Couldn't or Wouldn't
Title: Couldn't or Wouldn't
Author: Ru-salki99
Rating: R
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to CW/WB
Summary: Post 6x05 - Castiel comes to visit Dean.
The day after Dean had returned to normal, no longer being of the undead, Samuel left them and Dean headed with Sam to the next town over where they decided to stop for the night.
Dean told Sam he wanted to get his own room ‘cause he had to call Lisa and just needed to be by himself for a while. Sam nodded his understanding, letting Dean know that he’d be just next-door if he needed him, which Dean really wouldn’t.
He had no idea what was up with Sam, who or what he was and it really creeped him out. So yeah, while he did have to call Lisa and get his head round everything that had happened, he just didn’t want to be in a room with Sam either.
As he entered his own room, he dumped his bag on the table in the corner and pulled out his phone, about to call Lisa again, even though he didn’t really expect her to answer. And really, he didn’t blame her. He just wanted to make sure Ben was okay and that he didn’t hurt him too bad.
But as soon as he’d pulled his phone out his bag, the familiar sound of fluttering hit his ears, and he had to wonder at how, even though he’d been gone for over a year, that sound still made him feel safe.
“Dean,” Castiel said from where he stood by the door.
“Cas,” Dean said with a nod, throwing his phone down onto the table next to his bag, “How’s Heaven?”
“Busy,” Castiel told him, staring at him closely.
“What?” Dean snapped after a few minutes of staring, “I got food on my face or something?”
“No. I just. I thought we had lost you.”
“We?”
Castiel stepped closer to him, “That I’d lost you.”
Dean looked at him closely, wondering what he meant by that. Thankfully though, it appeared that Castiel was feeling chatty.
“When that vampire turned you, I felt it. Felt your pain and then it all just stopped. I felt nothing. Not until yesterday when it all came back, and I felt our bond… it was the first time since I raised you from Hell that I haven’t been able to feel you in some way and it terrified me.”
Frowning, Dean stepped closer to him, “If you were so worried, how come you didn’t come down and offer a little angelic assistance?”
Castiel’s face flushed a little and he looked down at the floor, unable to meet Dean’s eyes, “I couldn’t,” he said quietly.
“Couldn’t or wouldn’t?”
“The thought of seeing you dead, again, pales in comparison to the thought of seeing you become a monster. Something I would have to… destroy. So no. I couldn’t.”
“You would’ve though right?” Dean asked, pushing his way into Castiel’s personal space and forcing the angel to look up at him, “if I’d started to hurt people, tell me you would’ve ganked me.”
Castiel nodded, “It would be what you would’ve wanted me to do,” he confirmed.
Dean gave him a soft smile, glad that Castiel still knew him as well as he hoped, and rest his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, “Well, I’m okay now. So I guess…” he lost his train of thought as he realised just how close they were, how close Castiel’s mouth was and that they hadn’t been alone, like this for well over a year.
Taking a deep breath, Dean dropped his hand and stepped back.
“You wish me to leave,” Castiel stated, looking scared that Dean would say yes.
“No,” Dean told him, “which means you probably should,” he added. “I mean, I’m with Lisa now, or at least I think I am, and you’ve got your Heavenly duties to attend to.”
“Dean…”
“I mean, you’re the one that said you’ve got more things to worry about now that…”
But Dean was cut off from whatever he was going to say as Castiel pushed forward and pulled him into a hard kiss. Dean’s hands immediately went to Castiel’s hips, pulling him in closer and tilting his head in a way that allowed Castiel to deepen the kiss.
They stumbled back towards the bed, Dean landing with Castiel on top of them, their lips never parting once as they got themselves comfortable until, it was all too much and Dean had to pull back to take a deep breath and calm himself.
Castiel, like he had done so many times before, rested his forehead in the crook of Dean’s shoulder, breathing in Dean’s scent as if it was elixir, “I forgot that you talk too much,” he mumbled into Dean’s ear.
Dean let out a small laugh at that and stroked his hand through Castiel’s hair, “I missed you too.”
Castiel brought his head up to stare down at Dean before reaching forward for another, far more gentle kiss that held so much promise that Dean felt his insides melt. No one. Nobody, had ever been able to make him feel like that. No one but Castiel and it’s why he had realised, too late, while lying in the arms of Lisa, that he was deeply in love with the angel.
“I’m sorry I have not been able to see you more,” Castiel said as he pulled back from the kiss. “But you appeared happy with Lisa.”
Dean shook his head, “I’m never happy Cas. Not without you,” he explained as he trailed his finger across Castiel’s brow and down his cheek, not caring that he was technically initiating a chick flick moment. “I should never have let you leave.”
“I had to go,” Castiel said. “We both knew that. But I… sometimes I wish that I had remained human and would’ve had to stay. We would both be happy then.”
Dean shook his head, “Being human made you miserable,” he said before smiling mischievously, “and now that you’re all bad ass again…” he thrust his hips against Castiel’s, “well it’s all kinds of hot.”
Castiel looked down at him with seriousness that Dean hadn’t seen on him for a long time before speaking, “I believe we should get naked now.”
“I believe you’re right,” Dean agreed before eagerly helping Castiel out of his coat.
