*sizzle*
Right. Up at 5am. Shower-zap! Grab shirt and iron it. Run for the car, remembering to shovel extra ID, shaver and phone into pockets. Drive like speed-limited maniac to work, shaving like a loony at red lights. Get to work. Smooth chin - zing!
Work work work. Why are there so many emails coming in on a Friday? Gah. Fire up email chainsaw and slash through them at high speed. Find two dozen previous overdue tickets stuck in my queue and sort them out by calling everyone and their dog.
Last day at work. Consolidate all emails from last six months into things useful to me and things not. Burn copies of personal writings (those not already FTP'd) to USB drive. Clear desk and drawers of accumulated paper mountains. Save one or two items. Deal with the avalanche of calls generated by the dodgy forced patch rollout in South Australia. Rant about stupid work policies. No-one cares. Still not king.
Hey, they fixed the chairs in the break room after only a year! Take call from new pimp who wants to talk with the current employer for a reference. Send reference details. Swat the extra dozen emails which have piled up since I blinked.
See Boss^3 (N) wandering by. She was the one who negotiated the failed attempt to retain me with my previous pimp. She is completely taken aback when I confirm that yes, that does mean I am leaving. Having been subjected to her fluffbrained antics for the past half-year, I am not surprised.
End of shift, and I'm gone. Check voicemail again, hand in security pass at the door. Keep thinking I've forgotten something. Can't think what. Out to the car. Zoom!
Pull into new employer's building and meet up with new pimp. Get handed sheaf of forms that could bludgeon an elephant. Spend 20 minutes writing my name, signing and dating things. Extra ID stuffed into pockets is checked and cross-checked. There is some more historical personal information which I have at home and will have to forward for the police checks. Pimp remembers at last moment to produce form saying I will actually get paid.
Paid... now I remember what I forgot before - to fill in my last timesheet so I'll get paid for that last week. Dammit. Throw it on the pile of things to solve when I get a free minute. Finish signing forms. Point out typo in one form, smug smug. Forms are usual guff, we own your soul, first-born children, etc.
Back into car. Zoom-zoom to post office before closing. Will not be able to do this in future because of new fixed shift. Toss this on pile of things to solve later. Look at letters - bill, oh yay. Bah.
Zip-zoom home. Clear out mailbox, pick up newspaper from driveway, sort and collate while walking, dump into piles. Check bill, not due until April. Check outstanding other bills, we're clear until Tuesday. OK.
Consult internal lists. Pick up phone and call previous pimp, explain timesheet issue, get assurances it will be fixed. Hmm. We'll see. Fire up email, send last-minute information to new pimp. Already had it ready to go on PC, go me!
Now I have forms with rates on, send email to Ken The Mortgage Guy (from last year) about making our home loan even spiffier now we both have jobs paying more than "all the dirt you can eat".
Tomorrow's agenda: Buy Meg's parents' car. May need to buy some new shirts too, for the new workplace. Also rearrange entire lifestyle to accommodate new schedule.
Tonight's agenda: SLEEP!
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go extract my shaver from the car. YOINK!