The Pool - chapter ten
The feeling of Ted kissing him when they both know Marshall can see is confusing. Barney's certainly turned on. The kiss is hot. Deep and firm and hungry and excited. Ted's holding him tight, but not tight enough to cover up the fact he's shaking. There's a weird thrill in Marshall watching. It makes it feel naughty and illicit and a little dirty. But the good kind of dirty. Probably. Barney's finding it hard to tell.
His stomach clenches with nerves at the fact that what they're doing can no longer be a secret. That by showing this to their friends, they've got no option but to face up to it themselves. But he likes the feeling of Ted needing him; wanting him, so badly that he's willing to take that decision for both of them. To face his terror and insecurity over what they're doing and prove to Barney that this is important enough to risk everything, including the way his best friend sees him. Well. His second best friend.
When Ted pulls away, he looks for Marshall first, not Barney. He's still shaking.
"Barney, he's gone," he says hoarsely. He's still holding Barney.
"Ted, that was probably... weird for him to see." Barney's stroking the small of Ted's back reassuringly, sensing that he's on the verge of a massive freak out.
"Oh god. What... I shouldn't have done that. We, we should have told him first. Barney, he's going to be so hurt."
Barney can't believe he hadn't considered that. He'd considered the implications for himself and Ted. He'd known Marshall would be floored. Assumed he'd find it awkward around the two of them for a while. But of course he'd be hurt. Marshall thought he was Ted's best friend, but not only had Ted kept the biggest secret he'd ever had from him, he'd also got close to Barney in a way that completely excluded anyone else.
Barney sighs heavily. "We're idiots."
"Barney, what do we do?" Ted sounds close to tears. Barney sothes him, pulling him back into a hug and softly kissing his cheek.
"We talk to our friends. Starting with Marshall."
"I... I think I have to talk to Marshall alone. Can you talk to Lily?"
Barney nods and kisses Ted, stroking the back of his neck and running the pads of his fingers ever so slightly into his hair. "It'll be ok. He loves you Ted."
Ted heads upstairs to the apartment and Barney back to the bar, where Robin and Lily are waiting. Lily is confused and irritated by being abandoned by all three men and Robin is pretending to be, although it's obvious she's guessed at least a general summary of what's happened.
"Barney, what the hell was that about?"
Telling Lily had seemed really easy outside, with Ted in his arms and Marshall pulled somewhat crudely into the loop. He can feel Robin looking at him.
"Barney," She says, surprisingly gently. "You know we're going to get this out of you eventually, right? So why not just tell us. I'm sure it's nothing that bad." That last sentence is loaded with meaning. He's sure Lily will pick up on it, but she's focussed on him, not Robin. She raises her eyebrows expectantly.
"OK. Uh, Lily. And, uh, and Robin, obviously. Both of you. I, me and Ted. We... I..." Barney can't do anything but falter. The words won't come out. Robin reaches across the table and takes his hand, running her thumb across his knuckles reassuringly.
"Barney, sweetie, it's ok."
"Wait... Robin, you know what he's going to say!"
"I know. Sorry Lil. This was one he had to be ready to tell himself."
Barney takes a shaky gulp of air. Robin still has his hand.
He addresses the table, unable to meet anyone's eyes. "Me and Ted are together."
"You're... together? Together, together?"
Barney nods at the sticky glass-ringed wood. He doesn't see Lily until she's over in his side of the booth, pulling him into a tight hug.
"Oh sweetie, I knew it. Always. Marshall said I was wrong, but I just had a feeling. Is that where Ted is? Telling Marshall?"
"Um, that's the other part..."
Barney knows he's got by far the easier conversation here. Lily is sweet and understanding and she and Robin both reassure him that they know he and Ted didn't want to hurt Marshall, they were just scared and impulsive. They buy Barney scotches and ask him a lot of questions and he ends up telling them pretty much everything. Although he holds back on how utterly desolate and alone and hopeless he's felt in the intervening years. Nobody needs to know that. Not even Ted. Especially not Ted.
It's late when Ted texts him, and he, Robin and Lily are all a little drunk. He feels oddly liberated but vulnerable now they know and they're all talking about him and Ted the same way they do about any relationship anyone in the group has. When the text arrives, they both look at him expectantly.
'Hey. It's going 2 B ok. M mad abt way he fnd out + hrt I cdnt tk to him, bt nt mad abt us. C U l8r? x' Barney reads it out to the girls, leaving out the last sentence. He texts Ted back:
'I'm pleased. All gd here 2. Def C U l8r x x'
Not long after that, Barney goes home, asking Lily and Robin to tell Marshall he'll see him tomorrow. They all seem to share a silent agreement that Marshall will be better prepared for seeing Barney and Ted together when he's had 12 hours to digest everything.
He hasn't been in his apartment long before Ted's at the door. He opens it, wearing just a white muscle vest and blue and white striped pajama bottoms. Ted smiles approvingly.
"You know, it's not just suits that suit you..."
"How was it?"
"Honestly? Awful. I feel like I cheated on him. I kinda did. We'll be ok, but... It's complicated. Marshall's always been my best friend and now, suddenly, you and me have something that he never will. It's not like he wants to... do what we're doing. But I think he still feels sorta left out, you know?"
Barney does know. He relaised all that in the split second after the kissed outside Maclarens.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"We've both done a lot of talking in the past couple of hours..."
"Do you want a scotch?"
"Hells yeah"
They talk about stuff that isn't anything to do with their relationship or what their friends think or how anybody feels. They drink quite a lot of scotch and things get a little blurry. They're not sure how they end up kissing on Barney's leather couch, but that's what they're doing. Barney's vest is off and Ted's shirt is open. Barney's had to undo the buttons on Ted's fly and is so hard himself that his pajamas are pulled taut. Barney's on top of Ted, running an ice cube from his scotch glass over Ted's chest and nipples and straight down the line of his stomach. He's following the path of the ice cube with his tongue, making Ted shudder. He tugs Ted's jeans down, his boxers coming with them, exposing his hard on. Barney rolls the ice cube around his mouth, before taking it out and going down on Ted, taking the full length of him and, with his free hand, stroking his balls. He works his way down, sucking very gently on Ted's balls, licking on that sensitive strip of skin beneath them, until he's tonguing between Ted's butt cheeks. Ted gasps and bucks his back slightly, grabs the back of Barney's hair, clearly unsure whether he wants to push him away or pull him down and keep him there. Barney easily convinces him it's option two. When Ted suddenly pulls back, gasping for him to stop, that he can't take any more, he licks gently back up Ted's body until they're kissing, him with one hand between their sticky, sweaty bodies, gently rolling his hand over the head of Ted's cock and down the length of it. He feels Ted pull away again.
"Barney!" he says urgently. "Seriously, I'm gonna come."
It's enough to convince him to let Ted work on him. He's unsure of what he's doing, asking Barney a lot if it's good, if he likes it. It is and he does. Ted's ability to take his whole cock surprises him. He's really good at that, lips forming a firm, but gentle seal, tongue circling and flicking. Sucking hard and wet and smooth. Ted's licked his fingers and is tracing a gentle circle on Barney's asshole, maing him feel dangerously close to the edge. He pulls Ted up, pushing up to meet him and kissing him roughly, digging his nails into Ted's back. Very gently, almost tentatively, he manipulates Ted onto his back, going back to tonguing him.
"Ted," he says breathlessly, breaking off for a second "Are you... ok with, uh, where this is going?"
Ted nods, turning to kiss Barney again. They'e both slick with sweat. Barney gets up and takes Ted's hand, leading him to his bedroom. They make their way onto it together and Barney blindly reaches into a drawer near his headboard for lube and condoms. There's not much more foreplay. It hurts. Of course it hurts. But Barney takes it gently, never pushing it further than Ted can take, keeping him constantly turned on too.
At one point Ted pulls away and looks a little awkward. "I, uh, I kinda feel like I'm gonna-"
Barney cuts him off. "-You're not. I promise. Just relax and it'll go away."
Ted does relax. Barney can tell it still hurts him, but he hopes he's enjoying it too. The weird mix of vulnerability and seuxal power of being penetrated. The sensation of Baney inside him. Clearly he is feeling all of that, as well as Barney using his hand on him, lube making everything smooth and silky and intense, because suddenly, Barney can tell from his breathing and the feel of his cock that he's really, really close. That sends a jolt of pleasure through Barney and he leans in to kiss Ted, whispering to him that he's going to come. Ted makes a noise that's something between a whimper and a groan and says that he is too.
When it's over, and they've cleaned up, they both lie on their backs next to each other, not talking, just breathing heavily. After a few minutes, Barney pulls the sheet over them both and Ted rolls over to be close to him putting an arm over his stomach, nuzzling into his neck.
"So... there's kinda no going back now."
"Do you want to?" Barney turns to look at him, hoping the fear he doesn't want to feel doesn't show in his eyes.
"I just want you."
"Not a wife and kids?"
"Dude, it's 2012. We can get married. And we can adopt. Or get a surrogate. I'll get better kids than I would have with the original plan."
"Whoah Ted, it's a little early to be talking about marriage and kids."
Ted looks panicked. "I didn't mean... I just..."
Barney grins at him, covering his mouth in an affectionate kiss.
"I'm kidding Ted." He pulls him closer and it's not long before Ted is asleep.
Barney stays awake a while longer, feeling Ted's chest rise, listening to his even breathing, completely unable to stop himself smiling out at the darkness.
His stomach clenches with nerves at the fact that what they're doing can no longer be a secret. That by showing this to their friends, they've got no option but to face up to it themselves. But he likes the feeling of Ted needing him; wanting him, so badly that he's willing to take that decision for both of them. To face his terror and insecurity over what they're doing and prove to Barney that this is important enough to risk everything, including the way his best friend sees him. Well. His second best friend.
When Ted pulls away, he looks for Marshall first, not Barney. He's still shaking.
"Barney, he's gone," he says hoarsely. He's still holding Barney.
"Ted, that was probably... weird for him to see." Barney's stroking the small of Ted's back reassuringly, sensing that he's on the verge of a massive freak out.
"Oh god. What... I shouldn't have done that. We, we should have told him first. Barney, he's going to be so hurt."
Barney can't believe he hadn't considered that. He'd considered the implications for himself and Ted. He'd known Marshall would be floored. Assumed he'd find it awkward around the two of them for a while. But of course he'd be hurt. Marshall thought he was Ted's best friend, but not only had Ted kept the biggest secret he'd ever had from him, he'd also got close to Barney in a way that completely excluded anyone else.
Barney sighs heavily. "We're idiots."
"Barney, what do we do?" Ted sounds close to tears. Barney sothes him, pulling him back into a hug and softly kissing his cheek.
"We talk to our friends. Starting with Marshall."
"I... I think I have to talk to Marshall alone. Can you talk to Lily?"
Barney nods and kisses Ted, stroking the back of his neck and running the pads of his fingers ever so slightly into his hair. "It'll be ok. He loves you Ted."
Ted heads upstairs to the apartment and Barney back to the bar, where Robin and Lily are waiting. Lily is confused and irritated by being abandoned by all three men and Robin is pretending to be, although it's obvious she's guessed at least a general summary of what's happened.
"Barney, what the hell was that about?"
Telling Lily had seemed really easy outside, with Ted in his arms and Marshall pulled somewhat crudely into the loop. He can feel Robin looking at him.
"Barney," She says, surprisingly gently. "You know we're going to get this out of you eventually, right? So why not just tell us. I'm sure it's nothing that bad." That last sentence is loaded with meaning. He's sure Lily will pick up on it, but she's focussed on him, not Robin. She raises her eyebrows expectantly.
"OK. Uh, Lily. And, uh, and Robin, obviously. Both of you. I, me and Ted. We... I..." Barney can't do anything but falter. The words won't come out. Robin reaches across the table and takes his hand, running her thumb across his knuckles reassuringly.
"Barney, sweetie, it's ok."
"Wait... Robin, you know what he's going to say!"
"I know. Sorry Lil. This was one he had to be ready to tell himself."
Barney takes a shaky gulp of air. Robin still has his hand.
He addresses the table, unable to meet anyone's eyes. "Me and Ted are together."
"You're... together? Together, together?"
Barney nods at the sticky glass-ringed wood. He doesn't see Lily until she's over in his side of the booth, pulling him into a tight hug.
"Oh sweetie, I knew it. Always. Marshall said I was wrong, but I just had a feeling. Is that where Ted is? Telling Marshall?"
"Um, that's the other part..."
Barney knows he's got by far the easier conversation here. Lily is sweet and understanding and she and Robin both reassure him that they know he and Ted didn't want to hurt Marshall, they were just scared and impulsive. They buy Barney scotches and ask him a lot of questions and he ends up telling them pretty much everything. Although he holds back on how utterly desolate and alone and hopeless he's felt in the intervening years. Nobody needs to know that. Not even Ted. Especially not Ted.
It's late when Ted texts him, and he, Robin and Lily are all a little drunk. He feels oddly liberated but vulnerable now they know and they're all talking about him and Ted the same way they do about any relationship anyone in the group has. When the text arrives, they both look at him expectantly.
'Hey. It's going 2 B ok. M mad abt way he fnd out + hrt I cdnt tk to him, bt nt mad abt us. C U l8r? x' Barney reads it out to the girls, leaving out the last sentence. He texts Ted back:
'I'm pleased. All gd here 2. Def C U l8r x x'
Not long after that, Barney goes home, asking Lily and Robin to tell Marshall he'll see him tomorrow. They all seem to share a silent agreement that Marshall will be better prepared for seeing Barney and Ted together when he's had 12 hours to digest everything.
He hasn't been in his apartment long before Ted's at the door. He opens it, wearing just a white muscle vest and blue and white striped pajama bottoms. Ted smiles approvingly.
"You know, it's not just suits that suit you..."
"How was it?"
"Honestly? Awful. I feel like I cheated on him. I kinda did. We'll be ok, but... It's complicated. Marshall's always been my best friend and now, suddenly, you and me have something that he never will. It's not like he wants to... do what we're doing. But I think he still feels sorta left out, you know?"
Barney does know. He relaised all that in the split second after the kissed outside Maclarens.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"We've both done a lot of talking in the past couple of hours..."
"Do you want a scotch?"
"Hells yeah"
They talk about stuff that isn't anything to do with their relationship or what their friends think or how anybody feels. They drink quite a lot of scotch and things get a little blurry. They're not sure how they end up kissing on Barney's leather couch, but that's what they're doing. Barney's vest is off and Ted's shirt is open. Barney's had to undo the buttons on Ted's fly and is so hard himself that his pajamas are pulled taut. Barney's on top of Ted, running an ice cube from his scotch glass over Ted's chest and nipples and straight down the line of his stomach. He's following the path of the ice cube with his tongue, making Ted shudder. He tugs Ted's jeans down, his boxers coming with them, exposing his hard on. Barney rolls the ice cube around his mouth, before taking it out and going down on Ted, taking the full length of him and, with his free hand, stroking his balls. He works his way down, sucking very gently on Ted's balls, licking on that sensitive strip of skin beneath them, until he's tonguing between Ted's butt cheeks. Ted gasps and bucks his back slightly, grabs the back of Barney's hair, clearly unsure whether he wants to push him away or pull him down and keep him there. Barney easily convinces him it's option two. When Ted suddenly pulls back, gasping for him to stop, that he can't take any more, he licks gently back up Ted's body until they're kissing, him with one hand between their sticky, sweaty bodies, gently rolling his hand over the head of Ted's cock and down the length of it. He feels Ted pull away again.
"Barney!" he says urgently. "Seriously, I'm gonna come."
It's enough to convince him to let Ted work on him. He's unsure of what he's doing, asking Barney a lot if it's good, if he likes it. It is and he does. Ted's ability to take his whole cock surprises him. He's really good at that, lips forming a firm, but gentle seal, tongue circling and flicking. Sucking hard and wet and smooth. Ted's licked his fingers and is tracing a gentle circle on Barney's asshole, maing him feel dangerously close to the edge. He pulls Ted up, pushing up to meet him and kissing him roughly, digging his nails into Ted's back. Very gently, almost tentatively, he manipulates Ted onto his back, going back to tonguing him.
"Ted," he says breathlessly, breaking off for a second "Are you... ok with, uh, where this is going?"
Ted nods, turning to kiss Barney again. They'e both slick with sweat. Barney gets up and takes Ted's hand, leading him to his bedroom. They make their way onto it together and Barney blindly reaches into a drawer near his headboard for lube and condoms. There's not much more foreplay. It hurts. Of course it hurts. But Barney takes it gently, never pushing it further than Ted can take, keeping him constantly turned on too.
At one point Ted pulls away and looks a little awkward. "I, uh, I kinda feel like I'm gonna-"
Barney cuts him off. "-You're not. I promise. Just relax and it'll go away."
Ted does relax. Barney can tell it still hurts him, but he hopes he's enjoying it too. The weird mix of vulnerability and seuxal power of being penetrated. The sensation of Baney inside him. Clearly he is feeling all of that, as well as Barney using his hand on him, lube making everything smooth and silky and intense, because suddenly, Barney can tell from his breathing and the feel of his cock that he's really, really close. That sends a jolt of pleasure through Barney and he leans in to kiss Ted, whispering to him that he's going to come. Ted makes a noise that's something between a whimper and a groan and says that he is too.
When it's over, and they've cleaned up, they both lie on their backs next to each other, not talking, just breathing heavily. After a few minutes, Barney pulls the sheet over them both and Ted rolls over to be close to him putting an arm over his stomach, nuzzling into his neck.
"So... there's kinda no going back now."
"Do you want to?" Barney turns to look at him, hoping the fear he doesn't want to feel doesn't show in his eyes.
"I just want you."
"Not a wife and kids?"
"Dude, it's 2012. We can get married. And we can adopt. Or get a surrogate. I'll get better kids than I would have with the original plan."
"Whoah Ted, it's a little early to be talking about marriage and kids."
Ted looks panicked. "I didn't mean... I just..."
Barney grins at him, covering his mouth in an affectionate kiss.
"I'm kidding Ted." He pulls him closer and it's not long before Ted is asleep.
Barney stays awake a while longer, feeling Ted's chest rise, listening to his even breathing, completely unable to stop himself smiling out at the darkness.