It's Complicated...[07/??]
Title: It's Complicated...
Authors:Pati the_popup_book and Hilly hikaruikiru
Pair:Ryan/Josh; Ryan/Brendon; Josh/Hayley
POV:1st person; Ryan forever.
Summary: Ryan has a drunk one night stand which results into a big mess.
Disclaimer:The events depicted in this work are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.
Author's Note:oh wow! This contains Mpreg. All men can have babies. Thank you very much my_life_myway33 for giving me motivation.
Chapter 1|Chapter 2|Chapter 3|Chapter 4|Chapter 5||Chapter 6
Within the next couple of days, I make the used basement my room. I bought a lot of things for it as well. Josh comes down and lies down on the new bed. He looks comfortable.
"I love this bed," he says stretching himself over it.
I idly move around the room moving things into better places.
"Ryan, relax."
"I can't."
Josh stands up and grabs my hand. He pulls me to the bed, and I lie down on it. I take in a deep breath and sigh.
"What's wrong?" Josh asks me.
"It's Brendon. I know he hasn't left his room. It's worrying me and I know it's my fault."
"It's not your fault. Maybe you can go talk to him. Try to smooth out the relationship."
"What are you saying, get back together with him?"
"It's a possibility. You love him."
I bite my lip and then get up thinking he's right. I head upstairs and up to Brendon's room. I don't knock and see Brendon staring at his phone. He then looks at me and his face brightens slightly. He gets up and comes over to me. I give him a hug and move my fingers through his hair. I could feel him start to cry on my chest.
"I'm sorry, Brendon; about the other day."
I help him on to the bed and sit him down and hold him close.
"How are you feeling? How is your stomach?"
"Ryan, I love-"
"Shhh...don't say anything. I know."
It is then that he kisses me, and I really don't know. I kiss him back out of instinct, but I pull away and stand away from him.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"I broke up with you and I know you still have Jack."
"I love you, Ryan."
"I know you do, and I love you too."
"Then why won't you stay with me? If you loved me, you would."
"Because you have Jack. You don't need me as long as you have Jack at your side. I came in here to get you out of this room."
Jack comes into the room and takes note that Brendon is crying. He goes to comfort Brendon.
"Ryan, stop making the situation worse."
"I just don't want him hurting himself or the children. He can be brash."
Brendon pushes Jack away and leaves the room. We both follow him and see him going out. I catch his arm.
"Where are you going?"
"It's not like you give a damn about me. You have Josh to care about."
"Josh isn't my main concern. It's you and it always been. Just calm down, please."
"Brendon, listen to Ryan," Jack say taking my side.
Brendon goes to the couch looking completely defeated. He sits down and the two of us sit down on either side.
"Brendon...I broke up to relieve some stress. It's for the best as well. You and Jack can begin to be open about everything to the public like we used to be. I just think it's better for us all."
"I was happy with the way things were. I liked having your attention."
"You still have it. Tonight, let's go to dinner. Just the two of us."
"Wait a minute-" Jack starts.
"Okay," Brendon says.
"I also want to go through the baby name book to look up names for our girl. We haven't done that."
"We have," Jack says.
"I'm happy for you."
I send him a smile making him feel awkward. Sure, I hate being second, but I have to make sure Brendon is happy.
"Don't forget to dress in your best tonight."
I head down to the basement and spot Josh on the phone.
"I'm in my second trimester already. Have been since last month. I'm only staying here until I have the baby...I want Ryan to be there when I go into labor. Just stop dictating my life. I'm fine here...no, I'm not quitting...whatever. I'll call you later when you're not in this type of mood."
He hangs up and smiles at me.
"How was your talk with Brendon?"
"I'm taking him out to dinner and then we're going to choose a name for the baby."
"I would've thought you'd done that already. You helped me name Owen."
"Does that mean you're not as sick anymore?"
He nods. "And it means that I get hornier as well. I still call the bathroom first thing in the morning."
"Yeah, I know."
I sit down next to him. I look at his eyes and then to his lips. The baby will be a combination of his parents, but I'm hoping he takes more features from Josh.
"What? Why are you staring at me?"
"I was just thinking about how the baby is going to look. I hope he looks more like you than me."