THE END
Author: Ru-salki99
Rating: R
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to CW/WB
Summary: Post 6x05 - Castiel comes to visit Dean.
The day after Dean had returned to normal, no longer being of the undead, Samuel left them and Dean headed with Sam to the next town over where they decided to stop for the night.
Dean told Sam he wanted to get his own room ‘cause he had to call Lisa and just needed to be by himself for a while. Sam nodded his understanding, letting Dean know that he’d be just next-door if he needed him, which Dean really wouldn’t.
He had no idea what was up with Sam, who or what he was and it really creeped him out. So yeah, while he did have to call Lisa and get his head round everything that had happened, he just didn’t want to be in a room with Sam either.
As he entered his own room, he dumped his bag on the table in the corner and pulled out his phone, about to call Lisa again, even though he didn’t really expect her to answer. And really, he didn’t blame her. He just wanted to make sure Ben was okay and that he didn’t hurt him too bad.
But as soon as he’d pulled his phone out his bag, the familiar sound of fluttering hit his ears, and he had to wonder at how, even though he’d been gone for over a year, that sound still made him feel safe.
“Dean,” Castiel said from where he stood by the door.
“Cas,” Dean said with a nod, throwing his phone down onto the table next to his bag, “How’s Heaven?”
“Busy,” Castiel told him, staring at him closely.
“What?” Dean snapped after a few minutes of staring, “I got food on my face or something?”
“No. I just. I thought we had lost you.”
“We?”
Castiel stepped closer to him, “That I’d lost you.”
Dean looked at him closely, wondering what he meant by that. Thankfully though, it appeared that Castiel was feeling chatty.
“When that vampire turned you, I felt it. Felt your pain and then it all just stopped. I felt nothing. Not until yesterday when it all came back, and I felt our bond… it was the first time since I raised you from Hell that I haven’t been able to feel you in some way and it terrified me.”
Frowning, Dean stepped closer to him, “If you were so worried, how come you didn’t come down and offer a little angelic assistance?”
Castiel’s face flushed a little and he looked down at the floor, unable to meet Dean’s eyes, “I couldn’t,” he said quietly.
“Couldn’t or wouldn’t?”
“The thought of seeing you dead, again, pales in comparison to the thought of seeing you become a monster. Something I would have to… destroy. So no. I couldn’t.”
“You would’ve though right?” Dean asked, pushing his way into Castiel’s personal space and forcing the angel to look up at him, “if I’d started to hurt people, tell me you would’ve ganked me.”
Castiel nodded, “It would be what you would’ve wanted me to do,” he confirmed.
Dean gave him a soft smile, glad that Castiel still knew him as well as he hoped, and rest his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, “Well, I’m okay now. So I guess…” he lost his train of thought as he realised just how close they were, how close Castiel’s mouth was and that they hadn’t been alone, like this for well over a year.
Taking a deep breath, Dean dropped his hand and stepped back.
“You wish me to leave,” Castiel stated, looking scared that Dean would say yes.
“No,” Dean told him, “which means you probably should,” he added. “I mean, I’m with Lisa now, or at least I think I am, and you’ve got your Heavenly duties to attend to.”
“Dean…”
“I mean, you’re the one that said you’ve got more things to worry about now that…”
But Dean was cut off from whatever he was going to say as Castiel pushed forward and pulled him into a hard kiss. Dean’s hands immediately went to Castiel’s hips, pulling him in closer and tilting his head in a way that allowed Castiel to deepen the kiss.
They stumbled back towards the bed, Dean landing with Castiel on top of them, their lips never parting once as they got themselves comfortable until, it was all too much and Dean had to pull back to take a deep breath and calm himself.
Castiel, like he had done so many times before, rested his forehead in the crook of Dean’s shoulder, breathing in Dean’s scent as if it was elixir, “I forgot that you talk too much,” he mumbled into Dean’s ear.
Dean let out a small laugh at that and stroked his hand through Castiel’s hair, “I missed you too.”
Castiel brought his head up to stare down at Dean before reaching forward for another, far more gentle kiss that held so much promise that Dean felt his insides melt. No one. Nobody, had ever been able to make him feel like that. No one but Castiel and it’s why he had realised, too late, while lying in the arms of Lisa, that he was deeply in love with the angel.
“I’m sorry I have not been able to see you more,” Castiel said as he pulled back from the kiss. “But you appeared happy with Lisa.”
Dean shook his head, “I’m never happy Cas. Not without you,” he explained as he trailed his finger across Castiel’s brow and down his cheek, not caring that he was technically initiating a chick flick moment. “I should never have let you leave.”
“I had to go,” Castiel said. “We both knew that. But I… sometimes I wish that I had remained human and would’ve had to stay. We would both be happy then.”
Dean shook his head, “Being human made you miserable,” he said before smiling mischievously, “and now that you’re all bad ass again…” he thrust his hips against Castiel’s, “well it’s all kinds of hot.”
Castiel looked down at him with seriousness that Dean hadn’t seen on him for a long time before speaking, “I believe we should get naked now.”
“I believe you’re right,” Dean agreed before eagerly helping Castiel out of his coat.
THE END