AO3 Meme

Nov 04, 2012 01:23

I saw this meme floating around a few months ago, and mentally stored it for when one of my fics broke the 10k hits barrier, which was yesterday :) The general gist was to list your top 10 fics on AO3 by hit count, but me being me, I am also going to indulge in some navel-gazing while we're at it...

(tw's for pretty much everything...)


1) Half-Way Gone (Inception | Arthur/Eames | 10,043 hits)
I have very mixed feelings about this fic. It's a genderbend story in which Eames was always a girl, and I included a lot of meta about the way I perceived the fandom to view gender and gender roles as part of the story. It was also the fic that made me realise that I just wasn't that interested in slash anymore, because girl!Eames was just so incredibly compelling to write. So in terms of the fic, I'm really proud of what I wrote, and I think it hit a nerve with a lot of readers because I still get comments on it now, two years later. But it will always be tainted by what happened to me in that fandom shortly before I posted the story, and continued on afterwards for quite some time (for those who weren't around and are curious, see here and here: tw for racism, ad hominem bullshit and mind-blowing stupidity). I left Inception right after posting, and never regretted it, but at random moments I still get angry about some of that crap, and that sadly will always be connected to this fic for me.

2) The Lady of the Gift (ASOIAF | Sansa/Sandor | 9,084 hits)
I had vague hopes for a while that this one would overtake the one above, but even a late surge hasn't quite got it there yet! This has got to be my favourite of all my 59 fics on AO3. The first chapter of this story is the first thing ever that I wrote in this fandom, and then the rest of it just... poured out. Well, not quite, of course :) It did take several months to write, and it wasn't always easy, but my abiding memory of writing this one is just how fulfilled it made me feel. I identify really strongly with Sansa in the books, and I wrote her four years into the future here like my twenty-year-old self. There is so much of me in this story that putting it down on the page was quite a cathartic experience. The sheer length of it was also a totally new experience, having never finished anything more than about 13k before (this one is over 80k), and I won't say I didn't get severe vertigo at times as the finishing line kept seeming to creep further and further away, but I learnt a hell of a lot in the process, not least of which was that writing something so... close to home, and so enjoyable, really gives you confidence. When I finished this, I realised that I really could write a novel - that I did have the stamina and storytelling ability - and a few months later I did indeed start one :) This story doesn't seem to make it onto an awful lot of recs lists, unlike some of my others, and I find it hard to objectively assess why it's been less popular, but to me this is still my baby, and still no. 1 <3

3) Endgame (ASOIAF | Sansa/Sandor | 6,584 hits)
Oh, Endgame <3 I just want to lol every time I see how popular you are. This ridiculous fic started off as a PWP, and was meant to be a short little bit of fun during what was one of the busiest and most emotionally draining periods of my life. Somehow, it ended up over 14k long, and mostly explicit porn. Clearly, I needed a lot of stress relief! Sandor as a complete alpha male in the boudoir just seems to work for me, even though I'm not 100% convinced that it's IC for him.

4) Not an Honourable Man (ASOIAF | Sansa/Sandor | 5,441 hits)
It's hard to choose, but if I was forced to, this might well be my second most favourite fic ever. I did give some serious thought to re-writing it out as a full-length fic, but to do it justice it would have ended up novel-length and it was at the time that I wanted to start my original novel. But if anyone ever wanted to remix one of my fics, I would pay actual money to see this one done. Ye gads, I just love it, the claustrophobia of their life at Clegane Keep, the outward facade of Sansa's torturer that Sandor has to maintain and the juxtaposition of that with his 'true' identity of Sansa's protector. The way they live for years at an impasse, and the way it all comes to a head and Sandor realises that he must do more to protect her. The way they meet again on her turf, under her power, and finally come together as equals. It's got so many of my favourite themes, and so many of the plot threads and ideas I started to have from the end of the first book, when I first took notice of the pairing. I just don't think I'll ever get tired of re-reading this one, and that's saying something as I often can't look at one of my own fics again for months and months after posting.

