for once, i don't know how to put it
Hello everybody, and welcome to this once and final edition of "Time to Talk". im your host, Drina Chiafullo and i welcome you this lovely afternoon. i havent been on in a really long time, in truth and actuality, i strayed far far away, until only to get my heart broken yet again to see what i've done to myself and done to other people. now you say, she has gotten her heart pierced yet again by some childish boy that galivants around from girl to girl. but it wasn't one boy. it wasn't many either. it was friends. many of them too who so easingly cut me from them. one does not get mad, yet sorriful, and semi depressed i have been rented again. from this final lesson i have learned even though it is very important to be a great friend to the best of your ability, you must also look after yourself, and never loose your childish innocence. it is hard not to see your own image changing before you when you are too focused on others before you. many of you will read this and say "shes just preaching some crap she heard off of a cd or something" but im not. i think we all take one thing for granted every day, and that is ourselves. im not saying try to be alittle bit more selfish, just, ahhhhh, i dunno, look in the mirror and ask yourself, "is this what you really want?" i don't know about you but i have been living my own life for others alot lately and it has got to change. i am a very reliable friend, i know that, whenever you need ne thing call, but sometimes selfish people take for granted that reliability, and something consumes our own insides saying,"your not good enough as a friend, as a backup, a saftey rope, a life support. alot of my guy and girlfriends have been talking to me recently about their boyfriends or "flings" about how they just want to make things perfect, or just want something perfect in general.or they just keep talking and talking about it and NEVER LET GO OR IT NEVER ENDS.(what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...) well if you thing your really mature for your age(like i am) in the area of dating or relationships or just how to deal with the world, tell me. first and foremost, you shouldnt be dwelling on it sooo much. why were we put on this earth???? TO LIVE. while your sitting on your computer reading this, ask yourself, have you felt alive lately? do u even know how to do it?? TRY.
It's also really funny how people change their minds so rapidly. makes me laugh actually. i really don't see how a bum like me who is barely taking any classes this semester can afford or even pursue good grades to go to the school i want to go. it's either a positive choice for me, or a negative one. i use to be like that tho. yeeeeeeeesssssssss along time ago. drina the bookworm, i read like 300 books a year in the 3rd grade. i am very doubtful, very doubtful and need alot of guidence and support. i am very strong on the outside but in the inside i am weak, i fall for jerky friends and guys, feeling like i can help them be "unjerky" or something. i am just too compassionate. i guess i need to put that compassion to my future and myself more huh, seeing that it's getting me nowhere here. but i for sure as hell know that i don't want to stay here any longer, this small retched town, no one should. it does strange things to the mind.
so i am going to go work on getting into that school and myself and just forget about it all, let it all come back to me. i think everyone should do that. Now i am going to apologize to all of you,P-i wish i would talk to you more often, seems like everything always gets in the way, stupid things, and ...,C-i wish i could be more like you, with you high intelect wit and bulgingbrain and good heart...K-i look up to you highly for your patience and understanding of all the details, how i wish i could have patience like you...BP-thank you for being such a good friend in such a short time, your a great guy and K is very lucky, BM-i never thought we would be come closer after the whole hulabaloo junior year, but thanx, E-i don't talk to you much but when i do i feel like we are on the same page, good luck to ya in the future, D-i miss you very much and have always admired you earrings, you sooooooo funny...S-keep up the great drawings and i know this year at state you'll be the best,... M-oh how i wish i could be the greatest ninja like you, you'll always be my #1 halo coach...M and C, you all were great buds and good rivals, i hope everything goes ok in that house i am leaving, i will miss mom much, and i am sorry for what i will do to you guys in the future...N-your not my closest yet but soon we will be like siblings, i CAN"T WAIT..... and finally my dearest...A-you have always been there to make things sane when i make them insane. we've been through thick and thin and made it out alive and finally we are on our way to even more glory, i hope many more years are to come, especially with he-who-is-afraid-of-spiders-repelling....i just don't know what i'd do with out you sista.....
goodbye, and thank you for tuning into my life. i must now go and graduate from college to save the world.
It's also really funny how people change their minds so rapidly. makes me laugh actually. i really don't see how a bum like me who is barely taking any classes this semester can afford or even pursue good grades to go to the school i want to go. it's either a positive choice for me, or a negative one. i use to be like that tho. yeeeeeeeesssssssss along time ago. drina the bookworm, i read like 300 books a year in the 3rd grade. i am very doubtful, very doubtful and need alot of guidence and support. i am very strong on the outside but in the inside i am weak, i fall for jerky friends and guys, feeling like i can help them be "unjerky" or something. i am just too compassionate. i guess i need to put that compassion to my future and myself more huh, seeing that it's getting me nowhere here. but i for sure as hell know that i don't want to stay here any longer, this small retched town, no one should. it does strange things to the mind.
so i am going to go work on getting into that school and myself and just forget about it all, let it all come back to me. i think everyone should do that. Now i am going to apologize to all of you,P-i wish i would talk to you more often, seems like everything always gets in the way, stupid things, and ...,C-i wish i could be more like you, with you high intelect wit and bulgingbrain and good heart...K-i look up to you highly for your patience and understanding of all the details, how i wish i could have patience like you...BP-thank you for being such a good friend in such a short time, your a great guy and K is very lucky, BM-i never thought we would be come closer after the whole hulabaloo junior year, but thanx, E-i don't talk to you much but when i do i feel like we are on the same page, good luck to ya in the future, D-i miss you very much and have always admired you earrings, you sooooooo funny...S-keep up the great drawings and i know this year at state you'll be the best,... M-oh how i wish i could be the greatest ninja like you, you'll always be my #1 halo coach...M and C, you all were great buds and good rivals, i hope everything goes ok in that house i am leaving, i will miss mom much, and i am sorry for what i will do to you guys in the future...N-your not my closest yet but soon we will be like siblings, i CAN"T WAIT..... and finally my dearest...A-you have always been there to make things sane when i make them insane. we've been through thick and thin and made it out alive and finally we are on our way to even more glory, i hope many more years are to come, especially with he-who-is-afraid-of-spiders-repelling....i just don't know what i'd do with out you sista.....
goodbye, and thank you for tuning into my life. i must now go and graduate from college to save the world.