The Itchies
I figured it would hit me at one point another but 3 and a half years later...lol...it finally got me. I've got a bad itch...of the worst fucking kind. So I've decided I'd actually start looking for a girl...well at least start dating again. I mean I've had my chances before and either just didn't want to put effort towards it or take the time outta playing games but...I'm getting pretty lonely now...when I see all my best friends in a relationship. I've made some bad choices with the last few relationships so I am a little worried I might go back into that same pattern...("stealing" girlfriends from other guys for one)...but I think I've learned from my past mistakes.
The other itch...is a really bad habit which I knew would want to come back...and I can't let myself go down that path again. But why is it everytime I tell people about the stories, it just feels like I should have never left it. GOD DAMN though I know it'll just change me all over again and I don't know if I can deal with it this time. I don't think anyone really understands how bad I want to just get fucked up. Just get soooooo fucked up. I KNOW its bad and I KNOW it leads to bad things...but fuck its really hard not too. I really don't know what to do about it. maybe once won't hurt...I've only done it once before and didn't touch it for a months. I dunno if I have the self control anymore. But I miss the lights, the music, the people, just everything so much. I don't expect for anyone understand and kinda just don't care...but...I can't...
The other itch...is a really bad habit which I knew would want to come back...and I can't let myself go down that path again. But why is it everytime I tell people about the stories, it just feels like I should have never left it. GOD DAMN though I know it'll just change me all over again and I don't know if I can deal with it this time. I don't think anyone really understands how bad I want to just get fucked up. Just get soooooo fucked up. I KNOW its bad and I KNOW it leads to bad things...but fuck its really hard not too. I really don't know what to do about it. maybe once won't hurt...I've only done it once before and didn't touch it for a months. I dunno if I have the self control anymore. But I miss the lights, the music, the people, just everything so much. I don't expect for anyone understand and kinda just don't care...but...I can't...