Then and Now

Sep 15, 2010 00:08



Once upon a time, I decided that I wanted to be a vet.

Then I realized that the sight of blood -- especially that of a beloved pet or wild animal -- made me sick to my stomach.

So then I decided, "Oh! I'll be a horse rancher!"

And then I realized that raising horses was more of a hobby than an actual job. Especially because I would grow too attached to let them go. And when they died? ... Yeah.

So my next dream was to be a teacher.

....

I'm a recent high school grad.

My brother is in middle school.

And little kids have tiny attention spans.

.....

I think my point is clear there.

In seventh grade I made a discovery: I could write.

I'd always enjoyed reading, and writing was fun. But when I actually realized that I could make a living as an author... I just knew I was the career for me. I knew it like I knew my frshman year of high school that Baker University was the college I was headed for.

And I'd always loved singing. Music was always my life, has always been my life. And when I realized that I could make a life off that, I'd always entertained the notion of becoming a famous singer and songwriter.

When I graduated high school, I decided to major in English and minor in Vocal Music.

Upon seeing the workload in store for me as a music minor, I realized it would be much simpler to double major, because I would be doing all the work anyway -- why not reap all the benefits?

Now that I struggle through Music Theory and my other music minor/major classes, I realize just how stressful this is. Music is no longer fun for me. I hate my music classes, excluding Class Piano and choir courses.

I just spent three hours struggling over the same twenty problems on my Music Theory homework. With a tutor. I'm still not done. I still have more than half a page of work. My stress levels are insane.

And something that I once loved with all my heart and soul is now the bane of my existance.

I just don't know what to do.

I honestly just don't know what to do.

!personal

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