I'm going to make myself enormously unpopular in very short order.
I've been listening to the CBC again.
That's not the problem.
They've been talking over the last few days about spousal violence and the idea that, as a society, we need to do something to stop this. Which I have no problem with.
What I do have a problem with is the presented idea that somehow this only happens in one direction - male abuser to female abused.
Which, bluntly, is patently untrue. The statistics don't support a position that says many men are abused, but even in this enlightened age, there are precious few men out there who are willing or able to come forward and say "My wife abuses me" without facing disbelief and derision.
Spousal abuse is a horrible fucking crime, in my less than humble opinion.
I've been the receiver of abuse by a loved one twice in my life. Fortunately for all concerned, those assholes are no longer part of my life.
I am a female, for that small part of the listening audience that doesn't already know that in spades.
And I get mortally angry every time I hear the phrase "spousal abuse" and "we must protect these women from the abuse" in the same utterance. If you're going to get on that horse and claim that you, we, I have to do something to stop it, then can we please stop ignoring the other people - the men - who have to suffer this too?
I know what it's like to be so ashamed of what happened that I disbelieve that anyone will believe me. I know from personal experience what it's like to finally have the courage to tell someone - someone who's supposed to be a professional - who's supposed to be able to help me - and have them tell me that I'm a liar. That it couldn't have happened to someone like me.
Here's the thing. I know I've likely offended at least some of the people who read this blog. And I'm okay with that. Because I know what it's like to not have any support. To have people think it's something that happens to "weaker" souls. It's bullshit.
Spousal abuse. Spousal. Not women. Not wife. Spousal. Men, women, I don't care - if they get beaten up by people who profess to love them, they're bloody well people who deserve to be helped.
End of bloody commentary.
That's not the problem.
They've been talking over the last few days about spousal violence and the idea that, as a society, we need to do something to stop this. Which I have no problem with.
What I do have a problem with is the presented idea that somehow this only happens in one direction - male abuser to female abused.
Which, bluntly, is patently untrue. The statistics don't support a position that says many men are abused, but even in this enlightened age, there are precious few men out there who are willing or able to come forward and say "My wife abuses me" without facing disbelief and derision.
Spousal abuse is a horrible fucking crime, in my less than humble opinion.
I've been the receiver of abuse by a loved one twice in my life. Fortunately for all concerned, those assholes are no longer part of my life.
I am a female, for that small part of the listening audience that doesn't already know that in spades.
And I get mortally angry every time I hear the phrase "spousal abuse" and "we must protect these women from the abuse" in the same utterance. If you're going to get on that horse and claim that you, we, I have to do something to stop it, then can we please stop ignoring the other people - the men - who have to suffer this too?
I know what it's like to be so ashamed of what happened that I disbelieve that anyone will believe me. I know from personal experience what it's like to finally have the courage to tell someone - someone who's supposed to be a professional - who's supposed to be able to help me - and have them tell me that I'm a liar. That it couldn't have happened to someone like me.
Here's the thing. I know I've likely offended at least some of the people who read this blog. And I'm okay with that. Because I know what it's like to not have any support. To have people think it's something that happens to "weaker" souls. It's bullshit.
Spousal abuse. Spousal. Not women. Not wife. Spousal. Men, women, I don't care - if they get beaten up by people who profess to love them, they're bloody well people who deserve to be helped.
End of bloody commentary.