Now I know what it feels like to be a mom; or, In Which The Ninja Whines
This evening, I am feeling very crabby. Some of my friends are making me feel like some kind of nagging mom whilst at the same time they are blowing me off, and I'm feeling resentful about it. I just have to vent a moment before letting it go :P
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I really shouldn't act like there aren't tons of other people in the department (like you!) who aren't dregs at all--it's just easy to be socially lazy when I feel kind of stressed and unmotivated. I am really starting to get tired of this grad school thing, and the through of even one more year makes me feel like hiding in bed. So props to you for sticking it out even longer!!
You're totally right that people for the most part don't change, especially the older they get. This one girl in particular (I'll just let you guess who that might be) is really not willing to put in any work for her own happiness. I suspect she'll always be a mess, which is sad, because who wants to live that kind of life? Not I. I feel like I kind of got sucked in to her swirling vortex of insanity because I wasn't really paying attention, and now I'm stuck in the drama tornado. It's totally my own fault, but it's really hard for me to not reach out to someone who asks for help. I believe in people's desire and motivation to change, despite the fact that the data just don't support that idea.
I ended up going for that Friday morning run, and with Friend 2, who ended up texting me really late. But she showed up, and was very cheerful to boot. It was rather refreshing! I think you're right, though--I can't continue wasting energy nagging other people anymore, unless they are actually my children :) BTW you are brave to become a parent while still a grad student--these seem like two hard things that add up to a whole lot of pressure and energy. I don't think I could handle it!
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