Updates
I'm writing this at Life of Rileys, about to meet up with Brittney. It's hard to tell how things are going there because we're either hot or cold, I like her a lot though. Work has hit a pretty lame point because we've hired a new guy, Jake, and he's not very impressive - instead he's super arrogant and he takes several minutes to explain concepts to me that are rudimentary. I need to focus on looking for a new job, it's fairly clear to me that my existing company is not going to offer me the upward mobility or challenges that I really want to find.... yet, I haven't dedicated the time to finding a new job since last summer.
Probably the biggest thing on my mind is politics. There's just so much insanity happening to me and to our society that I have a difficult time ignoring it, and the guilt of inaction is baring down on me. On one side it's the NSA and our society's ineptitude to unambiguously repudiate the most noxious elements of that problem - on the other side it's Oregon politicians fucking with my gun owner rights. It's spectacularly insulting that a guy from New York blew $200,000 in my state, and through that contribution, has been able to alter my behavior and life. It's troubling, outrageous, insulting, and so many things I can barely wrap my mind around. Worse, still, is the lack of leadership in this state and in our society to confront either of these things.
I've considered moving to Boise instead of Bend. I honestly never though Oregon politics would be so easily corrupted, and this has shaken me to the core. I left work early yesterday after the bill passed the house, because I just couldn't focus anymore. The gal of the politicians who pimp this shit exemplifies the how they have exactly zero interest in building effective laws.
The future looks uncertain for me. My best plan now is that sometime in the late summer Brittney moves in with me, and from there I we could find another spot in this city to stay for a year, until I'm able to convince her to move away with me. She's super close to her mom and brother, and I appreciate that, but it's her biggest hesitation to moving. Otherwise, I'm not sure what I want to do for profit or not for profit. Politics destroys my mind and body but I am unable to move away from it. Technology is in my future, I know that, but I'm not sure in what capacity.... I'm optimistic but struggling to see the path forward.
I also regret not writing in my journal more often. Recently there's been a lot of times where I've thought to my self "I should write in my journal" but I'm just not finding the motivation to do it. I think a primary reason is because I'm still utilizing other outlets for explaining the ideas in my head, especially reddit. Reddit is a terrible platform in a lot of ways, but it gives me ample opportunity to connect with people via writing.
A basket of fries just arrived, that's it. I'm done.
Probably the biggest thing on my mind is politics. There's just so much insanity happening to me and to our society that I have a difficult time ignoring it, and the guilt of inaction is baring down on me. On one side it's the NSA and our society's ineptitude to unambiguously repudiate the most noxious elements of that problem - on the other side it's Oregon politicians fucking with my gun owner rights. It's spectacularly insulting that a guy from New York blew $200,000 in my state, and through that contribution, has been able to alter my behavior and life. It's troubling, outrageous, insulting, and so many things I can barely wrap my mind around. Worse, still, is the lack of leadership in this state and in our society to confront either of these things.
I've considered moving to Boise instead of Bend. I honestly never though Oregon politics would be so easily corrupted, and this has shaken me to the core. I left work early yesterday after the bill passed the house, because I just couldn't focus anymore. The gal of the politicians who pimp this shit exemplifies the how they have exactly zero interest in building effective laws.
The future looks uncertain for me. My best plan now is that sometime in the late summer Brittney moves in with me, and from there I we could find another spot in this city to stay for a year, until I'm able to convince her to move away with me. She's super close to her mom and brother, and I appreciate that, but it's her biggest hesitation to moving. Otherwise, I'm not sure what I want to do for profit or not for profit. Politics destroys my mind and body but I am unable to move away from it. Technology is in my future, I know that, but I'm not sure in what capacity.... I'm optimistic but struggling to see the path forward.
I also regret not writing in my journal more often. Recently there's been a lot of times where I've thought to my self "I should write in my journal" but I'm just not finding the motivation to do it. I think a primary reason is because I'm still utilizing other outlets for explaining the ideas in my head, especially reddit. Reddit is a terrible platform in a lot of ways, but it gives me ample opportunity to connect with people via writing.
A basket of fries just arrived, that's it. I'm done.