"Ohhhh I, I, I'm Still Alive..."
It's been a long while since I've wrote in this, mainly because I don't feel like sharing my life with everyone, just certain people, but I had an urge to write an entry today for some reason. The summer is officially over, basically, and this is probably one of the last weeks I will actually have somewhat of a social life for the next few years. I'm excited to start school, but I know that it's going to be difficult to see more than a few people during it, which is actually OK by me since I don't really talk to many people.
The last few months have brought about a number of changes in my personal life. For the first time in a long time, I actually have met a number of new girls and gone on dates. I actually started to feel something for someone as well. It was pretty special to actually know that I can love again. I guess that after breaking out of the "comfort zone" and seeing new people and starting over brings about that special happiness, but it is also frustrating. I ended up falling for basically a girl who was totally into me and then did a complete 180 on me. I don't think I'll ever understand how I can have 2 of the best dates of my life with someone, only for them to like push me away by date 4. I know that she definately felt something the 1st two nights, but she's also got issues-depression mainly and I know she was debating about getting into a relationship to begin with when I met her. I think she was just scared that she would fall hard for me and get hurt it seems. I think her past relationship ruined her for at least a while. Whatever. I've met a total of like 5 girls, but she blew me away the most...none of the others really did that much. I had fun, sure, but nothing that was that immediate spark.
I have 2 more girls to meet and 1 seems like it could be on that level, so hopefully it works out. If not, I will be in school in 2 weeks and I'll meet some new people that don't need to get to know me up front. It's kinda nice to be in the game again, but at the same time it's new to me and I get nervous about what to say/what I can and can't say, and how much info to give out up front. I think my problem is that I'm so used to talking to people who know me so well that I probably come on too strong/let out too much info at first. It's all a learning process. I haven't really met anyone new that was my girlfriend since Amanda like 6 years ago. I've gone on some unsuccessful dates since her basically. At least school might bring some hope.
That's another thing...I have orientation tomorrow! I'm kinda excited/nervous about it. I know where I'm going, but I'm nervous of being late/not being able to get outta work on time. It's been so long since I've had a class, so I hope I can last 11 hours on Sunday. I know I love cooking and can watch the Food Network that long if I had the time in a day, so that's a start at least. I really can't wait to learn techniques and even more flavor pairings than I know now. For the money I'm paying I better come out knowledgeable and happy. Well, time for the gym so I can keep off my 35 plus pounds I've lost. =D
The last few months have brought about a number of changes in my personal life. For the first time in a long time, I actually have met a number of new girls and gone on dates. I actually started to feel something for someone as well. It was pretty special to actually know that I can love again. I guess that after breaking out of the "comfort zone" and seeing new people and starting over brings about that special happiness, but it is also frustrating. I ended up falling for basically a girl who was totally into me and then did a complete 180 on me. I don't think I'll ever understand how I can have 2 of the best dates of my life with someone, only for them to like push me away by date 4. I know that she definately felt something the 1st two nights, but she's also got issues-depression mainly and I know she was debating about getting into a relationship to begin with when I met her. I think she was just scared that she would fall hard for me and get hurt it seems. I think her past relationship ruined her for at least a while. Whatever. I've met a total of like 5 girls, but she blew me away the most...none of the others really did that much. I had fun, sure, but nothing that was that immediate spark.
I have 2 more girls to meet and 1 seems like it could be on that level, so hopefully it works out. If not, I will be in school in 2 weeks and I'll meet some new people that don't need to get to know me up front. It's kinda nice to be in the game again, but at the same time it's new to me and I get nervous about what to say/what I can and can't say, and how much info to give out up front. I think my problem is that I'm so used to talking to people who know me so well that I probably come on too strong/let out too much info at first. It's all a learning process. I haven't really met anyone new that was my girlfriend since Amanda like 6 years ago. I've gone on some unsuccessful dates since her basically. At least school might bring some hope.
That's another thing...I have orientation tomorrow! I'm kinda excited/nervous about it. I know where I'm going, but I'm nervous of being late/not being able to get outta work on time. It's been so long since I've had a class, so I hope I can last 11 hours on Sunday. I know I love cooking and can watch the Food Network that long if I had the time in a day, so that's a start at least. I really can't wait to learn techniques and even more flavor pairings than I know now. For the money I'm paying I better come out knowledgeable and happy. Well, time for the gym so I can keep off my 35 plus pounds I've lost. =D