For my girl Teri ♥♥
Title: Hooking Up Is Not The Answer
Characters: Jensen/Jared
Rating: R
Medium: Fic
Word Count: 5217
Summary: When Jared met Jensen he was looking for a means to an end but fate had other ideas and of course there's Jensen.
Author's Note: Written for tmn1966 not the story she asked for mind, but the one that decided it wanted to be written back about mid-September *head.desk* anyway I hope that you feel better sweetie, and I will write the other things....eventually, love you ♥
Jensen rolled his cocktail umbrella between his thumb and forefinger. He was bored to say the least and he missed Danneel. She was away on a work related trip and wouldn't be back for at least another few hours. Drinking alone wasn't really something he was given to do. And on the rare occasion he did he usually stuck to beer. But fuck it he preferred the fruity drinks anyway and if Danneel was there he wouldn't even think twice about it. He could glare down anyone who dared look funny in his direction. But it didn't come to that. He was actually thinking of heading upstairs when a guy sat down next to him, but facing out into the room, elbows back on the counter.
"Can I buy you a drink?"
Jensen cocked his brow as he turned his head to get a look at him. Dude was all lines and muscle: strong. And that jaw line. Jensen didn't normally go for guys with long hair, but there was something about this one. His eyes were watching Jensen's. Jensen's tongue swept across his lower lip and he smirked as he picked up his glass to finish off his drink, "Yeah, sure."
Guy picks up the glass after Jensen set it down, "Two please."
And that was it. They started talking but they both already knew where it was going. Guy couldn't stop touching Jensen, leaning into him as they exchanged words. He was good. Knew how to make Jensen feel good, to make Jensen trust him. Jensen knows they're moves, but guy's hand was stroking his inner thigh and Jensen really wanted to get laid.
When Jensen told the guy he lived upstairs the foreplay was definitely over. They were up there faster than something that it doesn't take all that long to say. And they crashed down the hallway towards Jensen's room, knocking into the side table -where he and Danneel liked to keep their keys- on their way. Unable to keep their mouths off each other. Hands roamed. Grabbed. Pulled. Caressed. They curved off their trajectory. And they stopped smack in the middle of the living room.
Guy dropped to his knees, he got Jensen's zipper down and his nose pressed in against the warmth of Jensen's length over the soft cotton of his boxer briefs when all of a sudden he just wailed. Like for real, honest to god howling. Guy's shoulders quaked, and Jensen froze for a moment as the man before him sobbed into his crotch.
Shit!
Jensen didn't know what to do. And he didn't know what to do with his hands. He was half tempted to touch the guy's head, or maybe pat his shoulder? Talk about awkward. But they couldn't just stay like this. Jensen scratched the back of his neck and then cleared his throat, "Uh, uhm," and his lips twitched a little, "Guy, are you," shit, there was nothing he could say that wouldn't make him feel like a complete insensitive jerk, but what was he supposed to do? "Uh I mean are you okay?"
"Fuck, I'm sorry," the guy said as he lifted his head ever so slightly and glanced up at Jensen's face before slumping back onto his heels, "Shit. I'm so sorry. I didn't-, I shouldn't. I mean I thought if maybe-...FUCK!" and the guy's shoulders started up again with the tremor.
"Hey Guy,” and Jensen scrunched his nose at having to use that word again. “Take it easy, no one's going to do anything here that they don't want," I mean sure it kind of stung and Jensen's ego had definitely taken a hit but...
"Jared."
How had they gotten here?
"Sorry what?"
"My name is Jared."
"Jensen," he said, teeth sinking into his lip, "Uh Jared, you mind if maybe we move this over to the couch, I'd kind of like to zip back up now."
"Right. Shit. Sorry." Jared scrambled to his feet and took a seat, keeping his eyes averted as Jensen sorted himself, and Jensen kept his back turned, pinching the bridge of his nose he took a deep breath before he looked at Jared again.
"Yeah. You mentioned that," the guy, Jared, was still sniffling, "And I don't want to breach boundaries here, granted you just had your face in my crotch," and Jensen really didn't want to set him off again, "but you gotta tell me."
Jared nodded, eyes still glued to the floor, "My boyfriend just left me. He cheated. Or I think he cheated. I came home the other night and all his stuff was just gone," Jensen's heart kind of broke for him, he got the distinct feeling from Jared's level of devastation that this was a zero warning kind of deal, "And I thought that maybe if I could just- I thought," Jared shook his head bringing his head up and his chin quivered as he just barely managed to look Jensen in the eye, "I don't know what I thought, I just wanted it to stop hurting."
"And hooking up with a complete stranger was the answer?" Jensen hadn't really meant to say it like that, it just sort of came out.
"I know," Jared said heavily, almost choked on the utterance actually, "Shit. I'm sorry. I should probably just go," and he got up, backed up towards the door.
"Wait," Jensen held up his hands, open palms, "Stop. Look man, I don't know how you got here," and he shook his head, "Not important. But you are in no shape to be going anywhere," he didn't like where Jared's head was at and he knew that he'd been drinking, "And god help me I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you walk out that door right now. So just take a seat, or take my bed and sleep it off."
"I can't take your bed-"
"Please, you'd be doing me a favour. Just take the bed, I can use my roommate's room, it's fine-"
"You'll really let me stay?"
"Looks like," Jensen said with a small smile and once Jared came back towards the centre of the room Jensen let out a breath he hadn't even known he'd been holding. He got Jared set up, gave him a bottle of water, showed him to his room and where the bathroom was and bid him good night.
He'd thought he'd be able to sleep easier knowing that Jared wasn't out all alone where he could possibly hurt himself like for instance if he were to get behind a wheel, but apparently knowing that Jared was safe wasn't enough for his brain to shut up about him. So much so he'd almost completely forgotten that Danneel was coming back tonight until she opened her door and walked right in closing it behind her.
In lieu of any kind of greeting she got straight to the point, "There's a strange man in your bed and you're not in there with him," it was her way, "What happened?"
"Nothing," Jensen said with a barely there shrug of his shoulders and he kept his eyes downcast, not that that would deter her.
