Title: Picture Perfect
Author:
the_resolver Fandom: 100%
Chapter: 1/1 one shot
Pairing: Changbum/Jonghwan, Chanyong/Minwoo, Broken! Changbum/Rokhyun
Rating: R - to be safe
Warning: Boy love, mentions of various mental illnesses and disorders.
Summary: Changbum likes photographs, he likes to keep memories
A/N: I really wish there was an 100% fancomm because these boys need so much more love <3
Changbum sometimes hated living in his shared two-bed apartment. His roommate often bringing his boyfriend home. They didn't appear to mind Changbum hearing them, walking in on them - stammering some excuse to run away - or how having sex in communal areas would affect Changbum's day-to-day life. But they were in love, which in South Korea, for a gay male can be incredibly hard. However, Changbum and his roommate were in the right profession to find it. Changbum and his roommate were both photographers, and male models, well you'd be surprised how many of them want each other, photographers etc.
Changbum's roommate happened to be dating a model. They'd been dating for a long time, Changbum couldn't really remember Chanyong without Minwoo. Minwoo was older, and maybe that's why he was willing to settle into a routine with Chanyong a lot of the younger models, sleep around. Changbum's ex, Rokhyun had been a little like that. He'd slept around, settled with Changbum for a bit and then moved onto a model. Changbum had actually shot the shoot where they met. Hyukjin. The boy who had stolen his boyfriend, but really Changbum hadn't minded. His heart had already been straying. He'd shot a photo shoot with Chanyong, partially because Chanyong would be photographing his own partner so needed someone to back him up and also because the photo had a subtle sexual undertone and Chanyong was a little jealous. Which Changbum had at the time failed to understand as Chanyong was insisting that they were not dating.
That was where he met him. Changbum smiled as he looked at the photograph, it was just a simple shot, Minwoo was standing looking at the other boy, who had his arm around Minwoo's waist, smiling looking off the other way from Minwoo. As if it was two friends - or lovers - walking together, with skinship. It was the profile of the boy that had struck Changbum's attention because he had this real love for jaw lines. Actually Changbum liked any lines in the facial structure. Changbum became a photographer for that reason, he liked faces and he liked making them look perfect. He was introduced to the boy, Jonghwan, he was somewhat shy. Probably because Chanyong was known for his photography, he was at the time one of the best.
Changbum put the photo down when he heard the satoori voice that he knew could only belong to the Daegu-born boyfriend of his roommate, who now apparently had a key. Not that Changbum minded, he was pretty used to Minwoo being around. Minwoo was always around, but Changbum knew that it was because Minwoo was very much in love with his roommate and best friend and for that he wouldn't complain. Minwoo popped his head round Changbum's door and smiled. "Hey, I was just wondering if-"
"He's out." Changbum said not looking at Minwoo, and continuing to file though his photographs. He didn't know where his roommate was, nor did he have particular interest and he also did not fancy talking to Minwoo about his roommate. He was more content looking at his pictures. Minwoo didn't say anything and just left, leaving the door ajar and turning the TV on.
Changbum smiled at the next photo he came to, it was a photo from his first date with Jonghwan. He'd taken him to a restaurant that Chanyong recommended from one of his non-dates (that were actually dates) with Minwoo. Changbum smiled remembering how nervous he was. He already had strong feelings towards Jonghwan but that day was going to be the day that he finally got to find out if they could date. Jonghwan had dressed nicely, checked shirt, tight jeans, but Changbum couldn't care less about his body. The lines on his face looked better with less makeup and his smile was beautiful. Jonghwan was just as shy on the date, but the good kind of shy. Coy. Changbum liked that. The date had ended with Changbum walking Jonghwan home and giving him a peck on the cheek.
Changbum smiled at the next photo, from their first kiss, the photo wasn't of that, but it was from before it. Changbum had taken Jonghwan out to see the new year's fireworks along the Han river. They were both sat back from the crowd and Changbum had taken the photo when he saw how beautiful Jonghwan's face looked light up by the dusty light of the fireworks. Jonghwan had looked over at Changbum and asked why he was taking photos, to which Changbum had answered that he wanted to keep his memories to show his grandchildren. Jonghwan had laughed a little, and then smiled. Before Changbum could have consciously stopped himself he was kissing Jonghwan, who kissed back.
They kissed a few more times under the fireworks before Changbum dropped his boyfriend off at his door. Changbum had walked home with a spring in his step. That was the night Minwoo had had his first panic attack. Changbum knew it was common, most models ended up suffering from either panic or anxiety disorder. But he'd found Chanyong really distressed as his boyfriend sat on the floor, back pressed against the wall with his head between his knees. Changbum had told Chanyong to hold Minwoo. Minwoo had moved into his arms. They eventually got Minwoo to calm down and got him to fall asleep. Changbum still remembered how Chanyong sat up all night watching to make sure he was ok.
Minwoo's panic attacks continued until Chanyong put his foot down and told Minwoo he either needed to see a doctor or quit modelling. Minwoo - to everyone's surprise - did both. He got a job at a magazine as a stylist. (Changbum had assumed that Minwoo either slept with someone high up or slept with someone that knew someone high up in the magazine before Chanyong), this actually settled Minwoo's panic attacks. Chanyong relaxed and now had a stylist for his photo shoots.