Josh just smiles. "You're really nice Ryan. Everyone says that you have no feelings, but I've seen different since we've been spending more time together."
I look down so I can't be drawn to eyes. I'm attracted to him to sat the least, but I don't want to be so cliche and ask him out. He's going to think I'm trying to be responsible for the child. If the parents are happily together, then the child gets raised better. I don't think that's the deal here. I start to think to my parents. One way or another we'll work this out. I first need to be a good parent to my children first.
"Hey, Ryan...what are you doing?" Josh asks me.
I have him pinned down underneath me. I blink a couple times and then move to get off of him. He stops me by grabbing my wrist.
"Are you okay? You were muttering about something and then you pushed me down."
"I don't know. Things like this have been happening lately, and I feel as though I'm sometimes not even here. I'm doing things unconsciously."
"Maybe you need a therapist."
I shrug. I then start to realize I'm still hovering over him. I get off of him and cover my face with my hands. Of course, I have to blush. After awhile, the two of us head upstairs. Brendon was still there with Jack on the couch. Josh goes to Brendon and smiles.
"Hey you. How are the twins?" Josh asks.
"They're fine," Brendon snap. "What do you want?"
"To be friends of course. We're both expectant mothers."
Brendon turns away from Josh. "I hate you," is all Brendon says.
Josh lets out a sigh and goes to the kitchen. I frown slightly at how mean Brendon is being. And people think he's friendly. That's just bull. He's conniving and evil.
"Can't you at least try to be friends with him?" I ask.
"No...he's after your affection, and I can't stand others taking you away. Jack is different though."
Jack stares at him and then stands and walks out of the room. That's harsh, especially since Jack wants everything from Brendon.
"How is Jack different? You love him," I ask.
Brendon doesn't say anything. I leave the living room and find Josh in the backyard. He is sitting on the swinging bench.
"I think you should give it time," I say to Josh.
"He thinks I'm competition."
"It will pass."
"I am competition."
I want to say something else, but I end up going back inside. Am I really incapable of being single?
Later that night I get a call from Spencer. I haven't talked to him in a couple of days because of all the chaos that has been happening.
"Ryan, you don't sound like you're doing too good. All of this stress can't be good."
"It's not. I swear I am losing my mind."
"What makes you say that?"
"You know how I tried working things out with Brendon, right?"
"Yeah and I don't think you should have."
"Well, during that time, Brendon and I had sex."
"You really don't need to go into details."
"But I do. Well, it didn't start out like that. I just happened to be in the same room while Brendon and Jack decided to have sex. I was pulled into it"
"What? Ryan, why would you do that?"
"I don't know. One minute there I was with Brendon, and the next thing I realized was Jack was fucking himself on my dick. I totally blanked out after that, and when I woke up, I was in the hospital."
"Ryan, how could you?"
"Me? I didn't force myself in that situation. I had no idea what was going on."
"Have you thought about going to a therapist? Have you blanked out again?"
"Yeah, actually. I almost lost control with Josh again."
"You need to go to a therapist. At least talk to one."
"I don't need a shrink."
"You do, Ryan. If you are blanking out under stressful conditions, you need something. Please just talk to one."
"I can't just talk to you? It always helped before."
"I'd rather you talk to a professional."
"Fine. I'll set up an appointment as soon as I can. But I'm sure you'll be glad to hear I am no longer with Brendon. He's upset about it, but I swear I would have made myself crazy if I stayed."
"I'm sure of that, too. So, are you going to hook up with Josh then?"
"Why would you think that?"
"He is carrying your other child, and you aren't one to stay single for long; I know how much you enjoy companionship."
"So I am incapable of staying single."
"Yeah, you are."
"But I'm not just going to force things between me and Josh. If things happen, they happen. I'm not planning it."
"Okay..." Spencer says not believing me. "I'm going to be there tomorrow. I think I spent enough time with Haley for right now. Plus, she's going to go visit some relative. That's actually the real reason I called."
"Okay. I'll tell Brendon. And by the way, Jack and Josh are here."
"Why?"
"Brendon is still with Jack, so he'll probably be here as long as those two are together. And Jack invited Josh. I'm not going to just throw him out. He's keeping me sane at this moment."
