Fuckin' Old Bitches
The mood was tense.
The electricity in the room was high.
As the introductions of the event started with a microphone squeal, the majority of the room (which were senior citizens) checked their hearing aids to make sure that it wasn't just a sound they alone were hearing.
It was the Literacy Volunteers 1st Annual Scrabble Competition
Game 1
I was sitting directly across from a woman who looked to be so old that it seemed to require too much energy to consistently keep her eyes open. Kind of like King Theoden (of Rohan) from The Two Towers while he was being bewitched by Grima Wormtongue. Yea I'm a nerd, but who cares, because I was about to get Scrabble-y.
After asking Marilyn how many times she had played Scrabble (to which she responded 7) the old lady kind of smirked, over the course of the next 50 minutes I learned several things:
- Once we told her that we were not members of the Choir, she had not much else to say to us
- She was one of those old money bitches that think they are better than everyone else, she even employed the phrase " .... they better do it, because of the amount of money I've given the school over the years"
- She was a cheating whore ... and I hope she broke her hip while celebrating the victory
- SE is not a word, I was pretty sure about this but neglected to challenge ... this linked an existing word to QUEST which they got for a triple letter score (on the Q) and a double word score bonus. Also, this cheating manuever was the only reason they came from 30 pts down to end up beating us.
- QUES is not a word, pretty sure on this one as well but I was a little shaken after the 50 point SE debacle
- Apparently if you are old and probably not even that wealthy but think you are, you can cheat with a clear conscience.
- I also let them get away with a letter exchange prior to the two phony words after their time for the turn had expired. If I knew what was to come, I would have definitely called them out on this technicality. Bitches.
- I get angry every time I think about this ... at least her partner was a real sweetheart.
- We lost by 27, but if you subtract the 80-odd points they scored on fake words, I feel pretty good about our performance.
- If we could have only pulled an A, I was going to slap down TZAR, with a triple letter score Z for two words (TZAR, ZA) for like 65 points ... despite the fact that there are like 10 A's, we could never get it. Sad :(
Game 2
Playing two more old women, albeit slightly younger than the first two. Seemed nicer. Prior to the tournament they made a big deal about ZA, KI, and QI being added to the word lists, so our opponents played QI as there first word. We played FANE by linking the I to make IF. I understand this is boring, but basically it means since UFANE is not a word ... we played the entire game on one half of the board. It was a challenge, a challenge we lost by like 5 points.
Once again happy with the play ... me and Marilyn made a good Scrabble team. And big ups to her for recognizing that we could play DIVA instead of whatever 4-letter D word I was going to play on the triple word score ... giving us about 9 more points.
Game 3
Playing Kristin Ballard and Roxie Smith who were hot after a two hundred point drubbing of two 13 year olds ... and proud of themselves for getting 53 points using the word SHITTY. I thought it was awesome. We jumped out to a commanding lead mainly on Marilyn's excellent pulling of tiles. The Z, X, and J were all gotten by us in the first few rounds and we used them all on triple word scores. After that we just kind of cruised to victory by playing defensively and stealing all the triple word scores for about 10 points apiece. They came back to make it close ... but I would say due to the defensive play it was still a pretty decisive victory.
The apex of our team work ... Marilyn had a hot hand with the letter bag ... I was using two letter words to maximum point advantage ... we passed 100 on our 4th word after only using about six total tile, which seemed to break the spirit of our opponents ... well that and the fact that we seemed to get every tile worth more than 1 point. Perhaps a bit melodramatic ... but it was by far the most enjoyable game of the tournament. More so due to our opponents being a) within 50 years of our age and b) not bitches.
So yea ... I had fun. Finished the day 1-2. At least we got a W. And launched a new catchphrase "Let's get Scrabble-y" ... unless Sarah already did this, I don't remember but I don't want to take credit if it's not mine.
I also learned to not take anything from old people in the case of a 2nd Annual Scrabble Tournament.
On a side note, I did not get to use the phrase "BINGO, MOTHERFUCKER" even though I would have loved to in that first game :(
The electricity in the room was high.