"Nothing?" she repeated. Jensen didn't say anything, he knew she wouldn't let him get away with it, he could feel the concern rolling off her in waves, "Tell me you did not meet him at the bar."
"Danni-"
"When we moved in here we promised we wouldn't hook up with anyone downstairs. What if he's dangerous?"
That almost made him laugh, but he didn't, he didn't know the guy, sure, but he had to trust his gut, there'd been a spark of something before they left the bar, and Jared just didn't seem like the dangerous type, "He's harmless. He's just kind of a mess right now."
But his best friend needed a little more convincing if that look on her face was anything to go by, "And that's supposed to make me feel better because?"
"His boyfriend walked out on him."
"Someone walked out on that guy?"
Jensen nodded and then something occurred to him, "You went to my room first?"
Danneel just gave him a well yeah duh look, "Don't pretend like we wouldn't be having this conversation if I'd come here first."
True. Not that they’d never shared a bed but it wasn’t exactly a regular occurrence, there were usually reasons, circumstances, he just wasn’t so sure what they were right now, aside from the obvious, "Well maybe I just missed you."
"That hurts Ackles." that he'd potentially use the words just as a cover. But he wouldn't.
He pulled her down onto the bed, "You know I did," and he kissed the top of her head as she rolled into his side.
"Mutual."
And for a fraction of a second he almost believed he'd gotten away with it until...
"Wait. Details. You know details? How do you know the boyfriend thing? What happened?"
Jensen thumped his head back into his pillow and dragged his hand down his face. Normally they told each other everything, "When we were...When he was....He-, he uh kind of broke down."
"Broke down?"
"Danni come on," but normally the guy up for discussion wasn't still in the building, "Can't we play twenty questions when it's just us?"
"It is just us!"
Jensen sighed. Danneel gently clapped her hand against his cheek twice, "You brought home a stray injured puppy. And you didn't even get to lick his wounds."
Jensen made that why god why whiny noise and then pleaded, "Can we sleep now?"
"Okay. But you do realise he's still going to be here in the morning."
"I know." Another round of awkward to look forward to no doubt.
---
When Jared woke the following morning to a strange bed, in a room he didn't know, it was with a jolt and the worst hangover you could possibly imagine. The ache in his head was very loud and punchy in letting itself be known. He pushed himself up and to the edge of the bed, his feet touching down to the floor and he hunched over. The base of his palm pressed firmly into his brow. Fuck. Bits and pieces started to come back to him. He'd almost had a one night stand up until he'd started balling his eyes out into the guy's, Jensen's, dick. Fuck.
How was he supposed to face him now? And Christ morning afters were always at least somewhat semi-embarrassing, but this? Was it too much to ask that Jensen still be asleep so that he and his shame could just sneak out the door unseen and if there was a god unheard from ever again? Jared sighed punching his fist against his head. Could he really be so rude?
But he didn't get to find out. The decision was taken out of his hands by a light rap on the door.
Jensen opened the door and cleared his throat and then worried his lip a little, shaking his head, "So. How are you feeling?" which gave Jared the impression that that wasn't what he meant to say at all.
But there it was.
How did he feel?
Better didn't really feel true. Was he as emotionally distraught as he had been last night? Probably. But he had to say something. He shrugged and his mouth opened but Jensen cut him off, "Sorry. Stupid question. But are you-"
And Jensen left it hanging like that, but Jared got what he meant regardless of whether either of them could put a label on it, "Yeah."
Jensen gave a small nod, "Just wanted to give you a heads up. My roommate, Danneel, is home, and she's requested pancakes so if you uh wanted to stay for breakfast-"
But Jensen didn't get to finish, a very beautiful red head stuck her head round the door, arch to her brow, "Your roommate? Is that how you're introducing me now? And here I thought we were friends."
"Best," they said together, exchanging a look, which made Jared smile for a fraction of a second.
But he didn't know about breakfast, hell he didn't know how he was functioning as well as he was right now, and there was the whole daunting prospect of making conversation, and you know, "I don't want to impose... any more than I already have."
Danneel scoffed, waving it off, "Non-sense. You're staying. Besides. Jensen makes the best pancakes."
Jared looked between the two of them.
"Not that she's biased or anything."
"It's not biased when it's the truth."
And he had one thing crystal clear, Danneel wasn't going to let him leave without sustenance, "Alright. I'm in."
And when it actually came down to it and he was sitting at their breakfast bar while they moved about the kitchen and living area. It wasn't anywhere near as bad as he might have thought it could be. In fact it was kind of quiet, but not in that awkward way. But in the comfort of two people who had shared their space for years and knew all the little quirks. And somehow they managed to not make Jared feel like he was an alien invading. Extra triple brownie points. And the pancakes were pretty amazing, you know, of the forkfuls he actually got down.
They chatted of course, mostly about Danneel's trip, which Jared was grateful for. There was the odd question directed at him but nothing too probing. And then it was time to go. Jensen was dropping Danneel off at her yoga class and he insisted upon giving Jared a lift home. And it wasn't until Danneel closed the car door behind her that tension crept back into his muscles and he gave Jensen a nervous smile.
"Really man you don't have to do this, I can just get out here."
"Sure," Jensen said with a shrug, "I mean if that's what you want. Not gonna hold you against your will. But if this is about me well it's nothing off my back. S'no big deal. But-"
"But it is a big deal," Jared cut across Jensen, he was almost incensed about it; he didn't really have the energy for it, but mostly he was just in disbelief, "D'you know how many other guys would have just bounced me on my ass? And you-..." that Jensen could be so kind, emotion rose from his chest, "I've already taken too much."
Jensen just gave him a smile that let him know he heard him, "But," he said as if Jared hadn't interrupted him, "If it's about not wanting to go back yet- I can drop you off somewhere else. Maybe with a friend?"
Did Jared want to go back to his own place? To their place? All Charlie's stuff was already gone. The only trace he'd left behind were some photos of the two of them together. Smiles and laughter mocking him from every frame. But he didn't know if he was quite ready to face Genevieve yet. He hadn't dared turn on his phone. She was going to kill him.
