not lucky, just fortunate.
i suppose there's always that random day or week where it seems that you've been dealt a such a good card that its impossible to feel cheated by life, but instead that you are cheating life, itself. its not good luck, its just good fortune.
so lately ive convinced myself that staying at home and commuting to csulb would be my ultimate demise. convinced that if i dont leave this bubble now, theres no leaving at all. convinced that i will, surely, have no college tales to tell. and convinced that the change i seek would be unparallel to the change eminated.
but this is the reality- as much as i am willing to work my butt off to make rent and pay for food as well as commute from school to work, the negatives seem to be out-weighing the positives.
...for the first time, im not getting what i want when i want it. but i have to practical. i have to be sensible. i have to be smart. and im ok with that.
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in other news, ive found that i have to deal with all aspects of my life the same way i deal with my friends. straight-forwardness, honesty, invest in what is most important to me, and cut losses (kind of sounds more like a business than anything...) but at this point, i cant think of any other BETTER way to deal.
funny thing is, even in this moment of clarity, i feel that im still so confused and unorganized. but i guess life isnt ever going to be clear-cut, or else we'd all be bored out of our minds if we knew what was coming long before it even happens.
cheers to the unknown, unanswered, and unclear.
so lately ive convinced myself that staying at home and commuting to csulb would be my ultimate demise. convinced that if i dont leave this bubble now, theres no leaving at all. convinced that i will, surely, have no college tales to tell. and convinced that the change i seek would be unparallel to the change eminated.
but this is the reality- as much as i am willing to work my butt off to make rent and pay for food as well as commute from school to work, the negatives seem to be out-weighing the positives.
...for the first time, im not getting what i want when i want it. but i have to practical. i have to be sensible. i have to be smart. and im ok with that.
--------------
in other news, ive found that i have to deal with all aspects of my life the same way i deal with my friends. straight-forwardness, honesty, invest in what is most important to me, and cut losses (kind of sounds more like a business than anything...) but at this point, i cant think of any other BETTER way to deal.
funny thing is, even in this moment of clarity, i feel that im still so confused and unorganized. but i guess life isnt ever going to be clear-cut, or else we'd all be bored out of our minds if we knew what was coming long before it even happens.
cheers to the unknown, unanswered, and unclear.