schadenfreude!
"Shyamalan has boiled every epic heroic story of the past 20 years down to its most basic, primal soup-y essence, so he can spray it all over the audience, in a kind of Hero's-Journey bukkake."
"So full of nothing that almost everything good about the source material had to be left out."
[Shyamalan] wanted to leave us shaking our heads and marveling at a terribleness that was not merely terrible, but a terribleness that leaves you astonished at just how very, very terrible it is."
"The dearth of racially appropriate casting in the U.S. simply means that fewer Asians were humiliated by appearing in what is surely the worst botch of a fantasy epic since Ralph Bakshi's animated desecration of The Lord of the Rings back in 1978. The actors who didn't get to be in The Last Airbender are like the passengers who arrived too late to catch the final flight of the Hindenburg."
"It's unfortunate that the one element people apparently cannot manipulate in this world is wood, as that would be the only way to extract a decent performance."
"The current national priorities should be as follows: reduce carbon emissions and stop funding the films of M. Night Shyamalan."
"It is so bad that it is one of the very few films that I can think of that would come up on the short end of the stick when compared to the infamous Battlefield Earth. It is so bad that not only could Uwe Boll make a better movie than Shyamalan has done here, he already has."
"[This movie is] like you're at a party and a dude walks up to you and starts telling you a story, but he's so drunk that he gets most of the details wrong and he gets things out of order and he skips important information and, most importantly, he's totally unaware that he's pissed his pants and his dick is showing. It's embarrassing, and you hardly know where to look."
"I believe M. Night can ruin the world."
And maybe best of all for the irony factor, from a review that seems unaware of the casting controversy:
"Ringer has no range as an actor. There is no depth in this performance, no excitement in his eyes. Sure, he gets to do some kung fu movements to control the air and water, but Jaden Smith could knock this kid on his butt in a second."
YOU HAVE BEEN DEFEATED FOR ALL TIME! YOU WILL NEVER RISE FROM THE ASHES OF YOUR SHAME AND HUMILIATION!
...ahem.
Anyway, Karate Kid is honestly pretty awesome. Good writing, great fight choreography, Jackie Chan is brilliant in all the ways he always is, and Jaden Smith - I can't remember the last time I saw a child actor carry a movie this well. You can already see his dad's charisma in him, and he hasn't even hit puberty yet; he's going to be huge.
Go see it, and wait on Airbender till you can pirate it to laugh at without paying money.
"So full of nothing that almost everything good about the source material had to be left out."
[Shyamalan] wanted to leave us shaking our heads and marveling at a terribleness that was not merely terrible, but a terribleness that leaves you astonished at just how very, very terrible it is."
"The dearth of racially appropriate casting in the U.S. simply means that fewer Asians were humiliated by appearing in what is surely the worst botch of a fantasy epic since Ralph Bakshi's animated desecration of The Lord of the Rings back in 1978. The actors who didn't get to be in The Last Airbender are like the passengers who arrived too late to catch the final flight of the Hindenburg."
"It's unfortunate that the one element people apparently cannot manipulate in this world is wood, as that would be the only way to extract a decent performance."
"The current national priorities should be as follows: reduce carbon emissions and stop funding the films of M. Night Shyamalan."
"It is so bad that it is one of the very few films that I can think of that would come up on the short end of the stick when compared to the infamous Battlefield Earth. It is so bad that not only could Uwe Boll make a better movie than Shyamalan has done here, he already has."
"[This movie is] like you're at a party and a dude walks up to you and starts telling you a story, but he's so drunk that he gets most of the details wrong and he gets things out of order and he skips important information and, most importantly, he's totally unaware that he's pissed his pants and his dick is showing. It's embarrassing, and you hardly know where to look."
"I believe M. Night can ruin the world."
And maybe best of all for the irony factor, from a review that seems unaware of the casting controversy:
"Ringer has no range as an actor. There is no depth in this performance, no excitement in his eyes. Sure, he gets to do some kung fu movements to control the air and water, but Jaden Smith could knock this kid on his butt in a second."
YOU HAVE BEEN DEFEATED FOR ALL TIME! YOU WILL NEVER RISE FROM THE ASHES OF YOUR SHAME AND HUMILIATION!
...ahem.
Anyway, Karate Kid is honestly pretty awesome. Good writing, great fight choreography, Jackie Chan is brilliant in all the ways he always is, and Jaden Smith - I can't remember the last time I saw a child actor carry a movie this well. You can already see his dad's charisma in him, and he hasn't even hit puberty yet; he's going to be huge.
Go see it, and wait on Airbender till you can pirate it to laugh at without paying money.