes i want to erase the record and go back to start.
i'm thinking about people i haven't considered in quite some time, 3 years to be exact. i'm not even sure if any of my friends know who this person is. if you're reading this, and know who i'm talking about, i'd like your opinion on this.
there are a few other people that have been running through my head, and i don't know what to make of any of them. in all honesty, i think i know where i'd like to go, but i'm not sure if it's such a good idea. one road leads to a level of comfort. another leads to desire. and the third, well that's an unknown road for me, leading deeply into the darkest of forests. i fear that i'm going to choose the easy, cushy pathway.