In the end he gave Jensen the directions to Misha's. Misha would let him be without too much prodding. And he'd take care of the letting Genevieve know that he was in fact still alive. He wasn't well. He knew that. Didn't make it any easier. After they arrived and Jensen had killed the engine Jared didn't move, so they just sat for a moment. He was going to move. But he didn't feel like breaking down all over again. All it would take was a look from his friend.
Jensen broke the silence, "Okay, you clearly already think I'm crazy so while I'm on a roll here, take my number, you ever want to talk..." and he shrugged a little bit as he offered Jared his business card.
Jared took it and tucked it into the palm of his hand, "Thanks," and he exhaled as he opened the door up, the for everything going unsaid though the weight of it rested heavily behind his eyes as he looked back at Jensen.
"Take care Jared."
And Jared got out of the car, "You too."
---
Jensen had just been finishing up the paperwork on his last sale. There was always something just that much more satisfying about creating something for a family home. That the piece would weather with them through life and love. That it would be used for its purpose and not left in a corner for vanity. But alas vanity was what kept his doors open. And it didn’t lack for admiration. Just meant something different.
When he got the call, he rattled off his standard greeting with an appropriate amount of professional pleasantry and then he heard that voice.
“Jensen?”
Jared.
How could he forget?
It had been just about a month since their encounter and it wasn’t that Jensen had stopped thinking about Jared it was just that he had plenty of other things going on in his life to keep his mind occupied.
But sometimes in the quiet moments he spared a thought or two to his not-a-hook-up. And when he did he guessed he got this look. Lovelorn is what Danneel called it. She had a tendency towards the dramatic when it came to anything romance related. Jensen mostly just hoped he was okay. And at any rate he’s pretty sure White Knights do not try and fuck their damsels when they are in distress. Danneel had just rolled her eyes at him for that one.
“Didn’t think I’d be hearing from you,” he’d known at the time it was a long shot, he still wasn’t even really sure why he had given Jared his card like that, it was a dumb spur of the moment thing, but here they were.
“Well you said if I wanted to talk right?” said with the hint of a nervous huff.
“Right.” Is what Jensen said.
“You’re not busy are you?” Jared asked but he didn’t even give Jensen a chance to say anything, and he did huff this time, “This was stupid, maybe I should just-”
“No,” Jensen said a little too quickly and he cleared his throat, “I mean. I have time to talk.”
“Good.”
“So what’s up?”
“Well you know I was just sitting, staring at my really crappy coffee table and your card was right there, figured I should give you a call, see if you could save me a trip to Ikea.”
Jensen snorted, “For real? Or is that your lame attempt at an opening gambit?”
“Well I want to know what I’m getting into here, I mean you say you can make what I want, but I think the real question is can you flat pack it?”
Teasing it was then. And Jensen could take it. But still. He had pride in his craft, “Knife to the chest man. The blasphemy alone…-”
“You want to kick my ass huh?”
“Maybe I’ll flat pack it.”
“Touché.”
Jensen shook his head, a huff of a laugh on the back of his breath, “So what do you do?”
“Well I paint.”
“You’re an artist?”
“I try to be,” Jared said, with a shrug Jensen was sure, trying to play it off.
But Jensen saw it for what it really was and he couldn’t help but smile, “No you don’t.”
“No I don’t.”
It wasn’t just what he did it was who he was. What he wants, what he loves. He needed to create. Just like Jensen did. “Passion,” was the reason.
“Guess we can’t escape it.”
---
They talked for at least forty minutes before they realised where the time had gone, they both had other obligations, but before they hung up Jensen had given Jared his cell number and Jensen had smiled when he got Jared’s text just moments after so that he could snag his number too. They mostly text each other at first, calling at least once, maybe twice a week. And they just talked about stuff. Told each other about their day.
Jared liked talking to Jensen. It was easy. Judgement free. And there was no pressure. No eggshells either. No weird sympathy/pity smiles. Just talking. And Jensen was getting pretty good at making him laugh too. Jensen would tell Jared all about his crappy dates. And he understood that Jared wasn’t really ready to just jump back in. Though Jared did in fact end up going on a couple of dates anyway. And one horrifying set up.
He’d had to threaten to never speak to his mother ever again if she ever tried to set him up with anyone else. A hollow threat if there ever was one but he thinks he got through to her well enough to be safe for at least six months.
At some point they’d started meeting each other for a Tuesday coffee and it wasn’t too much longer after that that they met each other’s friends. And they both clearly had very awesome taste in people because everyone just fit, quirks and all. And there were many. Though they would both agree that having Danneel and Genevieve meet was a mistake because the joint evil mastermind-ry? No matter how insistent they were that they used their powers for good. They were up to something. He just knew it.
Jared was feeling better. Normal. Human. He even got to have his confrontation with Charlie. Which almost ended in fisticuffs but Jensen had stepped in between them, Jared come on man he’s not worth it, with his hand firm on Jared’s shoulder and Jared knew he was right. And they were going to leave but then Charlie had to throw one last insult Jared’s way. Jared barely registered the tick in Jensen’s jaw before he turned and just clocked Charlie, knocking him flat on his ass.
Let’s go was all Jensen said with a final glance at Jared’s ex before he walked away and Jared had followed. They were at least a block away before Jensen complained about the pain in his hand. All Jared said was his name but Jensen just shook his head, You heard what he said. And they just stared at each other for about a minute. Jared broke the silence.
“You’ve been holding out on me Ackles. Admit it.”
Jensen’s brow furrowed, “What?”
“You’re a CIA agent masquerading as a custom furniture designer.”
Jensen just snorted at first, very lightly shoving Jared’s shoulder, but then he really couldn’t help but laugh, “Right. And what exactly would my mission be?”
“How the hell should I know? That’s the secret part.”
“Well as long as you have no grand delusions of being a person of interest.”
Jensen had said it with a smirk and Jared smacked his chest playfully, “You wish you could be so interesting.”
“You’re probably right. Now come on, I’m freezing my ass off out here,” Jensen winced as he rubbed over his knuckles gingerly.
