being manic
I've been having a bad manic attack...I can't stop thinking...someone said I was just having a bad anxiety attack. But I can breath fine. My muscles won't stop clenching. I can't stop shaking in general. I just feel really hyper. Wanting to do something and rocking back and forth. IT hurts a lot my arms feel sore...
i'm afiriad of having an attack outside. I beacem such a bad person when It happened before. I did fucking stupid things whenever it would hit when in public. I think I've been able to control it over the last few years but at the same tme I havn't put myself in those same situtations anymore. But in turn it made me more of a recluse. to be afriad of doing what you use to. Not knowing if the path you took was a good choice or if it was just a way out...if I've been lieing to myself this whole time. I mean I feel that I am bored..and I've always hated being alone.
I question a lot about myself when I am manic. I hate it...if what I am saying is approiate...if what I am saying sounds crazy...if what I am doing right...I don't know...but I'm starting to feel the down spin of the manic part now...all thats left is gonna be the feeling alone part.
But I think thats just being human.
(I miss people to much)
i'm afiriad of having an attack outside. I beacem such a bad person when It happened before. I did fucking stupid things whenever it would hit when in public. I think I've been able to control it over the last few years but at the same tme I havn't put myself in those same situtations anymore. But in turn it made me more of a recluse. to be afriad of doing what you use to. Not knowing if the path you took was a good choice or if it was just a way out...if I've been lieing to myself this whole time. I mean I feel that I am bored..and I've always hated being alone.
I question a lot about myself when I am manic. I hate it...if what I am saying is approiate...if what I am saying sounds crazy...if what I am doing right...I don't know...but I'm starting to feel the down spin of the manic part now...all thats left is gonna be the feeling alone part.
But I think thats just being human.
(I miss people to much)