(no subject)
Do you ever think you're crazy?
And I don't mean like in a funny way, or you're kidding around, or that you do something stupid several times over and after a while think "Oh my God, I'm going insane!"
Sometimes I just don't feel... right. And I'm almost positive most people feel like this a lot, and it would only make sense that everyone's a little crazy in their own right.
I tune things out sometimes, I just kinda go into my thoughts and burrow myself in them. That sounds really normal, the way I say it. But it happens so much... and it used to not happen as much as it does now.
I would usually only do it when I was around boring people, or driving in a car, or in the middle of a lesson I've already learned in Math class or something like that. I'd just kinda spew out answers and say things like "Oh yeah, uh-huh" or "Definitely." But it happens soo much now. Not just around things like that, but people I love. I'll be in a serious conversation and I'll just kinda go off, giving generic answers. By the time I realize I'm away I've forgotten what they've said and what I've said, and it's really agitating...
After I got that out it made me seem more normal. Everyone does that. But I don't think it's healthy, even if everyone does do that.
I want to stop doing that, and I've been trying, but... it's almost involuntary. I space out way too much... I'm sure most people reading this already know that.
Maybe it's with everything going on... There's just a lot to think about.
But if I'm not focused on the here and now, am I ever going to be? Am I always going to think about my stupid stories and things that are in the past? I really, really hope not.
I guess I realized it really hit me hard today, my mom and I were talking, and just about everything she said, by the time I remembered I wasn't paying attention, I missed. I missed all of it... I had no idea what she just said to me.
I feel old... Or crazy...
And I don't mean like in a funny way, or you're kidding around, or that you do something stupid several times over and after a while think "Oh my God, I'm going insane!"
Sometimes I just don't feel... right. And I'm almost positive most people feel like this a lot, and it would only make sense that everyone's a little crazy in their own right.
I tune things out sometimes, I just kinda go into my thoughts and burrow myself in them. That sounds really normal, the way I say it. But it happens so much... and it used to not happen as much as it does now.
I would usually only do it when I was around boring people, or driving in a car, or in the middle of a lesson I've already learned in Math class or something like that. I'd just kinda spew out answers and say things like "Oh yeah, uh-huh" or "Definitely." But it happens soo much now. Not just around things like that, but people I love. I'll be in a serious conversation and I'll just kinda go off, giving generic answers. By the time I realize I'm away I've forgotten what they've said and what I've said, and it's really agitating...
After I got that out it made me seem more normal. Everyone does that. But I don't think it's healthy, even if everyone does do that.
I want to stop doing that, and I've been trying, but... it's almost involuntary. I space out way too much... I'm sure most people reading this already know that.
Maybe it's with everything going on... There's just a lot to think about.
But if I'm not focused on the here and now, am I ever going to be? Am I always going to think about my stupid stories and things that are in the past? I really, really hope not.
I guess I realized it really hit me hard today, my mom and I were talking, and just about everything she said, by the time I remembered I wasn't paying attention, I missed. I missed all of it... I had no idea what she just said to me.
I feel old... Or crazy...