A slight update...
On Tuesday night I talked to Amy for a while on the phone. We had decided that things weren't going to get better between us without A LOT of space, so we vowed to stop talking altogether. She called me up that night because she missed me, and to the surprise of both of us, the conversation actually went really well. I think we both really listened to each other and we were both really honest and humble for the first time in a long while. We both expressed having a lot of peace about things after that call. We still need space, and we're going to try not talking to each other for as long as it takes, because we both need some time to sort out all the stuff that's happened the past few months. I don't know if she still reads my journal or not, but just in case she does, I'd like to say that I miss her like crazy and this time apart is gonna be hard for me too, but if this is the only way to save us then so be it. Sometimes you have to go through a rough winter before new life can bloom in the spring. I hope spring is just around the corner, because I want things to be all better between us, but I've got a heavy coat and some gloves and I'm ready to brave the cold as long as I have to. I wish I had some way of telling, no, make that showing, her how much I love her. I wish everything would hurry up and fall into place already. I wish it was all easy. But it isn't, and it won't be any time soon. We're both growing and learning and maturing, and God is doing something here. I'm not who I'm gonna be tomorrow, she isn't who she's going to be tomorrow, and at some point down the road we will both have reached a certain place and we'll cross paths again and come together and once again it will be that perfect fit. It might take a while, and there might be a lot of heartache in between, but I'm confident it will happen, and I'm not giving up on this. Amy, if you're reading this, I love you soooooooooooooo much. The past is behind us, we're getting some space, and we're going to get through this. I know we will. The End.