“Here,” Jared said quietly taking Jensen’s hand and he wrapped it up in his scarf. And Jensen gave him this look but he never did get to place it because Jensen’s pocket burst into song, and he blinked with a shake of his head before taking the call.
It was Danneel and she insisted that Jensen put her on speaker so that she could talk to them both as they walked. Neither he nor Jensen mentioned Charlie or what had happened just then. Jared figured it wasn’t really his place to say and well no doubt Jensen would tell her all about it later anyway. Just as he would tell Genevieve and Misha.
---
Jensen was standing in front of the full length mirror in Danneel’s bedroom and he flicked his collar up so he could get his tie around while Danneel lay on her bed watching him. She’d given up on the pretence of reading a magazine or whatever years ago in favour of openly ogling. Jensen didn’t have any objections. He could appreciate the appreciation. Plus she knew what made him look his best. As the veto pile next to her would attest. He flipped the silk over for a second time and was just pulling it through to make the knot when she moved in to take over.
Jensen sighed, “You know I can tie my own tie,” but that wasn’t what this was about. She’d been pretty quiet for a while, which meant she was getting ready to lay it on him. She wasn’t one to take best friend duties lightly.
“How can you still say this isn’t a date?” she said with a slap to his shoulders.
“Because, and for the millionth time, it’s not. I’m just helping him out. Friends do that you know.”
“Okay so let me get this straight. The man that you see almost every single day; have to spend at least twenty minutes per day in his company or else talk to him for endless hours on the phone. Who you now tell certain things to before telling me?
“The guy that you are madly in love with and who obviously loves you back just as madly even though you both continue to insist that you are just best buds. Has invited you to a wedding, where you are going to meet his parents and his siblings and his whole extended family. And you are going to quote unquote go as pretend boyfriends?”
Jensen blinked, he was actually pretty impressed she got that all out in one go, but still, “Well I don’t know what to tell you Danni, but Jared isn’t in love with me. Don’t you think I’d know something like that?”
“Right, because you’re so in touch with your own feelings on the matter.”
“I’m not in love with him!”
“You punched his ex-boyfriend to defend his honour.”
“Don’t say it like that. You didn’t hear it. You’d have punched him too.”
“Well of course I would have. You probably would have had to pull me off. But you have greater restraint. You were ready to walk away. You wanted Jared to walk away. You hit him. Because there was a button to push and he pushed it.”
“Danni-”
“I mean come on, sure, you were classy about it. One hit. No name-calling. No spitting-”
“Danni-”
“Just one withering look and you walk away with your head held high.”
“It was still stupid. I shouldn’t-…he could have pressed charges. So damn lucky he didn’t.”
“Well you’ve never been on the receiving end of one of your death stares.”
Jensen sighed.
“You’re giving too much attention to your upstairs brain when you should be listening to this,” she said jabbing him a couple of times with her finger over his heart.
Jensen grabbed her hand pushing it into his chest, fingers curving round the side of it and he let his head drop to hers as his tongue flicked out over his lip, teeth sinking in at the corner as he remembered that first spark. The way Jared had made him feel. How he made him feel. He felt the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Jensen looked into Danneel’s eyes, “Why are you telling me this now?”
“Sweetie, when was the last time you went on a date and you didn’t feel a tingle of excitement about getting to tell Jared how horribly it went? How un-funny the guy was? How boring? How stupid his hair looked? How completely uninterested you were?”
She cupped his cheek and he closed his eyes for a moment as he let it all wash over him -crash was probably more accurate- and he leaned into the touch. There was so much to take in and yet at the same time there were so many things that he now knew he’d known all along. His eyes opened when her hand left his face and she turned down his collar making the last little adjustments to his tie, “What do I do now?”
“You are going to go pick Jared up and be the best boyfriend you can be.”
“You suck so hard.”
Danneel cocked her brow at him, “You should find out how hard he sucks.”
“I hate you,” he said petulantly which earned him a double clap to the cheek.
“You too champ.”
---
For almost the entire morning up until the point he saw Jensen’s car pull up to his building Jared had been bouncing about. He knew it was stupid. Jensen wasn’t his boyfriend, but he was kind of nervous about him meeting his family. Not that he doubted that they would love him. Jensen was a pretty awesome guy. But he needed them to love him. Jensen was important to him.
And of course when he’d asked his best friends if they thought anyone would be able to tell that he and Jensen weren’t really together Genevieve had snorted so hard Jared thought she might have broken something and Misha had almost quite literally fallen over with laughter.
Genevieve shook her head. Jared. You and Jensen are the only people who think that’s true.
Jared had sighed. He didn’t get what was so hard to believe about it. Couldn’t two guys who like guys just be friends without implications?
But as the day stretched out he may have started to have second thoughts. From Jensen’s smile in the car which instantly made him forget why he’d been freaking out in the first place. Or that there was any reason to at all.
To the ease with which Jensen breezed through whichever conversation they were swept up into as they moved around. To the way Jensen stayed within grabbing distance and the way he put his arm around Jared, leaned into him. The way he would take Jared’s hand when he wanted to get his attention or when they needed to move.
The touches that were made when there was no one else to see, like when Jensen squeezed his knee during the ceremony. The lingering glances. Or how Jensen snagged some extra food just for Jared after his momma had warned him about overloading his plate. And Jensen having a dance with his mom when her own boys kicked up a fuss; Jared’s dad had come over and told him how happy he was that Jared had found him.
When it came to the cake, naturally Jared got the frosting on his face and Jensen swiped it off with his fingers and put his middle finger in his mouth to lick it off and Jared claimed his index finger to get the rest. Foreheads touching, Jensen closed his eyes. The drag was slow as Jensen pulled his fingers out of their mouths and he tilted his head just so for a kiss. Jared kissed back, no hesitation, his hand cupping the back of Jensen’s neck as he sucked on Jensen’s lip.
“Do you wanna-?” Jared started, voice low.
“For real-?” Jensen said with a quirk to his brow and a smile on his lips.
Jared clasped Jensen’s hand, with what had to be the biggest dorkiest grin, “Yeah.”
Jensen squeezed Jared’s hand as he leaned back in to kiss him again, “Me too.”