Changbum smiled at a photo of Jonghwan sleeping. They'd gone back to his place after a few drinks and made love, Jonghwan grasping at Changbum begging for more with his eyes as his voice failed to cooperate. Jonghwan was different to Changbum's previous lovers. He was a snuggler, he was not a feisty as they were, and he got hyper after climaxing, unlike Changbum who was always a little on the sleepy side, but something about Jonghwan made Changbum want to stay awake and listen to his boyfriend. He would however, often fall asleep before Jonghwan. He always woke up first though and that was where the photo was taken from. Jonghwan had woke up and complained that Changbum only took weird photos.
Changbum didn't mind when Jonghwan refused to have his photo taken. It was common for models to have bad days about their looks, they were trained to believe that looks were everything. Changbum was used to models so it was ok with him when Jonghwan had 'ugly days'. He would end up going round to Jonghwan's, who would be in a onesie and sat in front of the TV. Changbum would take him in his arms and hold him close, pressing soft kisses to his cheek and telling him how beautiful he was.
Changbum smiled at the next photo, feeling Jonghwan's arms around him. The photo was of them holding each other. Jonghwan had started getting panic attacks and was having serious anxiety issues. It was hard for them to go on dates, Jonghwan's panic attacks were triggered by things outside, too many people, too much open space, someone looking at him too long. Changbum didn't really know how to deal with that, Minwoo hadn't spiralled like that. Changbum also didn't feel he had the same right to tell Jonghwan what to do like Chanyong had been able to tell Minwoo.
Staying inside had advantages, they talked a lot more and if they were inside Jonghwan was more comfortable so Changbum had a collection of candid photos of him. Jonghwan had stopped modelling, how could he continue when he couldn't leave his house? Jonghwan was down about not modelling but he was getting help for his anxiety issues. Minwoo had even gone round so they could talk about their shared experience.
Changbum smiled at the next photo, it was of Jonghwan, looking flustered. Jonghwan had managed for the first time to walk to Changbum's without a panic attack, to show how much better he was getting from before when he couldn't even step out of his house. However, he had walked in on Chanyong and Minwoo who - as usual - had no concern for other people, because Minwoo couldn't wait for Chanyong to take him to his room so the sofa had to do. Jonghwan had been embarrassed but when Changbum had later spoken to the couple they hadn't really even noticed him walk in. Jonghwan had gotten over his 'view' and then beamed telling Changbum that he walked all the way without running because of a panic attack coming along. Changbum was delighted because quite honestly he wanted the old Jonghwan. He loved Jonghwan regardless of what state he was in but he liked the calm Jonghwan who would give him soft kisses as they stood looking at the river.
Jonghwan got better, only to get worse. Changbum watched him spiral faster this time. It had been triggered by a news article about Jonghwan. As a high profile model who had disappeared off the modelling scene there was a lot of speculation about why. When the media discovered he was seeing a therapist they assumed panic and anxiety disorder and ran news prints. Jonghwan had been distraught and was once again refusing to leave the house. Changbum just accepted this, he spent a lot of time at Jonghwan's taking photos of his boyfriend, trying to help him feel strong.
Changbum was pulled out of his thoughts. "Changgie." it was Minwoo again. "We have to go in 10, are you ready?" Changbum nodded looking at Minwoo. Minwoo offered a comforting look. "I know today is going to be hard, but Chanyong and I are here for you, you know that right?" Changbum nodded. "No one wants to see their loved one in this state."
"Minwoo, please." Changbum said looking at his roommates boyfriend. "I don't want to talk about it." Minwoo opened his mouth to speak. "Please, Minwoo, you don't get it. It's the kind of thing you don't get unless you've been in my place. How do you keep loving someone who isn't themselves in the hope that they will go back?"
"He's just lost perspective." Minwoo said, trying to sound hopeful.
"He was curled up on his floor, refusing to move, because he was too anxious. He cried for 4 hours hysterically, regardless of how sick it made him. And I panicked. So now he's in the hospital."
"He's depressed Changbum." that was Chanyong, who had come over to tell him it was time to go and see his partner. Changbum sighed, he knew they were right, and he was also only being this way because he was scared. He was scared that the person he was about to see was not the boy he loved. Changbum was quiet on the car ride and the couple in the front of the car knew not to say anything to him. Minwoo absently playing with the radio to distract him from the awkward atmosphere.
When they arrived the building was a cold white, Changbum took a photo though, he wanted to keep memories even the bad ones. He stared at the menacing building and closed his eyes. He was about to turn around when he felt a pair of arms around him. Minwoo. "Changbum, just think it's going to be worth it when you see him." Changbum nodded and Minwoo let go. The three walked in and signed in. While sat in the waiting room, Changbum didn't see anyone looking remotely happy. He wondered if this place really cured people. His head shot up when they called his name.
Changbum walked through into a small room, that was equipped with a panic button and he was instructed on when to use it, but they said they were not going to watch as they trusted Jonghwan was recovering. The door opened after what seemed like years. And there stood the boy who Changbum had been missing. He looked better, he knew he wasn't fully better, but he looked so much better. Jonghwan looked at Changbum and ran in, jumping into his boyfriends arms as the two shared a brief kiss. Changbum took a photo and Jonghwan whined.
"This photograph is a memory. Even if you change completely, we'll be able to remember today." Changbum said softly, "Photographs never change"