You've got to admit it's getting better~
Hey guys, it's been awhile.
The kids and I are all settled in our apartment now and I just stopped by to tell you how great it is. For once in my life I have a home where I feel safe and free to be myself. I don't have to worry about anyone criticizing me or trying to control me. All my life I've had people looking over my shoulder and pointing out all the things I've done wrong. It took me a couple months to adjust to living away from all that and I still have night mares about my parents sometimes, but that's all they are, nightmares. When I wake up they're gone. It's a strange to think those horrible feelings used to be my reality.
It helps to have a trans-friendly employer. I can't tell you how much I love my job compared to every single job I had before it. Nothing else I've ever done was even remotely close to being what this job is for me. None of my former employers were ever this respectful, nor did they provide for my needs or conform to my schedule they way this one does. I've changed my name on almost everything now, except for my credit cards. I've been lazy about that because I already added my name as a secondary user. It's a mere formality that my old name is the main account holder.
A lot of things changed when I moved. I dropped about 20lb. right away (I might've gained it back over the holidays though). I started moving around the house, cooking and cleaning more, and actually enjoying it for once. I never realized how much my mother was holding me back. Most days I used to sit stubbornly at my computer almost all day in hopes of avoiding a conversation with her. She was that stifling. Now I only have to see her once a week so she can spend time with her grandkids.
I kept RPing and I met a lot of new friends and had a lot of fun. I even met a few potential romantic interests. There was a girl I sort of dated for awhile. It blew over, but we're still friends. Currently I'm seeing a guy who lives in the England. He works as a butler. I find this hilarious. I didn't know butlers were a thing! He's an amazing guy and I may be falling for him. Sometimes I think about going back to fic writing, but I don't have the time for it. I'm working 40 hours a week as it is and going to college full time. Some days I barely have the energy to sit down and do homework with my kids and finish minor household chores.
The only thing that could possibly be better is if I were able to start my medical transition. I've gone through another doctor. This one threw up his hands and asked me what I wanted him to do. I asked him to help me and tried to explain how he could, but eventually gave up because it's clear that he's from a very traditional mindset. However, I have recently gotten on Kaiser. They are supposed to cover hormones in CA, so I'm hoping they'll help me. If only the damn cards would come in the mail already!
The kids and I are all settled in our apartment now and I just stopped by to tell you how great it is. For once in my life I have a home where I feel safe and free to be myself. I don't have to worry about anyone criticizing me or trying to control me. All my life I've had people looking over my shoulder and pointing out all the things I've done wrong. It took me a couple months to adjust to living away from all that and I still have night mares about my parents sometimes, but that's all they are, nightmares. When I wake up they're gone. It's a strange to think those horrible feelings used to be my reality.
It helps to have a trans-friendly employer. I can't tell you how much I love my job compared to every single job I had before it. Nothing else I've ever done was even remotely close to being what this job is for me. None of my former employers were ever this respectful, nor did they provide for my needs or conform to my schedule they way this one does. I've changed my name on almost everything now, except for my credit cards. I've been lazy about that because I already added my name as a secondary user. It's a mere formality that my old name is the main account holder.
A lot of things changed when I moved. I dropped about 20lb. right away (I might've gained it back over the holidays though). I started moving around the house, cooking and cleaning more, and actually enjoying it for once. I never realized how much my mother was holding me back. Most days I used to sit stubbornly at my computer almost all day in hopes of avoiding a conversation with her. She was that stifling. Now I only have to see her once a week so she can spend time with her grandkids.
I kept RPing and I met a lot of new friends and had a lot of fun. I even met a few potential romantic interests. There was a girl I sort of dated for awhile. It blew over, but we're still friends. Currently I'm seeing a guy who lives in the England. He works as a butler. I find this hilarious. I didn't know butlers were a thing! He's an amazing guy and I may be falling for him. Sometimes I think about going back to fic writing, but I don't have the time for it. I'm working 40 hours a week as it is and going to college full time. Some days I barely have the energy to sit down and do homework with my kids and finish minor household chores.
The only thing that could possibly be better is if I were able to start my medical transition. I've gone through another doctor. This one threw up his hands and asked me what I wanted him to do. I asked him to help me and tried to explain how he could, but eventually gave up because it's clear that he's from a very traditional mindset. However, I have recently gotten on Kaiser. They are supposed to cover hormones in CA, so I'm hoping they'll help me. If only the damn cards would come in the mail already!