Characters: Jensen/Jared
Rating: R
Medium: Fic
Word Count: 5217
Summary: When Jared met Jensen he was looking for a means to an end but fate had other ideas and of course there's Jensen.
Author's Note: Written for tmn1966 not the story she asked for mind, but the one that decided it wanted to be written back about mid-September *head.desk* anyway I hope that you feel better sweetie, and I will write the other things....eventually, love you ♥
Jensen rolled his cocktail umbrella between his thumb and forefinger. He was bored to say the least and he missed Danneel. She was away on a work related trip and wouldn't be back for at least another few hours. Drinking alone wasn't really something he was given to do. And on the rare occasion he did he usually stuck to beer. But fuck it he preferred the fruity drinks anyway and if Danneel was there he wouldn't even think twice about it. He could glare down anyone who dared look funny in his direction. But it didn't come to that. He was actually thinking of heading upstairs when a guy sat down next to him, but facing out into the room, elbows back on the counter.
"Can I buy you a drink?"
Jensen cocked his brow as he turned his head to get a look at him. Dude was all lines and muscle: strong. And that jaw line. Jensen didn't normally go for guys with long hair, but there was something about this one. His eyes were watching Jensen's. Jensen's tongue swept across his lower lip and he smirked as he picked up his glass to finish off his drink, "Yeah, sure."
Guy picks up the glass after Jensen set it down, "Two please."
And that was it. They started talking but they both already knew where it was going. Guy couldn't stop touching Jensen, leaning into him as they exchanged words. He was good. Knew how to make Jensen feel good, to make Jensen trust him. Jensen knows they're moves, but guy's hand was stroking his inner thigh and Jensen really wanted to get laid.
When Jensen told the guy he lived upstairs the foreplay was definitely over. They were up there faster than something that it doesn't take all that long to say. And they crashed down the hallway towards Jensen's room, knocking into the side table -where he and Danneel liked to keep their keys- on their way. Unable to keep their mouths off each other. Hands roamed. Grabbed. Pulled. Caressed. They curved off their trajectory. And they stopped smack in the middle of the living room.
Guy dropped to his knees, he got Jensen's zipper down and his nose pressed in against the warmth of Jensen's length over the soft cotton of his boxer briefs when all of a sudden he just wailed. Like for real, honest to god howling. Guy's shoulders quaked, and Jensen froze for a moment as the man before him sobbed into his crotch.
Shit!
Jensen didn't know what to do. And he didn't know what to do with his hands. He was half tempted to touch the guy's head, or maybe pat his shoulder? Talk about awkward. But they couldn't just stay like this. Jensen scratched the back of his neck and then cleared his throat, "Uh, uhm," and his lips twitched a little, "Guy, are you," shit, there was nothing he could say that wouldn't make him feel like a complete insensitive jerk, but what was he supposed to do? "Uh I mean are you okay?"
"Fuck, I'm sorry," the guy said as he lifted his head ever so slightly and glanced up at Jensen's face before slumping back onto his heels, "Shit. I'm so sorry. I didn't-, I shouldn't. I mean I thought if maybe-...FUCK!" and the guy's shoulders started up again with the tremor.
"Hey Guy,” and Jensen scrunched his nose at having to use that word again. “Take it easy, no one's going to do anything here that they don't want," I mean sure it kind of stung and Jensen's ego had definitely taken a hit but...
"Jared."
How had they gotten here?
"Sorry what?"
"My name is Jared."
"Jensen," he said, teeth sinking into his lip, "Uh Jared, you mind if maybe we move this over to the couch, I'd kind of like to zip back up now."
"Right. Shit. Sorry." Jared scrambled to his feet and took a seat, keeping his eyes averted as Jensen sorted himself, and Jensen kept his back turned, pinching the bridge of his nose he took a deep breath before he looked at Jared again.
"Yeah. You mentioned that," the guy, Jared, was still sniffling, "And I don't want to breach boundaries here, granted you just had your face in my crotch," and Jensen really didn't want to set him off again, "but you gotta tell me."
Jared nodded, eyes still glued to the floor, "My boyfriend just left me. He cheated. Or I think he cheated. I came home the other night and all his stuff was just gone," Jensen's heart kind of broke for him, he got the distinct feeling from Jared's level of devastation that this was a zero warning kind of deal, "And I thought that maybe if I could just- I thought," Jared shook his head bringing his head up and his chin quivered as he just barely managed to look Jensen in the eye, "I don't know what I thought, I just wanted it to stop hurting."
"And hooking up with a complete stranger was the answer?" Jensen hadn't really meant to say it like that, it just sort of came out.
"I know," Jared said heavily, almost choked on the utterance actually, "Shit. I'm sorry. I should probably just go," and he got up, backed up towards the door.
"Wait," Jensen held up his hands, open palms, "Stop. Look man, I don't know how you got here," and he shook his head, "Not important. But you are in no shape to be going anywhere," he didn't like where Jared's head was at and he knew that he'd been drinking, "And god help me I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you walk out that door right now. So just take a seat, or take my bed and sleep it off."
"I can't take your bed-"
"Please, you'd be doing me a favour. Just take the bed, I can use my roommate's room, it's fine-"
"You'll really let me stay?"
"Looks like," Jensen said with a small smile and once Jared came back towards the centre of the room Jensen let out a breath he hadn't even known he'd been holding. He got Jared set up, gave him a bottle of water, showed him to his room and where the bathroom was and bid him good night.
He'd thought he'd be able to sleep easier knowing that Jared wasn't out all alone where he could possibly hurt himself like for instance if he were to get behind a wheel, but apparently knowing that Jared was safe wasn't enough for his brain to shut up about him. So much so he'd almost completely forgotten that Danneel was coming back tonight until she opened her door and walked right in closing it behind her.
In lieu of any kind of greeting she got straight to the point, "There's a strange man in your bed and you're not in there with him," it was her way, "What happened?"
"Nothing," Jensen said with a barely there shrug of his shoulders and he kept his eyes downcast, not that that would deter her.
