The joys of dealing with government departments
*ring ring*
Yes?
"This is $GovtDept. We're ringing up about some paperwork you lodged."
OK, slightly busy at this exact moment, can I call you back shortly?
"'K, use this number, bye."
*** shortly... ***
*ring ring*
"Welcome to GovtDept! This is an automated message! It will lead you through ten minutes of options which have SOD ALL to do with the reason you called! There is no way to bypass it!"
*** ten minutes later ***
"Hiyee! I'm someone who is not the person who called you, and is not even in their area. I can put you on hold!" *QUEUE'D!*
*** some time later ***
PHONE BATTERY: I am dying, Egypt, dying! *dies*
Grr. *gets second phone*
*ring ring*
"Welcome to GovtDept! This is an automated message! It will lead you through ten minutes of options which have sod all to do with the reason you called! There is no way to bypass it!"
*preloads voice queue*
*** eight minutes later ***
"Hiyee! I'm not the person who called you, or the one who you spoke to last! I can put you in the fasttrack queue to the team you need!" *TRANSER'D!*
*** some time later ***
2ND PHONE BATTERY: This is the last of Earth! I am content! *dies*
Oh, come ON. *gets third phone*
*ring ring*
"Welcome to GovtDept! This is an automated message! It will lead you through ten minutes of options which have sod all to do with the reason you called! There is no way to bypass it!"
*gives hard-won bypass phrases*
*** five minutes later ***
"Hiyee! I'm not anyone you've spoken to before! And the team you need to speak to are all busy for the rest of the day! Isn't that GREAT?"
So I've just run down three phone batteries and wasted my afternoon to be told that the people who specifically told me to call them back today on this number cannot, in fact, actually speak to me.
"Yup!"
So now what?
"Oh, they'll call back. Maybe sometime next week. Maybe not."
And if not?
"Call us!"
Yes?
"This is $GovtDept. We're ringing up about some paperwork you lodged."
OK, slightly busy at this exact moment, can I call you back shortly?
"'K, use this number, bye."
*** shortly... ***
*ring ring*
"Welcome to GovtDept! This is an automated message! It will lead you through ten minutes of options which have SOD ALL to do with the reason you called! There is no way to bypass it!"
*** ten minutes later ***
"Hiyee! I'm someone who is not the person who called you, and is not even in their area. I can put you on hold!" *QUEUE'D!*
*** some time later ***
PHONE BATTERY: I am dying, Egypt, dying! *dies*
Grr. *gets second phone*
*ring ring*
"Welcome to GovtDept! This is an automated message! It will lead you through ten minutes of options which have sod all to do with the reason you called! There is no way to bypass it!"
*preloads voice queue*
*** eight minutes later ***
"Hiyee! I'm not the person who called you, or the one who you spoke to last! I can put you in the fasttrack queue to the team you need!" *TRANSER'D!*
*** some time later ***
2ND PHONE BATTERY: This is the last of Earth! I am content! *dies*
Oh, come ON. *gets third phone*
*ring ring*
"Welcome to GovtDept! This is an automated message! It will lead you through ten minutes of options which have sod all to do with the reason you called! There is no way to bypass it!"
*gives hard-won bypass phrases*
*** five minutes later ***
"Hiyee! I'm not anyone you've spoken to before! And the team you need to speak to are all busy for the rest of the day! Isn't that GREAT?"
So I've just run down three phone batteries and wasted my afternoon to be told that the people who specifically told me to call them back today on this number cannot, in fact, actually speak to me.
"Yup!"
So now what?
"Oh, they'll call back. Maybe sometime next week. Maybe not."
And if not?
"Call us!"