About Choice...
As part of a very long and complicated essay about my past (which was due yesterday, but there were computer issues, and I honestly can't be expected to regurgitate the ten most significant events in my life without experiencing an equally significant amount of psychological distress), I ended up delving into a relationship that changed my life.
Long story short. She was my best friend. I didn't even know I was in love with her until we had a fight and she stopped talking to me.
"Are people's behaviors determined by forces over which they have no control, or can people choose to be what they wish to be?" (Feist & Feist, 2008, 11 & 12). However, the feelings that I had were romantic, not perverse, and I certainly hadn't intended to become attracted to her. If anything, I had fought against it and denied it for over a year because I had been raised to believe that it was wrong. Yet, I experienced this attraction regardless of my 'choice' not to have it. Still, I believe that no matter what life throws at us, we can always choose how to respond to the situations we are in. In light of these overwhelming and inescapable emotions, many people ask what choice we have. I believe that we have a very clear one. We can choose to accept ourselves and try to love ourselves for all that we are, or we can chose to reject our own emotions... live according to other people's standards, lie to ourselves, and gain a superficial social acceptance.
The choice is one that each person must make for themselves. For me, living a lie is not an option. I already know from my own personal experiences that denying my true emotions in order to gain social acceptance has resulted in making me feel completely and utterly miserable. I'm ashamed for lying to myself and fighting against my own feelings, but I wasn't aware that I had any other choice. I did what I was taught to do. Now that I do know better, I'll never turn back. I will never again blame myself for having natural feelings that I can't help having just because other people find them repulsive. I refuse to lie about who I am to make others comfortable, I refuse to hate myself for being honest about the ways in which I'm different than others, and I refuse to be ashamed for being me.
I may or may not post the rest of the essay sometime in the future.
Long story short. She was my best friend. I didn't even know I was in love with her until we had a fight and she stopped talking to me.
"Are people's behaviors determined by forces over which they have no control, or can people choose to be what they wish to be?" (Feist & Feist, 2008, 11 & 12). However, the feelings that I had were romantic, not perverse, and I certainly hadn't intended to become attracted to her. If anything, I had fought against it and denied it for over a year because I had been raised to believe that it was wrong. Yet, I experienced this attraction regardless of my 'choice' not to have it. Still, I believe that no matter what life throws at us, we can always choose how to respond to the situations we are in. In light of these overwhelming and inescapable emotions, many people ask what choice we have. I believe that we have a very clear one. We can choose to accept ourselves and try to love ourselves for all that we are, or we can chose to reject our own emotions... live according to other people's standards, lie to ourselves, and gain a superficial social acceptance.
The choice is one that each person must make for themselves. For me, living a lie is not an option. I already know from my own personal experiences that denying my true emotions in order to gain social acceptance has resulted in making me feel completely and utterly miserable. I'm ashamed for lying to myself and fighting against my own feelings, but I wasn't aware that I had any other choice. I did what I was taught to do. Now that I do know better, I'll never turn back. I will never again blame myself for having natural feelings that I can't help having just because other people find them repulsive. I refuse to lie about who I am to make others comfortable, I refuse to hate myself for being honest about the ways in which I'm different than others, and I refuse to be ashamed for being me.
I may or may not post the rest of the essay sometime in the future.