"Nothing?" she repeated. Jensen didn't say anything, he knew she wouldn't let him get away with it, he could feel the concern rolling off her in waves, "Tell me you did not meet him at the bar."
"Danni-"
"When we moved in here we promised we wouldn't hook up with anyone downstairs. What if he's dangerous?"
That almost made him laugh, but he didn't, he didn't know the guy, sure, but he had to trust his gut, there'd been a spark of something before they left the bar, and Jared just didn't seem like the dangerous type, "He's harmless. He's just kind of a mess right now."
But his best friend needed a little more convincing if that look on her face was anything to go by, "And that's supposed to make me feel better because?"
"His boyfriend walked out on him."
"Someone walked out on that guy?"
Jensen nodded and then something occurred to him, "You went to my room first?"
Danneel just gave him a well yeah duh look, "Don't pretend like we wouldn't be having this conversation if I'd come here first."
True. Not that they’d never shared a bed but it wasn’t exactly a regular occurrence, there were usually reasons, circumstances, he just wasn’t so sure what they were right now, aside from the obvious, "Well maybe I just missed you."
"That hurts Ackles." that he'd potentially use the words just as a cover. But he wouldn't.
He pulled her down onto the bed, "You know I did," and he kissed the top of her head as she rolled into his side.
"Mutual."
And for a fraction of a second he almost believed he'd gotten away with it until...
"Wait. Details. You know details? How do you know the boyfriend thing? What happened?"
Jensen thumped his head back into his pillow and dragged his hand down his face. Normally they told each other everything, "When we were...When he was....He-, he uh kind of broke down."
"Broke down?"
"Danni come on," but normally the guy up for discussion wasn't still in the building, "Can't we play twenty questions when it's just us?"
"It is just us!"
Jensen sighed. Danneel gently clapped her hand against his cheek twice, "You brought home a stray injured puppy. And you didn't even get to lick his wounds."
Jensen made that why god why whiny noise and then pleaded, "Can we sleep now?"
"Okay. But you do realise he's still going to be here in the morning."
"I know." Another round of awkward to look forward to no doubt.
---
When Jared woke the following morning to a strange bed, in a room he didn't know, it was with a jolt and the worst hangover you could possibly imagine. The ache in his head was very loud and punchy in letting itself be known. He pushed himself up and to the edge of the bed, his feet touching down to the floor and he hunched over. The base of his palm pressed firmly into his brow. Fuck. Bits and pieces started to come back to him. He'd almost had a one night stand up until he'd started balling his eyes out into the guy's, Jensen's, dick. Fuck.
How was he supposed to face him now? And Christ morning afters were always at least somewhat semi-embarrassing, but this? Was it too much to ask that Jensen still be asleep so that he and his shame could just sneak out the door unseen and if there was a god unheard from ever again? Jared sighed punching his fist against his head. Could he really be so rude?
But he didn't get to find out. The decision was taken out of his hands by a light rap on the door.
Jensen opened the door and cleared his throat and then worried his lip a little, shaking his head, "So. How are you feeling?" which gave Jared the impression that that wasn't what he meant to say at all.
But there it was.
How did he feel?
Better didn't really feel true. Was he as emotionally distraught as he had been last night? Probably. But he had to say something. He shrugged and his mouth opened but Jensen cut him off, "Sorry. Stupid question. But are you-"
And Jensen left it hanging like that, but Jared got what he meant regardless of whether either of them could put a label on it, "Yeah."
Jensen gave a small nod, "Just wanted to give you a heads up. My roommate, Danneel, is home, and she's requested pancakes so if you uh wanted to stay for breakfast-"
But Jensen didn't get to finish, a very beautiful red head stuck her head round the door, arch to her brow, "Your roommate? Is that how you're introducing me now? And here I thought we were friends."
"Best," they said together, exchanging a look, which made Jared smile for a fraction of a second.
But he didn't know about breakfast, hell he didn't know how he was functioning as well as he was right now, and there was the whole daunting prospect of making conversation, and you know, "I don't want to impose... any more than I already have."
Danneel scoffed, waving it off, "Non-sense. You're staying. Besides. Jensen makes the best pancakes."
Jared looked between the two of them.
"Not that she's biased or anything."
"It's not biased when it's the truth."
And he had one thing crystal clear, Danneel wasn't going to let him leave without sustenance, "Alright. I'm in."
And when it actually came down to it and he was sitting at their breakfast bar while they moved about the kitchen and living area. It wasn't anywhere near as bad as he might have thought it could be. In fact it was kind of quiet, but not in that awkward way. But in the comfort of two people who had shared their space for years and knew all the little quirks. And somehow they managed to not make Jared feel like he was an alien invading. Extra triple brownie points. And the pancakes were pretty amazing, you know, of the forkfuls he actually got down.
They chatted of course, mostly about Danneel's trip, which Jared was grateful for. There was the odd question directed at him but nothing too probing. And then it was time to go. Jensen was dropping Danneel off at her yoga class and he insisted upon giving Jared a lift home. And it wasn't until Danneel closed the car door behind her that tension crept back into his muscles and he gave Jensen a nervous smile.
"Really man you don't have to do this, I can just get out here."
"Sure," Jensen said with a shrug, "I mean if that's what you want. Not gonna hold you against your will. But if this is about me well it's nothing off my back. S'no big deal. But-"
"But it is a big deal," Jared cut across Jensen, he was almost incensed about it; he didn't really have the energy for it, but mostly he was just in disbelief, "D'you know how many other guys would have just bounced me on my ass? And you-..." that Jensen could be so kind, emotion rose from his chest, "I've already taken too much."
Jensen just gave him a smile that let him know he heard him, "But," he said as if Jared hadn't interrupted him, "If it's about not wanting to go back yet- I can drop you off somewhere else. Maybe with a friend?"
Did Jared want to go back to his own place? To their place? All Charlie's stuff was already gone. The only trace he'd left behind were some photos of the two of them together. Smiles and laughter mocking him from every frame. But he didn't know if he was quite ready to face Genevieve yet. He hadn't dared turn on his phone. She was going to kill him.