"Have you two had sex again?"
"No. We didn't when I went to visit him in Tennessee either."
"Okay. I believe you. I guess I'll be filled in the rest tomorrow. Oh! I talked to Jon and expect him three days from now."
"Okay. See you."
"Bye."
I hang up. There is going to be a lot of people here within a couple of days. Things are about to get really interesting. Because Jon still has to be told all of the drama details that's been going on.
---
"Okay...so what is going on again?" Jon asks for the fourth time.
"Brendon is having twins. The boy is Jack's and the girl is Ryan's. On the other hand, Ryan was the one that got Josh pregnant. Ryan broke up with Brendon due to stress and some sort of trauma and he is going to see a therapist. Right now, Jack and Josh are staying at our home," Spencer explains. He is getting irritated.
"Are you and Josh fucking?" Jon asks me.
"No," I say flatly.
Jon goes inside finally since we kept him outside. We want to make sure there are no surprises. Spencer already knows what I am going through. It is horrible. It is a semi-cold war between Josh and Brendon, and the terrible thing is that I know it's because of me. I find Josh in the basement. He's sitting down seemingly thinking about something.
"Jon is here finally," I tell him.
He just nods and I sit down.
"What wrong?" I ask.
"I dunno. I guess I just feel lonely," Josh replies.
I don't respond after that. I end up just leaving Josh alone. The month persisted on cold wars and therapist visits. I am feeling better because I could tell this person my deepest fears and anxieties. I guess paying someone to listen to you and giving you some sort of advice at the end is good for something. I head home feeling great. I talked about my family and childhood and I know that I had some trauma there. I make it home humming my favorite FOB song. I spot Brendon in the living room and go up to him and sit down with him.
"Hey, how is the baby?"
"Fine."
"That's good. You should be starting the third trimester soon right?"
Brendon nods and leans against me.
"How was the therapist?"
"Great actually. I got a lot of anxieties out, so I feel pretty fucking awesome."
"Awesome enough for me?" he asks me.
I could tell it was a seductive tone. Most of the time I have a hard time resisting Brendon's charm and charisma and now isn't any different. My deep feelings for him are betraying me. He pulls me to the room we used to share and I stop him for a bit after our clothes are removed.
"Where is everyone?" I ask.
"Jack and Jon went to go get the grocery store, and then Jack is going to the baby store to check some things out; Josh and Spin are at the mall. They all will be gone for hours."
He kisses me into the mattress. I feel his weight go over me as he straddles my dick. He slides himself down it and let's out a hiss. I let out a groan as I feel his tightness. He starts to bounce himself on top of me, and I'm having the time of my life. I loved it when he is on top of me. I like being able to look at him. I run my hand up his chest pinch his nipples and then go down past his stomach and start to pump him at his rhythm. We both cum eventually. Brendon gets off of me and kisses me. He relaxes next to me putting his forehead to my own.
"I'll break up with Jack if you go back out with me. I won't ever see him again if that is what you want."
I don't respond, but I know I wanted to say okay.
"You do want that, right?"
"I don't know what I want. You can't just push Jack way so you can be with me."
"Then what, Ryan? I'm at a lost here."
"I don't know. Just forget it. I don't want to get into this when I am still confused about everything going on."
Brendon nods. He doesn't say anything else. He curls up next to me and quickly falls asleep. I sigh heavily and move out of the bed. I get dressed as quick as I can. I go back down stairs. I find Spencer, Jon, and Josh all messing around on their instruments. Jack is in The background listening. They are doing FBR covers. Jack decides to take over for Jon when they start a Cute Aim song.
"Whoa, wait. Why do you think you can just take over like that?" Jon asks.
"Because, these are my songs," Jack replies.
"You were apart of that band for six months."
"I know them better than you. Besides, everyone knows I'm the better bass player."
"I don't know about that. There are at least three people in this house that will say different."
"They don't count. They are in your band. It's a biased vote."
"Just let him play," Josh says. "It is his old band."
"Fine, but Ryan's singing," Jack says.
"What? Why me?" I ask.
"You're the only singer in this room right now."
"But I'm not-"
"You used to be before Brendon."
"Fine. What song?"
