Can You Keep A Secret?
Can You Keep A Secret?
Title: Can You Keep a Secret?
Pairing: HyukHae (one-sided?!)
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I totally own them! Okay. I don't own them. I own the story and idea, though.
Summary: Secrets can be painful -- physically, mentally, and especially emotionally.
Note: There might be a sequel or a second part. Might not. It all depends.
***
Donghae sighed softly, gaze locked but certainly not focused on the flickering screen of the television that sat a few feet in front of him. At some point in the somewhat recent past he'd slumped over, elbows planted firmly on his knees, head resting in his open palms. In the back of his skull there is a distant throbbing as a migraine that he’s had for the past day returns full force, each and every throb beating in sync with his racing pulse. His jaw aches, too, and he knows it’s because he’s had his teeth clenched for so long that even thinking of opening his mouth hurts.
From behind him, there is a soft sound - a yawn. Donghae doesn’t bother blinking, turning, moving in the slightest. He knows it’s Henry. And he knows that for now, he is safe. For now, he needs no facade, no mask to hide behind, no smile to cover his pain.
"What are you doing awake this early, Donghae hyung?"
Donghae doesn’t answer. His gaze flicks away from the television over to the violinist. They settle there, pupils wide and eyes bloodshot, before flickering back to the TV screen. When Henry steps closer, studying him, Donghae sighs and resists the strong urge to bury his face in his hands.
After a long moment of silence, there is a soft whuff of exhaled air as Henry sighs. "You haven’t slept yet, have you, hyung?" It’s not a question, but a statement, as all it takes is one look for the younger to know the unabashed truth. Donghae makes no move to claim otherwise.
There is a second sigh, and Henry takes a seat on the couch next to his friend.
"Hyung, is there something wrong?"
Donghae shrugs. Then, almost as an afterthought, he shakes his head.
Henry may not have a degree in dealing with people, but after spending so much time within Donghae’s company, he knows now that the older boy is not a very good liar. So when he sees such a boldfaced lie, he knows that something’s wrong.
Even though it’s early and even though he’s not even fully awake, Henry manages a tiny smile. "You know that you can tell me anything, right, hyung?"
After a prolonged pause, after a practically visible debate, Donghae nods ever so slowly.
"Good," Henry says with a slight nod as he leans back a bit, gaze settling on the muted television. Colors flashed across the screen, giving the room a vibrantly-colored strobe effect. After a moment, curiosity got the better of him and he glanced toward the ceiling, attention immediately stolen as the ceiling flashed from red to blue to green.
"Henry."
Henry tilts his head away from the ceiling when he hears his name, eyes immediately focusing on the older boy.
"Henry," Donghae begins again. His eyes have slipped closed; fatigue is evident in every move he makes. "Can you keep a secret?"
For a moment, Henry is startled. A grin tugs at his lips and he almost answers without thinking, "Who did you prank this time, hyung?" Then he realizes that for the older boy to be so...worked up...this must be some secret. The playful smile slips from his lips and he nods once, solemnly. "Of course I can, hyung."
Donghae sighs, body sagging inward.
"Henry, I..." He falters, teeth worrying at his bottom lip before he mumbles in a near whisper, "I think I like Hyukjae."
There is an abrupt silence. Somewhere behind them, someone is shifting around in bed. Then, a moment or three later, further silence.
Finally, Henry manages a whisper-soft, "You like him... As in like him, like him?"
Donghae nods once, miserable.
"You mean you love him?"
A second nod. And then Donghae abruptly collapses into a heap on the floor. He’s crying, soft muffled sobs that shake his shoulders make his whole body tremble. His left fist is visible out to his side, clenched so tight that his knuckles have turned white.
And for a minute, Henry is scared. He’s never seen Donghae do that. The older boy is always bright and smiling, always full of laughter and mischievous grins. This sadness, this depression, is so very unlike him that the mere sight rests like a weight on Henry’s shoulders.
For a very short moment, Henry feels the pull of what he’d always believed Eeteuk felt when one of his dongsaengs was in trouble. So ignoring the fact that he had no real idea of what to do, he slid off the couch and hunched over by his hyung’s side, rubbing circles on the other’s back.
"It’ll be okay, hyung, honest." Dredging up old, ancient memories of his own childhood, he repeated some of the nonsensical things that his own mother had murmured to him in situations like this.
Henry losses track of time as he crouches there, one hand rubbing soothing circles on his friend’s back while the other is used to keep himself upright. He assumes it’s been close to an hour since he first walked out of his room, but without a clock or watch, he doesn’t know and can only guess at the time. He does, however, know that his stomach is grumbling none too cheerfully at him, probably demanding breakfast, and it’s rather obvious that no matter what time it is now, the others will be up soon.
Sometime after Henry’s assessment of the time, Donghae manages a choked laugh. "When did you become an umma, hyung?"
Henry merely gives the other a crooked grin, patting him somewhat awkwardly on the back.
After another stretch of silence, this one much shorter than the first, Henry leans back as Donghae pushes himself upright and reclaims his spot on the couch.
"What will you do, hyung?" Henry asks when Donghae is no longer hunched over.
Donghae shrugs his shoulders. All he knows for sure is that his heart now resides with his best friend, and if he’s going to do any sort of confessing -- if he confesses at all, that is -- then he might want to keep the rest of his priorities in order. That meant getting a little shut eye before a day packed full of interviews and the like.
"I think I’m going to nap," Donghae mumbles as he wiggles into the couch.
Henry eyes him critically, almost protests, nearly sends him to one of the rooms... But their schedule for the day is full as it is, so the only logical thing to do if Donghae wanted to sleep would be to have him pass out on the couch. So he nods instead, grabbing for the discarded blanket he’d dragged out of his room.
He drapes it over Donghae and a hesitant smile blooms on his face. "Until you decide what to do, hyung, I’ll keep your secret."
Donghae glances up at the boy, brown eyes fluttering as he clings to consciousness. An exhausted smile curls his lips. "Thank you." And then he’s out like a light.
***
Note: Hi, everyone!
This is my first Super Junior story, so it's probably kinda bad.
But I had to write it, and I felt that it was decent enough to share.
So here it is. :]
Questions, comments, critiques are loved. :]