5) Scars (ASOIAF | Sansa/Sandor | 4,052 hits)
Despite all the difficult themes I've chosen to cover in my S/S writings, this is the fic that makes me most uncomfortable. It's Sansa's extreme young age that does it (she is only 12 in this story, and I purposely did not age her up), but perhaps in a weird counterbalance, I also find it very comforting. There are autobiographical elements to this one, as well - more from twelve-year-old me's imaginings than from anything in real life, but that's why I find it so comforting, as a form of belated wish-fulfillment. I fully accept, though, that for others her age is a deal-breaker. I have certainly butted up against my own personal limits here, though, as I can't read anything more sexually... I don't know how to phrase this... intrusive, I guess, for a girl this age.

6) The Art of Daydreaming (ASOIAF | Sansa/Sandor | 3,620 hits)
When I saw first saw the two prompts that inspired this fic, I literally thought "what are these women on?" And then when I started writing, it was with a deep sense of horror at myself, and squinting sideways at the computer screen. There is some weird fucking kink in this fic, let me say. But I definitely get it, now ;) I can't say I'm completely happy with the result, but this is one of those fics that you just need to get out of your brain before it eats you alive. And since writing it, I do wish there were more fics in which Sansa skin-changes Sandor...

7) Fire in the Blood (ASOIAF | Sansa/Sandor | 3,381hits)
Yeah I don't know about this one... quite a few hits, not many comments. I half suspect that people have been lured in by the summary and then left disappointed. This is not one of my favourites, and was written really as a throwaway comment fic fill, so its popularity does surprise me a little.

8) Avalanche (ASOIAF | Sansa/Sandor | 3,271 hits)
Possibly my most rec'd fic (after Half-Way Gone above). It's a sequel to a fic that mysteriously has fewer hits... I don't really understand why people would read this one without reading the first one? Maybe it's people coming back for a second read, I don't know. Anyway, I had the idea for this sequel almost as soon as I'd finished the original, and then shadow_belle1 asked for more and she is both gorgeous and generous and so I totally caved! In the end it took a loooooong time to write it, and it was an incredibly painful process. At times, it felt like I was crow-barring the words out of my brain onto the page. So this is possibly the hardest and most reluctant fic I've ever written. I think it's possibly because I had pretty much planned out each chapter to the end - I don't usually know how a fic is going to end until I get a good half-way in, and that's part of what keeps me going. Not so in this case. But it was a gift for my girl, so I was determined to finish, and that's possibly the only reason it ever saw the light of day. That, and ownsariver just being a goddess <3 It's also the second longest thing I have ever written, which is bloody ironic given that the original plan was for it to be similar in structure to Not an Honourable Man - a series of short scenes/vignettes that nevertheless packed an emotional punch. I think I roundly failed, in that respect. Nevertheless, I am really proud of the outcome :)

9) Tumblr Ficlets (ASOIAF | Sansa/Sandor | 3,121 hits)
Nine little ficlets that I wrote from prompts on my tumblr, before I deleted it. I'm pretty pleased with all of them, but I'm still waiting for the Tommen/Rickon ship to really take off...

10) My Graceless Heart (ASOIAF | Sansa/Sandor | 3,040 hits)
Another one that, like Avalanche, was an utterly painful writing experience, but like Avalanche, it was a gift and so I had to suck it up and get it done. Again, I am glad that I persevered, because now that I can look at it without my eyeballs bleeding, I'm so pleased with the outcome. I would love to write a sequel to this one, but doing Sansa's experiences and character growth justice would be a long process, and so I doubt it will ever happen anywhere outside of my head (also it would be pretty angsty for quite a while, and I'm not sure I've got sustained angst in me anymore - too old!) but some of the themes I had wanted to adress are cropping up in Window in Your Heart, so I'm not too cut up about that. I'm currently in the proces of writing a DVD commentary for this fic, and at the risk of repeating myself, I think it needs acknowledging again that ownsariver is a goddess from heaven who really rescued this fic from mediocrity when I was at a place where I couldn't tell up from down anymore. If it takes a village, ownsariver is my chieftain :)

ownsariver gets her own tag, feminism, writing, meta, meme, gender, navel-gazing, fanfiction, pairing: sansa/sandor, pairing: arthur/eames

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