"What song do you think everyone knows? Curse of Curves of course."
We all actually have a good time. For once no one is arguing. I even grab an extra guitar laying around and join in on the songs I know best. Josh doesn't mention the fact no one wants to play a Paramore song. I think it's because we really don't know any besides Pressure. Brendon comes down once we get to Fall Out Boy. He notices what we are all doing and smiles a bit. From then on we just let him sing. No one will argue the fact that he has the best voice out of all of us. And it is one of The many things that made me fall for him. I swear his voice is magic. We end this session with a TAI song and all of the instruments get placed to the side.
"So...Brendon, what are your babies' names?" Jon asks.
"Well, Jack and I decided on Jamie Francis and Ryan and I... We haven't came up with her name yet."
"Why? Isn't that a girl name? " Jon asks.
"Jamie is actually a unisex name, and Francis is my middle name," Jack says.
"And Josh, what is your baby's name?"
"Owen Ryan Ross-Farro," he replies.
"So both of the babies are named after their fathers. That's cute. Ryan you have another baby to name. How about you two come up with one tonight?" Jon says.
"That's a good idea. We want a name for our surrogate niece by the end of tonight," Spencer says.
I look up at Brendon. He's also looking at me and he smiles slightly.
"Okay. Come on, Ry. Let's go name our little girl."
I follow him out the back door. We sit on the back porch steps.
"So... First of all, do you want her last name to be Urie or Ross?" he asks.
"Both. My name first so it'd Ross-Urie."
"Then I get to choose the first name."
Brendon and I go through various names. My mind stops on the name Cadence, while Brendon stops on Milia. It was a nice combination. Milia Cadence Ross-Urie. After awhile we start to talk about other things. Brendon brings up this morning.
"I still don't have an answer for you."
Brendon doesn't seem to happy to hear that from me.
"What about this afternoon? Did that really mean nothing to you?"
"Of course not. You mean the world to me, but how do I know if I can trust you? You could easily do this again and try to fuck me over."
"I promise it won't happen. Like I said, I'll stop all communication with Jack if you come back to me."
I think for a bit, trying to figure out the best solution. Would it be okay if I went back to Brendon?
"I...I wouldn't restrict you from seeing Jack since you have his child. Just stop having an intimate relationship."
"Okay. I'll stop. I'll do anything for you. I won't tell you to not see Josh either."
"Okay."
I lean into kiss him, hoping things would still be okay, even after this. We go back inside and spot Josh and Jack speaking to each other. Jon and Spencer aren't in the room anymore. I give Brendon the look. I wanted him to go talk to Jack as soon as possible. He seemed reluctant to but eventually he pulls him to a different room. Josh looks at me weirdly.
"What going on?"
I let out a breath. "Brendon is going to break it off with him for me since I'm willing to try again."
Josh doesn't seem to happy about what I had just said. He did after all say that he is competition, which would mean that he likes me. I kind of liked him back, but Brendon is still a lingering love and I don't think I could ever get over.
"I'm going to go home and have the baby in Tennessee. My family is there and it's easier to get support from them."
"Why are you going back?"
"Because I like you. I've liked you for a good while now, but you're so obviously stupid to not recognize it. All you ever care about is Brendon. When are you actually going to care about me? I thought I was helping you. I thought I was keeping you sane. I'm carrying your baby and at least I'm not a whore like Brendon."
I slap his face. He couldn't say anything bad about Brendon. I look at his face and my anger suddenly turns into regret. How could I do that to him?
"I'm leaving right now."
"Don't. I'm so sorry. I-"
"Don't pretend to give a rats ass about me. I'm not Brendon if you don't remember. I thought you were something different, but it's obvious that you're just a cold-hearted bastard."
Josh leaves the room. I get up to try follow him, but I run into Brendon. He looked a little defeated as he clings to me.
"I did it Ryan. I broke it off completely with Jack."
"How did he take it?" I ask.
Brendon shrugs. "He'll be fine. I know he's mad at me, but there's not much I can do about that."
"I'm happy though. It makes me very happy that you still want to make things work between us."
I hold Brendon in a comfortable embrace. I know a part of him still loves Jack, but hopefully that part will just fade into the kind of respect one has for a friend.