As the introductions of the event started with a microphone squeal, the majority of the room (which were senior citizens) checked their hearing aids to make sure that it wasn't just a sound they alone were hearing.
It was the Literacy Volunteers 1st Annual Scrabble Competition
Game 1
I was sitting directly across from a woman who looked to be so old that it seemed to require too much energy to consistently keep her eyes open. Kind of like King Theoden (of Rohan) from The Two Towers while he was being bewitched by Grima Wormtongue. Yea I'm a nerd, but who cares, because I was about to get Scrabble-y.
After asking Marilyn how many times she had played Scrabble (to which she responded 7) the old lady kind of smirked, over the course of the next 50 minutes I learned several things:
- Once we told her that we were not members of the Choir, she had not much else to say to us
- She was one of those old money bitches that think they are better than everyone else, she even employed the phrase " .... they better do it, because of the amount of money I've given the school over the years"
- She was a cheating whore ... and I hope she broke her hip while celebrating the victory
- SE is not a word, I was pretty sure about this but neglected to challenge ... this linked an existing word to QUEST which they got for a triple letter score (on the Q) and a double word score bonus. Also, this cheating manuever was the only reason they came from 30 pts down to end up beating us.
- QUES is not a word, pretty sure on this one as well but I was a little shaken after the 50 point SE debacle
- Apparently if you are old and probably not even that wealthy but think you are, you can cheat with a clear conscience.
- I also let them get away with a letter exchange prior to the two phony words after their time for the turn had expired. If I knew what was to come, I would have definitely called them out on this technicality. Bitches.
- I get angry every time I think about this ... at least her partner was a real sweetheart.
- We lost by 27, but if you subtract the 80-odd points they scored on fake words, I feel pretty good about our performance.
- If we could have only pulled an A, I was going to slap down TZAR, with a triple letter score Z for two words (TZAR, ZA) for like 65 points ... despite the fact that there are like 10 A's, we could never get it. Sad :(
Game 2
Playing two more old women, albeit slightly younger than the first two. Seemed nicer. Prior to the tournament they made a big deal about ZA, KI, and QI being added to the word lists, so our opponents played QI as there first word. We played FANE by linking the I to make IF. I understand this is boring, but basically it means since UFANE is not a word ... we played the entire game on one half of the board. It was a challenge, a challenge we lost by like 5 points.
Once again happy with the play ... me and Marilyn made a good Scrabble team. And big ups to her for recognizing that we could play DIVA instead of whatever 4-letter D word I was going to play on the triple word score ... giving us about 9 more points.
Game 3
Playing Kristin Ballard and Roxie Smith who were hot after a two hundred point drubbing of two 13 year olds ... and proud of themselves for getting 53 points using the word SHITTY. I thought it was awesome. We jumped out to a commanding lead mainly on Marilyn's excellent pulling of tiles. The Z, X, and J were all gotten by us in the first few rounds and we used them all on triple word scores. After that we just kind of cruised to victory by playing defensively and stealing all the triple word scores for about 10 points apiece. They came back to make it close ... but I would say due to the defensive play it was still a pretty decisive victory.
The apex of our team work ... Marilyn had a hot hand with the letter bag ... I was using two letter words to maximum point advantage ... we passed 100 on our 4th word after only using about six total tile, which seemed to break the spirit of our opponents ... well that and the fact that we seemed to get every tile worth more than 1 point. Perhaps a bit melodramatic ... but it was by far the most enjoyable game of the tournament. More so due to our opponents being a) within 50 years of our age and b) not bitches.
So yea ... I had fun. Finished the day 1-2. At least we got a W. And launched a new catchphrase "Let's get Scrabble-y" ... unless Sarah already did this, I don't remember but I don't want to take credit if it's not mine.
I also learned to not take anything from old people in the case of a 2nd Annual Scrabble Tournament.
On a side note, I did not get to use the phrase "BINGO, MOTHERFUCKER" even though I would have loved to in that first game :(