Clarinet Jokes
Other instrument Jokes
And More Instrument Jokes
Why were baritones invented?
Because someone thought the tuba should have a baby.
This is one i like about drummers:
Q: How do you confuse a drummer?
A: Put music infront of him.
Clarinet Jokes
How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but he'll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one. What's the definition of "nerd?" Someone who owns his own alto clarinet. What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain? Gifted. How do you know when a clarinet player is at your house?
They don't know where to enter and what key to use.
What do call a line setup by clarinets?
A circle How are God and a clarinetist alike? They are both perfectionists. How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he can't do it without squeaking. How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but she'll have to go back to adjust it twenty times.
How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three: one to change the bulb and two to complain about how bad the old one was.
How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?
They can't; they never stop playing.
A man walks into a meat store looking for some brains for dinner. He looks at the selections:
Flute Brains $1/lb
Tuba Brains $10/lb
Percussion Brains $5/lb
Clarinet Brains $100/lb
He asks the butcher why clarinet brains are so expensive. The butcher replied, "Do you know how many clarinets you have to kill to get a pound of brains?"
Q: How do you get a clarinetist out of a tree?
A: Cut the noose! Q: What do you get when you cross a piccolo and a clarinet?
A: An earache. Q: What's the difference between a clarinet and a mouse?
A: You can't hear a mouse squeak over the entire band! Q: What's the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up an onion! Q: Why do clarinetists put their cases on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces. Q: Why do oboists put their oboes in clarinet cases?
A: So they won't get stolen! Q: What do a clarinet and a law suit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed. Q: If most musicians are either high or low, what does that make an orchestral third clarinetist?
A: Confused. Woodwind players do it in the reeds. Why were clarinets invented?
For one of three reasons. To make an oboe that looks good, to mess up someone's fingers, or so there would be someone to steal reeds from. Following a late-night gig, a clarinet player from a jazz band woke up in the morning and realised he had left his clarinet on the back seat of his car which was parked out in the street. Convinced that his instrument would have been stolen overnight, he dashed out in his pyjamas and, sure enough, saw that the side rear window had been smashed. But when he looked into the back seat, he saw not only his own clarinet, but two more clarinets. Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?
A: You can almost hear them. Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder?
A: You can't! What's the same about a clarinet and a lawnmower?
You can tune them both! CLARINET: an untunable device for people who want to be in band but have weak arms and don't wish to be heard. What's the difference between a clarinet and a trombone? A trombone bends before it breaks! Q)What do you call 20 clarinetists at the bottom of the ocean?
a)A good start.