Authors:Pati the_popup_book and Hilly hikaruikiru
Pair:Ryan/Josh; Ryan/Brendon; Josh/Hayley
POV:1st person; Ryan forever.
Summary: Ryan has a drunk one night stand which results into a big mess.
Disclaimer:The events depicted in this work are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.
Author's Note:oh wow! This contains Mpreg. All men can have babies. Thank you very much my_life_myway33 for giving me motivation.
Chapter 1|Chapter 2|Chapter 3|Chapter 4|Chapter 5||Chapter 6
Within the next couple of days, I make the used basement my room. I bought a lot of things for it as well. Josh comes down and lies down on the new bed. He looks comfortable.
"I love this bed," he says stretching himself over it.
I idly move around the room moving things into better places.
"Ryan, relax."
"I can't."
Josh stands up and grabs my hand. He pulls me to the bed, and I lie down on it. I take in a deep breath and sigh.
"What's wrong?" Josh asks me.
"It's Brendon. I know he hasn't left his room. It's worrying me and I know it's my fault."
"It's not your fault. Maybe you can go talk to him. Try to smooth out the relationship."
"What are you saying, get back together with him?"
"It's a possibility. You love him."
I bite my lip and then get up thinking he's right. I head upstairs and up to Brendon's room. I don't knock and see Brendon staring at his phone. He then looks at me and his face brightens slightly. He gets up and comes over to me. I give him a hug and move my fingers through his hair. I could feel him start to cry on my chest.
"I'm sorry, Brendon; about the other day."
I help him on to the bed and sit him down and hold him close.
"How are you feeling? How is your stomach?"
"Ryan, I love-"
"Shhh...don't say anything. I know."
It is then that he kisses me, and I really don't know. I kiss him back out of instinct, but I pull away and stand away from him.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"I broke up with you and I know you still have Jack."
"I love you, Ryan."
"I know you do, and I love you too."
"Then why won't you stay with me? If you loved me, you would."
"Because you have Jack. You don't need me as long as you have Jack at your side. I came in here to get you out of this room."
Jack comes into the room and takes note that Brendon is crying. He goes to comfort Brendon.
"Ryan, stop making the situation worse."
"I just don't want him hurting himself or the children. He can be brash."
Brendon pushes Jack away and leaves the room. We both follow him and see him going out. I catch his arm.
"Where are you going?"
"It's not like you give a damn about me. You have Josh to care about."
"Josh isn't my main concern. It's you and it always been. Just calm down, please."
"Brendon, listen to Ryan," Jack say taking my side.
Brendon goes to the couch looking completely defeated. He sits down and the two of us sit down on either side.
"Brendon...I broke up to relieve some stress. It's for the best as well. You and Jack can begin to be open about everything to the public like we used to be. I just think it's better for us all."
"I was happy with the way things were. I liked having your attention."
"You still have it. Tonight, let's go to dinner. Just the two of us."
"Wait a minute-" Jack starts.
"Okay," Brendon says.
"I also want to go through the baby name book to look up names for our girl. We haven't done that."
"We have," Jack says.
"I'm happy for you."
I send him a smile making him feel awkward. Sure, I hate being second, but I have to make sure Brendon is happy.
"Don't forget to dress in your best tonight."
I head down to the basement and spot Josh on the phone.
"I'm in my second trimester already. Have been since last month. I'm only staying here until I have the baby...I want Ryan to be there when I go into labor. Just stop dictating my life. I'm fine here...no, I'm not quitting...whatever. I'll call you later when you're not in this type of mood."
He hangs up and smiles at me.
"How was your talk with Brendon?"
"I'm taking him out to dinner and then we're going to choose a name for the baby."
"I would've thought you'd done that already. You helped me name Owen."
"Does that mean you're not as sick anymore?"
He nods. "And it means that I get hornier as well. I still call the bathroom first thing in the morning."
"Yeah, I know."
I sit down next to him. I look at his eyes and then to his lips. The baby will be a combination of his parents, but I'm hoping he takes more features from Josh.
"What? Why are you staring at me?"
"I was just thinking about how the baby is going to look. I hope he looks more like you than me."
