Moment of Clarity
I've always had a thing for pregnant women. The fact that this one here was working a bar only added to my attraction towards her. I mean, whats not to like about a blond, blue eyed bartender with the body of a seventeen year old save the bulging stomach that's pressing as tight to her wife beater as her ass is to her blue jeans. "Mm." Did i just grunt that out loud? How many of these drinks here have I had? one-two-thr- well this one isn't empty. Huh, lot of bottles, no point in counting them all. But why hasn't she cleared any of them off? Look at this mess. She won't even look over here to see it. Look, "LOOK", shit. Did that sound angry? Because I'm perfectly content in my own filth, use to it. There it is; I see her eyes dash over to me for much less than a second. Look at her rinsing those glasses, not a hand cloth in sight. I go back to the millisecond she glanced at me, freeze it in my mind. Disgust. That's whats in her sharp eyes, in her thin pressed lips. Those three telling points of the human face were all voicing utter disgust towards me. I think I'm getting hard. That round, soft, pale face hates me. "God damn." I love it. Is that a cigarette she's now lighting between her lips? The heat in my face, the shame of it, it wants me to look away. I can feel myself getting harder, getting embarrassed. The way she takes her long drag and the way she lifts her neck slightly to blow the smoke out of the side of her mouth like she's some wise weathered waitress. The little thing is playing dress up and the agony is just too much for me. I can't stop the swelling, i need it to stop. i need to look away, i need her to just "STOP!" And she does along with the entire bar. I can feel their eyes. Maybe I need to apologize and admit i have no right dictating her life, but the way she's looking at me has changed. Now she stares silently, curiously and open to what i have to say to her. Does she want me to scold her? Those wide eyes, her lower lip hanging loosely. Yeah, she wants me to discipline her, slap her wrist and scream: clean up my part of the bar! Scrub the glasses when you clean em! Put down that cigarette! She wants it from me, she wants me to teach her a lesson. "AWww FUCK, MAN" I hear it like a siren in my right ear. And who just pushed me? The man to my right is looking down at my pants, was it him? "Aw fuck, you've PEED yourself, Gary, shit!" He's right, the wet heat in my lap, the heat in my face. My trucks out front, I need to get home. She lifts her eyebrows, takes another deep drag and turns around to sneak a swig of something and doesn't turn back. We all live with a heat in our faces.