In the end he gave Jensen the directions to Misha's. Misha would let him be without too much prodding. And he'd take care of the letting Genevieve know that he was in fact still alive. He wasn't well. He knew that. Didn't make it any easier. After they arrived and Jensen had killed the engine Jared didn't move, so they just sat for a moment. He was going to move. But he didn't feel like breaking down all over again. All it would take was a look from his friend.
Jensen broke the silence, "Okay, you clearly already think I'm crazy so while I'm on a roll here, take my number, you ever want to talk..." and he shrugged a little bit as he offered Jared his business card.
Jared took it and tucked it into the palm of his hand, "Thanks," and he exhaled as he opened the door up, the for everything going unsaid though the weight of it rested heavily behind his eyes as he looked back at Jensen.
"Take care Jared."
And Jared got out of the car, "You too."
---
Jensen had just been finishing up the paperwork on his last sale. There was always something just that much more satisfying about creating something for a family home. That the piece would weather with them through life and love. That it would be used for its purpose and not left in a corner for vanity. But alas vanity was what kept his doors open. And it didn’t lack for admiration. Just meant something different.
When he got the call, he rattled off his standard greeting with an appropriate amount of professional pleasantry and then he heard that voice.
“Jensen?”
Jared.
How could he forget?
It had been just about a month since their encounter and it wasn’t that Jensen had stopped thinking about Jared it was just that he had plenty of other things going on in his life to keep his mind occupied.
But sometimes in the quiet moments he spared a thought or two to his not-a-hook-up. And when he did he guessed he got this look. Lovelorn is what Danneel called it. She had a tendency towards the dramatic when it came to anything romance related. Jensen mostly just hoped he was okay. And at any rate he’s pretty sure White Knights do not try and fuck their damsels when they are in distress. Danneel had just rolled her eyes at him for that one.
“Didn’t think I’d be hearing from you,” he’d known at the time it was a long shot, he still wasn’t even really sure why he had given Jared his card like that, it was a dumb spur of the moment thing, but here they were.
“Well you said if I wanted to talk right?” said with the hint of a nervous huff.
“Right.” Is what Jensen said.
“You’re not busy are you?” Jared asked but he didn’t even give Jensen a chance to say anything, and he did huff this time, “This was stupid, maybe I should just-”
“No,” Jensen said a little too quickly and he cleared his throat, “I mean. I have time to talk.”
“Good.”
“So what’s up?”
“Well you know I was just sitting, staring at my really crappy coffee table and your card was right there, figured I should give you a call, see if you could save me a trip to Ikea.”
Jensen snorted, “For real? Or is that your lame attempt at an opening gambit?”
“Well I want to know what I’m getting into here, I mean you say you can make what I want, but I think the real question is can you flat pack it?”
Teasing it was then. And Jensen could take it. But still. He had pride in his craft, “Knife to the chest man. The blasphemy alone…-”
“You want to kick my ass huh?”
“Maybe I’ll flat pack it.”
“Touché.”
Jensen shook his head, a huff of a laugh on the back of his breath, “So what do you do?”
“Well I paint.”
“You’re an artist?”
“I try to be,” Jared said, with a shrug Jensen was sure, trying to play it off.
But Jensen saw it for what it really was and he couldn’t help but smile, “No you don’t.”
“No I don’t.”
It wasn’t just what he did it was who he was. What he wants, what he loves. He needed to create. Just like Jensen did. “Passion,” was the reason.
“Guess we can’t escape it.”
---
They talked for at least forty minutes before they realised where the time had gone, they both had other obligations, but before they hung up Jensen had given Jared his cell number and Jensen had smiled when he got Jared’s text just moments after so that he could snag his number too. They mostly text each other at first, calling at least once, maybe twice a week. And they just talked about stuff. Told each other about their day.
Jared liked talking to Jensen. It was easy. Judgement free. And there was no pressure. No eggshells either. No weird sympathy/pity smiles. Just talking. And Jensen was getting pretty good at making him laugh too. Jensen would tell Jared all about his crappy dates. And he understood that Jared wasn’t really ready to just jump back in. Though Jared did in fact end up going on a couple of dates anyway. And one horrifying set up.
He’d had to threaten to never speak to his mother ever again if she ever tried to set him up with anyone else. A hollow threat if there ever was one but he thinks he got through to her well enough to be safe for at least six months.
At some point they’d started meeting each other for a Tuesday coffee and it wasn’t too much longer after that that they met each other’s friends. And they both clearly had very awesome taste in people because everyone just fit, quirks and all. And there were many. Though they would both agree that having Danneel and Genevieve meet was a mistake because the joint evil mastermind-ry? No matter how insistent they were that they used their powers for good. They were up to something. He just knew it.
Jared was feeling better. Normal. Human. He even got to have his confrontation with Charlie. Which almost ended in fisticuffs but Jensen had stepped in between them, Jared come on man he’s not worth it, with his hand firm on Jared’s shoulder and Jared knew he was right. And they were going to leave but then Charlie had to throw one last insult Jared’s way. Jared barely registered the tick in Jensen’s jaw before he turned and just clocked Charlie, knocking him flat on his ass.
Let’s go was all Jensen said with a final glance at Jared’s ex before he walked away and Jared had followed. They were at least a block away before Jensen complained about the pain in his hand. All Jared said was his name but Jensen just shook his head, You heard what he said. And they just stared at each other for about a minute. Jared broke the silence.
“You’ve been holding out on me Ackles. Admit it.”
Jensen’s brow furrowed, “What?”
“You’re a CIA agent masquerading as a custom furniture designer.”
Jensen just snorted at first, very lightly shoving Jared’s shoulder, but then he really couldn’t help but laugh, “Right. And what exactly would my mission be?”
“How the hell should I know? That’s the secret part.”
“Well as long as you have no grand delusions of being a person of interest.”
Jensen had said it with a smirk and Jared smacked his chest playfully, “You wish you could be so interesting.”
“You’re probably right. Now come on, I’m freezing my ass off out here,” Jensen winced as he rubbed over his knuckles gingerly.