Josh just smiles. "You're really nice Ryan. Everyone says that you have no feelings, but I've seen different since we've been spending more time together."
I look down so I can't be drawn to eyes. I'm attracted to him to sat the least, but I don't want to be so cliche and ask him out. He's going to think I'm trying to be responsible for the child. If the parents are happily together, then the child gets raised better. I don't think that's the deal here. I start to think to my parents. One way or another we'll work this out. I first need to be a good parent to my children first.
"Hey, Ryan...what are you doing?" Josh asks me.
I have him pinned down underneath me. I blink a couple times and then move to get off of him. He stops me by grabbing my wrist.
"Are you okay? You were muttering about something and then you pushed me down."
"I don't know. Things like this have been happening lately, and I feel as though I'm sometimes not even here. I'm doing things unconsciously."
"Maybe you need a therapist."
I shrug. I then start to realize I'm still hovering over him. I get off of him and cover my face with my hands. Of course, I have to blush. After awhile, the two of us head upstairs. Brendon was still there with Jack on the couch. Josh goes to Brendon and smiles.
"Hey you. How are the twins?" Josh asks.
"They're fine," Brendon snap. "What do you want?"
"To be friends of course. We're both expectant mothers."
Brendon turns away from Josh. "I hate you," is all Brendon says.
Josh lets out a sigh and goes to the kitchen. I frown slightly at how mean Brendon is being. And people think he's friendly. That's just bull. He's conniving and evil.
"Can't you at least try to be friends with him?" I ask.
"No...he's after your affection, and I can't stand others taking you away. Jack is different though."
Jack stares at him and then stands and walks out of the room. That's harsh, especially since Jack wants everything from Brendon.
"How is Jack different? You love him," I ask.
Brendon doesn't say anything. I leave the living room and find Josh in the backyard. He is sitting on the swinging bench.
"I think you should give it time," I say to Josh.
"He thinks I'm competition."
"It will pass."
"I am competition."
I want to say something else, but I end up going back inside. Am I really incapable of being single?
Later that night I get a call from Spencer. I haven't talked to him in a couple of days because of all the chaos that has been happening.
"Ryan, you don't sound like you're doing too good. All of this stress can't be good."
"It's not. I swear I am losing my mind."
"What makes you say that?"
"You know how I tried working things out with Brendon, right?"
"Yeah and I don't think you should have."
"Well, during that time, Brendon and I had sex."
"You really don't need to go into details."
"But I do. Well, it didn't start out like that. I just happened to be in the same room while Brendon and Jack decided to have sex. I was pulled into it"
"What? Ryan, why would you do that?"
"I don't know. One minute there I was with Brendon, and the next thing I realized was Jack was fucking himself on my dick. I totally blanked out after that, and when I woke up, I was in the hospital."
"Ryan, how could you?"
"Me? I didn't force myself in that situation. I had no idea what was going on."
"Have you thought about going to a therapist? Have you blanked out again?"
"Yeah, actually. I almost lost control with Josh again."
"You need to go to a therapist. At least talk to one."
"I don't need a shrink."
"You do, Ryan. If you are blanking out under stressful conditions, you need something. Please just talk to one."
"I can't just talk to you? It always helped before."
"I'd rather you talk to a professional."
"Fine. I'll set up an appointment as soon as I can. But I'm sure you'll be glad to hear I am no longer with Brendon. He's upset about it, but I swear I would have made myself crazy if I stayed."
"I'm sure of that, too. So, are you going to hook up with Josh then?"
"Why would you think that?"
"He is carrying your other child, and you aren't one to stay single for long; I know how much you enjoy companionship."
"So I am incapable of staying single."
"Yeah, you are."
"But I'm not just going to force things between me and Josh. If things happen, they happen. I'm not planning it."
"Okay..." Spencer says not believing me. "I'm going to be there tomorrow. I think I spent enough time with Haley for right now. Plus, she's going to go visit some relative. That's actually the real reason I called."
"Okay. I'll tell Brendon. And by the way, Jack and Josh are here."
"Why?"
"Brendon is still with Jack, so he'll probably be here as long as those two are together. And Jack invited Josh. I'm not going to just throw him out. He's keeping me sane at this moment."
