134. Would you ever kill a human being?
I would have said no. Or I would’ve given some wisecrack remark, played it off like I was a real tough guy, like I could kill someone if the right situation came along-and who wants to admit a weakness in front of friends?-but that I sure wouldn’t want to, and didn’t expect it’d happen. And I didn’t expect it to happen. What the hell business does a hardware drummer-especially one like me; I’m a cheerful guy, sure, can hardly hold a grudge for half a day-have killing someone?
Only, then…
God. Do you know what it takes to stand like that? To pick up-pick up a gun and hold it out, just stand there knowing what you’re going to do, holding it straight for a moment, and her laying there; she’ll never wake up, never have to… Standing there. Do you understand what that takes, how it happens?
Hell if I do. Just… There. It happened. No reason, no explanation, just happened. I don’t understand a damned bit of it. And, Christ, I don’t know that I want to understand.
Only, then…
God. Do you know what it takes to stand like that? To pick up-pick up a gun and hold it out, just stand there knowing what you’re going to do, holding it straight for a moment, and her laying there; she’ll never wake up, never have to… Standing there. Do you understand what that takes, how it happens?
Hell if I do. Just… There. It happened. No reason, no explanation, just happened. I don’t understand a damned bit of it. And, Christ, I don’t know that I want to understand.