penny for your thoughts...
One of my favorite Hitchcock films is Notorious. And, naturally, I'm talking about it because it's on tv tonight.
The showing happens to coincide with a conversation I had with a friend the other night, about perceptions of women. (Yeah, after taking my Women's studies class I'm finding women's rights and equality/inequality stuff all over the place :oP) But it's interesting to see perceptions of women in film. I mean, I love Hitchcock, but it comes with old perceptions and schools of thought.
I mean, in Notorious alone the three types of women are 1) a slut, 2) a hardass bitch, and 3) a woman who stays home and is a "proper wife". I feel like women are always cornered into these three categories... or if a women ever strays out of societal expectations, or stays within them, even (in the case of a "proper wife"), these are the three categories one can fall into.
The other night, my friend and I were talking about marriage, engagements, significant others, all that. Why? 'Cause so many of my friends lately have been talking of marriage. One close friend has both an aunt and her boyfriend's brother that are getting married, and my Big is getting married (not old news, but she's only a year older than me), and then my friend that I saw the other night for the first time in a while updated me on her boyfriend situation. She's been seeing this guy for over a year, and she's never been one to commit to one guy. But she's still with him, and happy. He's older (about 10 years) and apparently has brought up marriage a few times. She doesn't want to get married now, but said that if in 2-3 years he's still talking about it, she could see herself marrying him. Oh, and a classmate of mine just had a son (yeah, don't talk to him, but used to be friends with him in the younger years), and then another classmate has been married for about 2 years already.
But comparing my priorities with what's going around me, as well as what my priorities used to be, I'm soooo not into this whole marriage/relationship thing. Yeah, it might be nice to have a boyfriend, but is it a priority right now? No. In the future? Mmm... priority? Not really. I used to really want to have a boyfriend, eventually be married. But now? I find myself wanting to have a job, have found my place in the workforce, in life, and find something I'm good at, be independent, before I ever consider settling down into a family of my own.
This brings me round full circle to the thoughts of the three categories of women... You see, if a woman doesn't marry I feel like the perception of her is she is either a bitch (a hard working woman who might be a hardass but puts work above everything else, and that's considered a shame and a travesty 'cause she's supposed to get married and have kids), or she's considered a lesbian and so won't get married (at least not in the "traditional" sense). But if a woman wants to remain single, why can't she without everyone telling her she needs to find a man, get married, have a few kids???
Maybe I'm just going from my experience (yeah, my family's one of those that puts the pressure on for marriage... I think a few members expect me to have a serious boyfriend or a proposal around the corner but oops! not what I want right now, thanks very much), but I don't know... I feel like a bunch of old thoughts about women and marriage are still too present in today's society (or at least in a good portion of it).
So what are my thoughts pertaining to all this lovey-dovey (or at least the forming the marital bonds) stuff that's circulating around me lately? Good for them, but right now I find it hard to believe anyone my age would be thinking of marriage. I can't even see myself getting married in 5 years (I'm 22). Everyone I've asked says they want to get married by 26, some say 28ish. Me? Maybe 30 lol. I just can't see myself contributing fairly to a solid, healthy, permanent relationship before I've got my own shit figured out and am solid with who I am, and what I'm doing in life, y'know? Would I ever have imagined 3-4 years ago that I ever would have thought this? Nope. But I'm likin' it, y'know? :oP
The showing happens to coincide with a conversation I had with a friend the other night, about perceptions of women. (Yeah, after taking my Women's studies class I'm finding women's rights and equality/inequality stuff all over the place :oP) But it's interesting to see perceptions of women in film. I mean, I love Hitchcock, but it comes with old perceptions and schools of thought.
I mean, in Notorious alone the three types of women are 1) a slut, 2) a hardass bitch, and 3) a woman who stays home and is a "proper wife". I feel like women are always cornered into these three categories... or if a women ever strays out of societal expectations, or stays within them, even (in the case of a "proper wife"), these are the three categories one can fall into.
The other night, my friend and I were talking about marriage, engagements, significant others, all that. Why? 'Cause so many of my friends lately have been talking of marriage. One close friend has both an aunt and her boyfriend's brother that are getting married, and my Big is getting married (not old news, but she's only a year older than me), and then my friend that I saw the other night for the first time in a while updated me on her boyfriend situation. She's been seeing this guy for over a year, and she's never been one to commit to one guy. But she's still with him, and happy. He's older (about 10 years) and apparently has brought up marriage a few times. She doesn't want to get married now, but said that if in 2-3 years he's still talking about it, she could see herself marrying him. Oh, and a classmate of mine just had a son (yeah, don't talk to him, but used to be friends with him in the younger years), and then another classmate has been married for about 2 years already.
But comparing my priorities with what's going around me, as well as what my priorities used to be, I'm soooo not into this whole marriage/relationship thing. Yeah, it might be nice to have a boyfriend, but is it a priority right now? No. In the future? Mmm... priority? Not really. I used to really want to have a boyfriend, eventually be married. But now? I find myself wanting to have a job, have found my place in the workforce, in life, and find something I'm good at, be independent, before I ever consider settling down into a family of my own.
This brings me round full circle to the thoughts of the three categories of women... You see, if a woman doesn't marry I feel like the perception of her is she is either a bitch (a hard working woman who might be a hardass but puts work above everything else, and that's considered a shame and a travesty 'cause she's supposed to get married and have kids), or she's considered a lesbian and so won't get married (at least not in the "traditional" sense). But if a woman wants to remain single, why can't she without everyone telling her she needs to find a man, get married, have a few kids???
Maybe I'm just going from my experience (yeah, my family's one of those that puts the pressure on for marriage... I think a few members expect me to have a serious boyfriend or a proposal around the corner but oops! not what I want right now, thanks very much), but I don't know... I feel like a bunch of old thoughts about women and marriage are still too present in today's society (or at least in a good portion of it).
So what are my thoughts pertaining to all this lovey-dovey (or at least the forming the marital bonds) stuff that's circulating around me lately? Good for them, but right now I find it hard to believe anyone my age would be thinking of marriage. I can't even see myself getting married in 5 years (I'm 22). Everyone I've asked says they want to get married by 26, some say 28ish. Me? Maybe 30 lol. I just can't see myself contributing fairly to a solid, healthy, permanent relationship before I've got my own shit figured out and am solid with who I am, and what I'm doing in life, y'know? Would I ever have imagined 3-4 years ago that I ever would have thought this? Nope. But I'm likin' it, y'know? :oP