"Have you two had sex again?"
"No. We didn't when I went to visit him in Tennessee either."
"Okay. I believe you. I guess I'll be filled in the rest tomorrow. Oh! I talked to Jon and expect him three days from now."
"Okay. See you."
"Bye."
I hang up. There is going to be a lot of people here within a couple of days. Things are about to get really interesting. Because Jon still has to be told all of the drama details that's been going on.
---
"Okay...so what is going on again?" Jon asks for the fourth time.
"Brendon is having twins. The boy is Jack's and the girl is Ryan's. On the other hand, Ryan was the one that got Josh pregnant. Ryan broke up with Brendon due to stress and some sort of trauma and he is going to see a therapist. Right now, Jack and Josh are staying at our home," Spencer explains. He is getting irritated.
"Are you and Josh fucking?" Jon asks me.
"No," I say flatly.
Jon goes inside finally since we kept him outside. We want to make sure there are no surprises. Spencer already knows what I am going through. It is horrible. It is a semi-cold war between Josh and Brendon, and the terrible thing is that I know it's because of me. I find Josh in the basement. He's sitting down seemingly thinking about something.
"Jon is here finally," I tell him.
He just nods and I sit down.
"What wrong?" I ask.
"I dunno. I guess I just feel lonely," Josh replies.
I don't respond after that. I end up just leaving Josh alone. The month persisted on cold wars and therapist visits. I am feeling better because I could tell this person my deepest fears and anxieties. I guess paying someone to listen to you and giving you some sort of advice at the end is good for something. I head home feeling great. I talked about my family and childhood and I know that I had some trauma there. I make it home humming my favorite FOB song. I spot Brendon in the living room and go up to him and sit down with him.
"Hey, how is the baby?"
"Fine."
"That's good. You should be starting the third trimester soon right?"
Brendon nods and leans against me.
"How was the therapist?"
"Great actually. I got a lot of anxieties out, so I feel pretty fucking awesome."
"Awesome enough for me?" he asks me.
I could tell it was a seductive tone. Most of the time I have a hard time resisting Brendon's charm and charisma and now isn't any different. My deep feelings for him are betraying me. He pulls me to the room we used to share and I stop him for a bit after our clothes are removed.
"Where is everyone?" I ask.
"Jack and Jon went to go get the grocery store, and then Jack is going to the baby store to check some things out; Josh and Spin are at the mall. They all will be gone for hours."
He kisses me into the mattress. I feel his weight go over me as he straddles my dick. He slides himself down it and let's out a hiss. I let out a groan as I feel his tightness. He starts to bounce himself on top of me, and I'm having the time of my life. I loved it when he is on top of me. I like being able to look at him. I run my hand up his chest pinch his nipples and then go down past his stomach and start to pump him at his rhythm. We both cum eventually. Brendon gets off of me and kisses me. He relaxes next to me putting his forehead to my own.
"I'll break up with Jack if you go back out with me. I won't ever see him again if that is what you want."
I don't respond, but I know I wanted to say okay.
"You do want that, right?"
"I don't know what I want. You can't just push Jack way so you can be with me."
"Then what, Ryan? I'm at a lost here."
"I don't know. Just forget it. I don't want to get into this when I am still confused about everything going on."
Brendon nods. He doesn't say anything else. He curls up next to me and quickly falls asleep. I sigh heavily and move out of the bed. I get dressed as quick as I can. I go back down stairs. I find Spencer, Jon, and Josh all messing around on their instruments. Jack is in The background listening. They are doing FBR covers. Jack decides to take over for Jon when they start a Cute Aim song.
"Whoa, wait. Why do you think you can just take over like that?" Jon asks.
"Because, these are my songs," Jack replies.
"You were apart of that band for six months."
"I know them better than you. Besides, everyone knows I'm the better bass player."
"I don't know about that. There are at least three people in this house that will say different."
"They don't count. They are in your band. It's a biased vote."
"Just let him play," Josh says. "It is his old band."
"Fine, but Ryan's singing," Jack says.
"What? Why me?" I ask.
"You're the only singer in this room right now."
"But I'm not-"
"You used to be before Brendon."
"Fine. What song?"
