Luna's (Not So) Lunes Linkies - Round 55 (VALENTINE'S WEEK)
FIRST OF ALL... most appropriate icon ever.
As promised, this week it's all about the loving... and the NSFW sex stories. And if the stories actually are SFW... they probably shouldn't be. In any case, I think the prevalent theme of "WHY WERE YOU SEXING THAR?" will shine through in the end. Let's begin:
The first story of a couple involving sex and tentacles (oh yeah, I went there), Weird sex: Giant squid do it deeper is about the, uh, secret sex lives of squids. "And scientists now believe the males had either accidentally inseminated themselves during "violent" lovemaking sessions with females or been inseminated by other males after "bumping" into them in the dark depths of the ocean." EDIT: OH TEH NOES. My other tentacles and sex link has died! D: Oh well, it was less entertaining than this.
So... how 'bout that Superbowl, eh? And if you have Comcast provide your cable, then you also got to see some "accidental porn" get played during the game! Oh yeah. So, for you all, I have the NSFW link for you here (with accompanying clip)... the whole site thar is NSFW, so yeah. There's also the safe-for-work version here to protect you all.
While rolling with this, here's adventures in cybersex, which complies some hilarious sessions. Some of them you'll recognize because I've put up links that quoted part of them before, but it's even better when you hear the whole story.
This story... I think I can credit ghzero, if not for the story but for directing my attentions to the general website. The title of the story just about says it all and I ain't got nothing else to say about it: Ryan Bailey - Indiana Man Abducts And Sexually Assaults Amish Man. Says He Did It Because There Were No Amish Girls Available.
So... where do babies come from? This webpage just about sums it up... with comics! By the way, this is ferociously NSFW.
And even Batman brings the lewd this week. Design fail only makes it's way into safe-for-work-land because it's completely unintentional in it's un-right-ness.
AHAHAHAAHAH. So. Right now: NSFW. Doggy Sex Toy probably isn't what you think it's going to be but it's still so incredibly NSFW.
Smacking this in the middle somewhere because it makes me so fuckin' sad: Father Charged with Rape of 8 Day-Old Baby. NO. YOU DOUCHE. JUST NO.
I actually don't know if this is NSFW or not but I do know this is a pretty epic Vermont fail.
Okay, I had known about this ad for some time but I didn't put it up because I didn't think it was... I dunno. Weird enough? It should, with all the anthropomorphic animals (cite Furries... which I suppose is weird enough) running about. In any case, Orangina, a type of drink, has gotten in trouble for it's "sexual ads." Read about the case with that link but you can view the dubiously SFW ad here. I uh... yeah. It's pretty strange.
And the neurological science of an orgasm. I don't know where I find this stuff. I DO know I saved that ages ago and was trying to find an appropriate time to put it up. It's got some fun facts in it. "... a 2007 study.. gauged the degree of sexual arousal in about 100 women and men, both homosexual and heterosexual, while they watched erotic film clips. The clips depicted same-sex intercourse, solitary masturbation or nude exercise-performed by men and women-as well as male-female intercourse and mating between bonobos (close ape relatives of the chimpanzee). The researchers found that although nude exercise genitally aroused all the onlookers the least and intercourse excited them the most, the type of actor was more important for the men than for the women. Heterosexual women’s level of arousal increased along with the intensity of the sexual activity largely irrespective of who or what was engaged in it. In fact, these women were genitally excited by male and female actors equally and also responded physically to bonobo copulation." Which made me lawl. Even MORE interestingly: "But when a woman reached orgasm, something unexpected happened: much of her brain went silent."
...Which leads me right into this: "Call him doctor Orgasmatron: Dr. Stuart Meloy stumbled upon an alternative -- and pleasurable -- use for an electrode stimulation device that treats pain... Dr. Stuart Meloy never set out to study orgasms. It was an accident." The article has a delightful sense of quirky humor to it to boot, which you kinda have to if you're running around using the term "Orgasmatron."
I was watching TV and I saw an documentary with her in it. This fits with the theme, no: Woman has 200 orgasms a day. Mildly NSFW only because of the giant 200 ORGASMS A DAY!! plastered across the top.
UNF. UNF. More sexings: Tongue Orchids’ Sexual Guile: Utterly Convincing. It's really no secret that plants have evolved to become more appealing to insects in a number of ways but apparently Tongue Orchids have mastered the art of smelling like female wasps. "Sexually deceptive orchids, as biologists have long known, look and can even smell so much like a female insect that males will try to mate with the flower in a sometimes vigorous process that can result in pollination. But scientists now report that the tongue orchids of Australia are such thoroughly convincing mimics of female wasps that males not only try to mate with them, but they actually do mate with them - to the point of ejaculation." AND IT'S SEASONALLY APPROPRIATE. WITH ALL THEM VALENTINE'S FLOWERS. So next time your boy (or gal) gets you a bit bouquet of flowers, think of the bee ejaculate, won't you?
THE HORRORS OF PRON! Okay, this is hilarious and totally safe for the viewing. I haven't worked up the nerve yet to click the thread it originates from but if someone could promise me it's all stuff like that, I would have been there yesterday. (And I know no one can promise me that.)
CRAIGSLIST WINS AGAIN. This time with some NSFW Super Mario Brothers action. Nintendo and sodomy, anyone?
I'm only a little sad... because I was going to follow the last one with another Craigslist listing, for Metal Gear foreplay, with plenty of Solid Snake puns to boot. Seems it's been flagged for removal VERY recently... but if it magically reappears, here's the link. (People trolled the listing here which may have something to do with it getting taken down. Still, sad times all around.)
At least Cracked had a list of the 10 creepiest craigslist encounters (well... to date) on their site. Definitely NSFW for language and mental imagery (any graphic photos, however, are censored).
And to end... every single "that's what she said" joke from The Office. For great justice.
As promised, this week it's all about the loving... and the NSFW sex stories. And if the stories actually are SFW... they probably shouldn't be. In any case, I think the prevalent theme of "WHY WERE YOU SEXING THAR?" will shine through in the end. Let's begin:
