(no subject)
Annemarie and I had a great weekend as usual... On Saturday we got up a little late and went to brunch.. and after we came home we fell asleep again. (I say she wears me out because she's a tigress, ;) Well, it felt good snuggled up next to my hot girlfriend). On Sunday we went to Avatar (3D!) and then walked around the mall together, hand in hand. We were looking for a hat and scarf kind of thing but she didn't see any that she liked. Eventually she found a real inexpensive hat that reminded us of the knitted red hat in Lollilove, haha. We came home (mmhmm) and then ordered some things on Amazon for our kids. I am getting us the Carcassonne big box for the whole family. I know the kids will all love it.
Later on we went to the library together and I found a book I had been looking for (The Looking Glass Wars, Frank Beddor, I want to see if Noah will like it). Annemarie found a book for me called 'The Sociopath Next Door' that was recommended to us regarding my ongoing situation; so far it explains a lot about my ex. I also checked out a bunch of Yo La Tengo albums.
It was a wonderful weekend.
What I am finding out is that there's a few really terrible people out there; there are people who are quick to take offense, completely lacking in conscience or empathy or goodness- no sense of humor or sense of fun. They are full of anger and resentment and bitterness... they usually poison themselves on alcohol and petty hostilities.. and go out of their way to hide their real personalities. Because if we knew them for who they really are, we'd regard them as monstrous. In the end-- there's nothing inside these people except an overblown sense of self-regard.
They can't be saved unless they save themselves.
But real happiness is so funny. You can find it if you just look. I found it when I did, and it's been over a year now that I've lived this way. I remember when Annemarie and I first started going out and we watched Vanilla Sky- there's a line that says "..every waking moment is another chance to turn things around and change your life."
That was the universe talking to me. I nearly cried, hearing that line.
There are two messages here, really: You can change your life for the better, yes. That's message #1. The second thing I didn't figure out until recently: be conscious of your decisions and don't be afraid to love and to find happiness. It's right there, it's waiting for you. It was waiting for me all along and I'm so glad I found her.
Don't be afraid. Don't tolerate threats or sociopaths. They can't be helped, but you don't have to let them get away with anything. 2009 was a learning experience. 2010 is when the lesson gets applied.
Later on we went to the library together and I found a book I had been looking for (The Looking Glass Wars, Frank Beddor, I want to see if Noah will like it). Annemarie found a book for me called 'The Sociopath Next Door' that was recommended to us regarding my ongoing situation; so far it explains a lot about my ex. I also checked out a bunch of Yo La Tengo albums.
It was a wonderful weekend.
What I am finding out is that there's a few really terrible people out there; there are people who are quick to take offense, completely lacking in conscience or empathy or goodness- no sense of humor or sense of fun. They are full of anger and resentment and bitterness... they usually poison themselves on alcohol and petty hostilities.. and go out of their way to hide their real personalities. Because if we knew them for who they really are, we'd regard them as monstrous. In the end-- there's nothing inside these people except an overblown sense of self-regard.
They can't be saved unless they save themselves.
But real happiness is so funny. You can find it if you just look. I found it when I did, and it's been over a year now that I've lived this way. I remember when Annemarie and I first started going out and we watched Vanilla Sky- there's a line that says "..every waking moment is another chance to turn things around and change your life."
That was the universe talking to me. I nearly cried, hearing that line.
There are two messages here, really: You can change your life for the better, yes. That's message #1. The second thing I didn't figure out until recently: be conscious of your decisions and don't be afraid to love and to find happiness. It's right there, it's waiting for you. It was waiting for me all along and I'm so glad I found her.
Don't be afraid. Don't tolerate threats or sociopaths. They can't be helped, but you don't have to let them get away with anything. 2009 was a learning experience. 2010 is when the lesson gets applied.