I Know Your Secret
I Know Your Secret
Title: I Know Your Secret
Pairing: HyukHae
Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Romance
Summary: Donghae finally musters up the courage to tell Hyukjae how he feels...only to be dealt a new and unusual hand of cards.
Disclaimer: I'm totally into the slave trade. SM thinks that they own the boys, as we've seen with Hangeng. But Hyukjae and Donghae own each other. :]
Note: Well, my iPod is possessed. Or something.
I'm just finishing up the touches on another story, trying to decide what story idea to chase next... And somehow I jump from a playlist to a single song, "Secrets" by Good Charlotte. It's safe to say that I knew which prompt I'd be working on next. ._.
***
Donghae sags against the wall of the room he shares with Eeteuk. The 11th floor dorm is dead quiet; he is the only one present, as all the others have something that they’re busy doing. Even his roommate, Eeteuk, is busy. So Donghae waits in the darkened room, watching the digital alarm clock as it winds through the hours.
Shortly before midnight, he’s struck by a splitting headache, and Donghae shuffles over to his bed. His intention is to merely lie down and wait for the pounding in his skull to stop, but as he’s lying in the dark, eyes closed, breathing deep as he waits for Eeteuk and Hyukjae to come home, he falls into a light doze."
I think I’m ready to tell him."
Henry blinks once, twice, and then a slow grin lights up his face. "Really, hyung?"
"Really." Donghae smiles a brilliant smile at the younger boy, and he has to stop and wonder just how long it’s been since he’s been able to smile a true smile. It’s almost painful to remember that the last time he truly smiled like this...was before he realized just how deep he had fallen for Hyukjae.
"Well then, I wish you the best of luck!"Donghae awakes to the taste of sleep -- a fuzzy sickeningly sweet taste -- in his mouth. He rakes a hand though his hair as he struggles through the immediate after-effects of sleep. Where am I? How long was I out?All it takes is a quick glance at the clock between his and Eeteuk’s bed -- 12:40 in the morning -- and the second question is answered, the first one having been answered about two breaths after his eyes first opened.
After a quick curse (except it’s not quick; it’s long, drawn-out, and particularly annoyed because he was asleep when Eeteuk and Hyukjae returned home!) Donghae rolls off his bed and stumbles over to the door leading to the main room.
And even though he’s rubbing at his eyes, his vision is blurred to all hell, and it feels like the world is spinning like a top beneath his feet, he notices immediately that there’s only one other person in the room. Hyukjae is not there.
"Hyung, where’s Hyukjae?"
Eeteuk jolts in surprise and glances up from the paper he’s reading, mild shock on his face. "Donghae, you’re still awake? The lights in the room were off when I got back, so I just assumed-"
Donghae carelessly shrugs a shoulder, feigning nonchalance. "I had a bad headache, so I was just lying there, waiting for you guys to return." He casts a second glance around the room even though he already knows that the boy in question isn’t there. "Where’s Hyukjae?"
Eeteuk, gaze once more on the paper, shrugs. "We were leaving the Sukira building and Eunhyuk spotted some girl and ran off saying something about how he’d find a ride later." Eeteuk glances away from the paper again, gaze focusing on the younger boy. "Why do you ask, Donghae?"
Donghae pushes a grin to his lips and struggles to keep the crumbling mask in place. "I, ah... I just wanted to tell him something, but it’s not important. It can wait." He pushes the grin wider, so wide that he looks almost happy, because he knows without a doubt in his mind that if Eeteuk saw him cry, then there would be no end to the questioning. If Eeteuk saw his weakness, that would be the end.
"Okay," Eeteuk says with a slight nod. "Before he ran off, I asked him to check in when he got back so at I wouldn’t be up all night worrying." The older smiles somewhat, "Would you like me to send him your way when he’s here?"
"Oh, I, ah... Don’t bother, hyung. Don’t worry about it." And with that, Donghae makes a hasty escape to their room.
***
Time has been passing cruelly slow ever since Donghae retreated from the main room. Ever minute seems to take an hour to pass, and Donghae knows that it’s only because he’s so annoyed with (Eeteuk, Hyukjae, that girl) himself for being so (foolish, helpless, hapless) stupid as to fall in love with his best friend.
He’s musing on that thought, mind going in endless circles when there’s the muffled sound of a door closing. Had everything not been absolutely dead silent, Donghae would have missed it. He would not, however, have missed the cheerful greeting between his two hyungs. Hyukjae’s unmistakable voice drifts through the closed door, closely followed by Eeteuk’s hyena-like laughter.
It hurts.
More laughter, Hyukjae’s laughter, follows a split second later.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
Then there is silence from the main room, a terrible silence that does nothing but instill a sense of fear in Donghae’s chest.
Suddenly, there is a knock at the door, closely followed by Hyukjae’s voice.
"Donghae, are you in there?" A pause, then: "Eeteuk hyung said you wanted to tell me something. Can I come in?"
IT HURTS, IT HURTS, IT HURTS.
He grits his teeth against the onslaught of pain and turns his face away from the door, from the knocking, from Hyukjae himself.
"Yeah, sure." Donghae is surprised at how...calm his voice sounds. His heart feels like it’s pounding a mile a minute, and there’s a vicious rushing sound in his ears. He knows without a doubt that had he been standing right then, his legs would have given out and he’d have collapsed to the floor. It’s a good thing he was still eagle-spread on the bed.
