what the fuck am I thinking?
I'm trying this new thing.
It's this thing where I act like I don't give a shit, instead of looking and actually being completely smitten.
It's really hard, and I must remain dedicated if I want to uphold my prick status.
This means not lying in bed for an extra half hour to cuddle, not always being so available, not being the first to call, and basically doing anything and everything to give that vibe that says "Hey! You're not the center of my life dude."
I am under the impression that doing these things will draw him in closer. Why? Because showing him that I have a life full of things that are important to me (other than him,) will make him want to work harder to incorporate himself into my life. He will actually see that he needs to raise the bar and step it up to be with me, without me having to say a word about how he doesn't appreciate me or how I want him to feel a certain way. Also though, I have been going extreme in this direction, and then extreme in the opposite direction when I feel like I have taken things too far. It is really hard to get down just the right amount of the whole "I don't have time for you" thing. I go too hard, or not hard enough, and it's difficult to find the medium.
I find myself much less tolerable of things I used to be very accepting of. I see how frustrated I get so quickly, and how quick I am to throw my hands up and just say fuck it. I'm not sure if this is good, because what I am less accepting of I will not put up with - or bad, because there is such little effort given on my end to resolve an issue.
It's this thing where I act like I don't give a shit, instead of looking and actually being completely smitten.
It's really hard, and I must remain dedicated if I want to uphold my prick status.
This means not lying in bed for an extra half hour to cuddle, not always being so available, not being the first to call, and basically doing anything and everything to give that vibe that says "Hey! You're not the center of my life dude."
I am under the impression that doing these things will draw him in closer. Why? Because showing him that I have a life full of things that are important to me (other than him,) will make him want to work harder to incorporate himself into my life. He will actually see that he needs to raise the bar and step it up to be with me, without me having to say a word about how he doesn't appreciate me or how I want him to feel a certain way. Also though, I have been going extreme in this direction, and then extreme in the opposite direction when I feel like I have taken things too far. It is really hard to get down just the right amount of the whole "I don't have time for you" thing. I go too hard, or not hard enough, and it's difficult to find the medium.
I find myself much less tolerable of things I used to be very accepting of. I see how frustrated I get so quickly, and how quick I am to throw my hands up and just say fuck it. I'm not sure if this is good, because what I am less accepting of I will not put up with - or bad, because there is such little effort given on my end to resolve an issue.