"What song do you think everyone knows? Curse of Curves of course."
We all actually have a good time. For once no one is arguing. I even grab an extra guitar laying around and join in on the songs I know best. Josh doesn't mention the fact no one wants to play a Paramore song. I think it's because we really don't know any besides Pressure. Brendon comes down once we get to Fall Out Boy. He notices what we are all doing and smiles a bit. From then on we just let him sing. No one will argue the fact that he has the best voice out of all of us. And it is one of The many things that made me fall for him. I swear his voice is magic. We end this session with a TAI song and all of the instruments get placed to the side.
"So...Brendon, what are your babies' names?" Jon asks.
"Well, Jack and I decided on Jamie Francis and Ryan and I... We haven't came up with her name yet."
"Why? Isn't that a girl name? " Jon asks.
"Jamie is actually a unisex name, and Francis is my middle name," Jack says.
"And Josh, what is your baby's name?"
"Owen Ryan Ross-Farro," he replies.
"So both of the babies are named after their fathers. That's cute. Ryan you have another baby to name. How about you two come up with one tonight?" Jon says.
"That's a good idea. We want a name for our surrogate niece by the end of tonight," Spencer says.
I look up at Brendon. He's also looking at me and he smiles slightly.
"Okay. Come on, Ry. Let's go name our little girl."
I follow him out the back door. We sit on the back porch steps.
"So... First of all, do you want her last name to be Urie or Ross?" he asks.
"Both. My name first so it'd Ross-Urie."
"Then I get to choose the first name."
Brendon and I go through various names. My mind stops on the name Cadence, while Brendon stops on Milia. It was a nice combination. Milia Cadence Ross-Urie. After awhile we start to talk about other things. Brendon brings up this morning.
"I still don't have an answer for you."
Brendon doesn't seem to happy to hear that from me.
"What about this afternoon? Did that really mean nothing to you?"
"Of course not. You mean the world to me, but how do I know if I can trust you? You could easily do this again and try to fuck me over."
"I promise it won't happen. Like I said, I'll stop all communication with Jack if you come back to me."
I think for a bit, trying to figure out the best solution. Would it be okay if I went back to Brendon?
"I...I wouldn't restrict you from seeing Jack since you have his child. Just stop having an intimate relationship."
"Okay. I'll stop. I'll do anything for you. I won't tell you to not see Josh either."
"Okay."
I lean into kiss him, hoping things would still be okay, even after this. We go back inside and spot Josh and Jack speaking to each other. Jon and Spencer aren't in the room anymore. I give Brendon the look. I wanted him to go talk to Jack as soon as possible. He seemed reluctant to but eventually he pulls him to a different room. Josh looks at me weirdly.
"What going on?"
I let out a breath. "Brendon is going to break it off with him for me since I'm willing to try again."
Josh doesn't seem to happy about what I had just said. He did after all say that he is competition, which would mean that he likes me. I kind of liked him back, but Brendon is still a lingering love and I don't think I could ever get over.
"I'm going to go home and have the baby in Tennessee. My family is there and it's easier to get support from them."
"Why are you going back?"
"Because I like you. I've liked you for a good while now, but you're so obviously stupid to not recognize it. All you ever care about is Brendon. When are you actually going to care about me? I thought I was helping you. I thought I was keeping you sane. I'm carrying your baby and at least I'm not a whore like Brendon."
I slap his face. He couldn't say anything bad about Brendon. I look at his face and my anger suddenly turns into regret. How could I do that to him?
"I'm leaving right now."
"Don't. I'm so sorry. I-"
"Don't pretend to give a rats ass about me. I'm not Brendon if you don't remember. I thought you were something different, but it's obvious that you're just a cold-hearted bastard."
Josh leaves the room. I get up to try follow him, but I run into Brendon. He looked a little defeated as he clings to me.
"I did it Ryan. I broke it off completely with Jack."
"How did he take it?" I ask.
Brendon shrugs. "He'll be fine. I know he's mad at me, but there's not much I can do about that."
"I'm happy though. It makes me very happy that you still want to make things work between us."
I hold Brendon in a comfortable embrace. I know a part of him still loves Jack, but hopefully that part will just fade into the kind of respect one has for a friend.