“Here,” Jared said quietly taking Jensen’s hand and he wrapped it up in his scarf. And Jensen gave him this look but he never did get to place it because Jensen’s pocket burst into song, and he blinked with a shake of his head before taking the call.
It was Danneel and she insisted that Jensen put her on speaker so that she could talk to them both as they walked. Neither he nor Jensen mentioned Charlie or what had happened just then. Jared figured it wasn’t really his place to say and well no doubt Jensen would tell her all about it later anyway. Just as he would tell Genevieve and Misha.
---
Jensen was standing in front of the full length mirror in Danneel’s bedroom and he flicked his collar up so he could get his tie around while Danneel lay on her bed watching him. She’d given up on the pretence of reading a magazine or whatever years ago in favour of openly ogling. Jensen didn’t have any objections. He could appreciate the appreciation. Plus she knew what made him look his best. As the veto pile next to her would attest. He flipped the silk over for a second time and was just pulling it through to make the knot when she moved in to take over.
Jensen sighed, “You know I can tie my own tie,” but that wasn’t what this was about. She’d been pretty quiet for a while, which meant she was getting ready to lay it on him. She wasn’t one to take best friend duties lightly.
“How can you still say this isn’t a date?” she said with a slap to his shoulders.
“Because, and for the millionth time, it’s not. I’m just helping him out. Friends do that you know.”
“Okay so let me get this straight. The man that you see almost every single day; have to spend at least twenty minutes per day in his company or else talk to him for endless hours on the phone. Who you now tell certain things to before telling me?
“The guy that you are madly in love with and who obviously loves you back just as madly even though you both continue to insist that you are just best buds. Has invited you to a wedding, where you are going to meet his parents and his siblings and his whole extended family. And you are going to quote unquote go as pretend boyfriends?”
Jensen blinked, he was actually pretty impressed she got that all out in one go, but still, “Well I don’t know what to tell you Danni, but Jared isn’t in love with me. Don’t you think I’d know something like that?”
“Right, because you’re so in touch with your own feelings on the matter.”
“I’m not in love with him!”
“You punched his ex-boyfriend to defend his honour.”
“Don’t say it like that. You didn’t hear it. You’d have punched him too.”
“Well of course I would have. You probably would have had to pull me off. But you have greater restraint. You were ready to walk away. You wanted Jared to walk away. You hit him. Because there was a button to push and he pushed it.”
“Danni-”
“I mean come on, sure, you were classy about it. One hit. No name-calling. No spitting-”
“Danni-”
“Just one withering look and you walk away with your head held high.”
“It was still stupid. I shouldn’t-…he could have pressed charges. So damn lucky he didn’t.”
“Well you’ve never been on the receiving end of one of your death stares.”
Jensen sighed.
“You’re giving too much attention to your upstairs brain when you should be listening to this,” she said jabbing him a couple of times with her finger over his heart.
Jensen grabbed her hand pushing it into his chest, fingers curving round the side of it and he let his head drop to hers as his tongue flicked out over his lip, teeth sinking in at the corner as he remembered that first spark. The way Jared had made him feel. How he made him feel. He felt the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Jensen looked into Danneel’s eyes, “Why are you telling me this now?”
“Sweetie, when was the last time you went on a date and you didn’t feel a tingle of excitement about getting to tell Jared how horribly it went? How un-funny the guy was? How boring? How stupid his hair looked? How completely uninterested you were?”
She cupped his cheek and he closed his eyes for a moment as he let it all wash over him -crash was probably more accurate- and he leaned into the touch. There was so much to take in and yet at the same time there were so many things that he now knew he’d known all along. His eyes opened when her hand left his face and she turned down his collar making the last little adjustments to his tie, “What do I do now?”
“You are going to go pick Jared up and be the best boyfriend you can be.”
“You suck so hard.”
Danneel cocked her brow at him, “You should find out how hard he sucks.”
“I hate you,” he said petulantly which earned him a double clap to the cheek.
“You too champ.”
---
For almost the entire morning up until the point he saw Jensen’s car pull up to his building Jared had been bouncing about. He knew it was stupid. Jensen wasn’t his boyfriend, but he was kind of nervous about him meeting his family. Not that he doubted that they would love him. Jensen was a pretty awesome guy. But he needed them to love him. Jensen was important to him.
And of course when he’d asked his best friends if they thought anyone would be able to tell that he and Jensen weren’t really together Genevieve had snorted so hard Jared thought she might have broken something and Misha had almost quite literally fallen over with laughter.
Genevieve shook her head. Jared. You and Jensen are the only people who think that’s true.
Jared had sighed. He didn’t get what was so hard to believe about it. Couldn’t two guys who like guys just be friends without implications?
But as the day stretched out he may have started to have second thoughts. From Jensen’s smile in the car which instantly made him forget why he’d been freaking out in the first place. Or that there was any reason to at all.
To the ease with which Jensen breezed through whichever conversation they were swept up into as they moved around. To the way Jensen stayed within grabbing distance and the way he put his arm around Jared, leaned into him. The way he would take Jared’s hand when he wanted to get his attention or when they needed to move.
The touches that were made when there was no one else to see, like when Jensen squeezed his knee during the ceremony. The lingering glances. Or how Jensen snagged some extra food just for Jared after his momma had warned him about overloading his plate. And Jensen having a dance with his mom when her own boys kicked up a fuss; Jared’s dad had come over and told him how happy he was that Jared had found him.
When it came to the cake, naturally Jared got the frosting on his face and Jensen swiped it off with his fingers and put his middle finger in his mouth to lick it off and Jared claimed his index finger to get the rest. Foreheads touching, Jensen closed his eyes. The drag was slow as Jensen pulled his fingers out of their mouths and he tilted his head just so for a kiss. Jared kissed back, no hesitation, his hand cupping the back of Jensen’s neck as he sucked on Jensen’s lip.
“Do you wanna-?” Jared started, voice low.
“For real-?” Jensen said with a quirk to his brow and a smile on his lips.
Jared clasped Jensen’s hand, with what had to be the biggest dorkiest grin, “Yeah.”
Jensen squeezed Jared’s hand as he leaned back in to kiss him again, “Me too.”