"Hae?" Hyukjae’s voice is right by the door as he takes a moment to let his eyes adjust to the abrupt change in lighting. "Where are you?"
"Bed," Donghae mumbles. After a moment, there is a dip to his right as Hyukjae takes a seat beside him.
The silence grows, deepens, sharpens, and it’s suddenly like a knife to the chest. He heaves an obvious sigh of relief when Hyukjae says loudly, "So, Eeteuk said you had something you wanted to tell me?"
"Yeah." Donghae rolls over onto his side so that he’s facing his friend. He begins memorizing the contours of his hyung’s face because he knows that after this there will be no more Hae and Hyuk. They’ll never be close like this ever again. "It’s a secret, an important one."
"What’s this important secret?" Hyukjae, impatient as ever.
"It’s my secret," Donghae corrects.
"What’s your important secret, Donghae?" Exasperation colors his tone now.
"Hyukjae, I love you." There -- abrupt and loud enough that Hyukjae could not pretend Donghae said anything else. And then his face is burning up, and there’s gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach and suddenly everything is spinning, and Hyukjae is silent.
Finally, an eloquent, "What?"
"Hyukjae." Donghae takes a deep breath and enunciates his words oh so carefully. "I love you."
"That’s what I thought you said."
Donghae is getting tired of the silence. It’s too painful to listen to. So he sits up and mumbles quickly, "Sorry, Hyuk. That was a huge mistake on my part. I’m really sorry," Donghae slides off the bed and is on his way to the door, hoping to catch Eeteuk and explain the he needs to get out and go before he does something incredibly stupid. "I know it’s a lot to take in and I’m really sorry for dropping this on you, and I hope that we can still be friends even though I probably repulse you to no end, and I really am sorry about that-"
And he’s babbling now, but it’s either babble like an idiot or bawl, and he knows that if he leaves the room bawling, Eeteuk will have a conniption fit and life will go right down the drain.
"-but like I said, you’re my best friend, and if you want me to leave you alone from here on out, I will because I can’t help but love you-"
"Don’t be sorry."
"And... What?" Donghae falters to a stop, shoulders hunched, his hand resting on the door handle.
"I said, don’t be sorry." There’s a rustling sound from the bed before Hyukjae murmurs in a soft, compelling voice, "Come here, Hae."
Donghae shuffles anxiously by the door for a moment, deliberating whether to comply before hesitantly making his way back to the bed.
"Sit, Hae." And Donghae sits down directly beside Hyukjae because, after all, what does he have to lose?
Without warning, there’s a pair of soft lips on Donghae’s and the world round him just melts away.
It takes him a moment to respond, to do something besides sit on the bed like a stump, eyes wide with shock, and then he’s angling his face so that their noses aren’t crushed against each other, so that they can breathe, so that this moment won’t ever end...
But somehow it does end.
When Donghae pulls away, his breath is coming in ragged gasps and the world is back to swimming and spinning around him, and his heartbeat is in his ears... But all he can see is the faint flush of Hyukjae’s cheeks through the glow of the city lights through the window, and all he can hear is the similar set of breathy gasps from the male next to him. And all Donghae himself can do is grin like a fool.
Then they’re kissing again, and Donghae doesn’t know who started it this time, but he knows that he’s kissing Hyukjae and Hyuk’s kissing him back.
***
"So," Donghae says some time later when the two of them are lying side by side on the bed, their faces turned toward the ceiling and dancing lights of nighttime Seoul.
Hyukjae glances toward the boy, exhaustion obvious in every move he makes. "Hmmm?"
"Who was the girl Teukkie hyung said you met while leaving Sukira?"
Hyukjae cuddles into the younger’s side, nodding slightly. "You remember Kim Yoojae, right? She was made a trainee a couple months before Super Junior 05 formed." Donghae hummed in answer. "Well, she’s in some new group now. They’re getting a fair amount of attention. She just wanted to say hey and get some coffee."
"Oh," Donghae mumbles, almost feeling ashamed for jumping to conclusions (but he’s not, because the panic that set in after Eeteuk told him was what brought him and Hyukjae together, after all).
"I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I brought you next time," Hyukjae teases.
"There won’t be a next time," Donghae mumbles in mock possessiveness.
Hyukjae laughs softly then, nuzzling his face into Donghae’s neck. "I love you, Hae."
And Donghae smiles, because he’ll never get tired of those words. "I love you, too, Hyukkie."
***
LIVEJOURNAL, QUIT BEING A FATHEADEDHOOKER. THANKIEVERYFRICKENMUCH!
Anyway... Here's the companion/sequel thing to "Can You Keep A Secret?". I hope everyone enjoyed it. :]
And now... I have a surgery to go prep for. :/
If anyone comments and I don't reply back immediately... It's because I'm probably sleeping off a drug-induced haze. Because pain and I? Yeah. Not good friends. And no one will probably hear from me for about a week if everyone else's predictions are right. Because of the pain and drugs and blah. Fun stuff in Thief's life. Epic. Fun. Stuff.
So wish me luck and stuff. Hope to be back on my feet in a few days! *crosses fingers, really hoping*