Back on the Downer (Part III)

[the_mikado]

So I'm feeling low again- hopefully its just post-holiday blues. Christmas is over, so that means another year of hating each other before we have to get all cheerful again. I'm trying to write a script for a short film right now- I have 14 days to do it in or i wont get the funding and it's nearly killing me: whenever I actually DO start writing I hate what I write- I know what I want, but I just cant seem to do it, do it well at least. Maybe I'm just being cynical about my work (most of the stuff people say I've wrote well is stuff I've hated whilst actually writing), but this isn't just for the hell of it, it's to actually be made into a short film and shown at festivals, so I want it to be good, not good 'for a school project'. And whatever I write just seems cliched; most of my ideas couldnt be made for the 500 quid im getting, so Im always having to compromise, which I dont want to do- it's infuriating. So I'm commiting myself to some solid writing tomorrow, and for the rest of the week pretty much, and hoping it comes out as I want it too. But it's just so fucking annoying. Shit. Who'd wanna be a writer if they were actually good at something else? Well, me for one, but I have no fucking clue why- I hope the directing goes better, though it probably wont. Still, if it all pays off eventually, I'll be happy- I'm thinking of the future you see- do this well now- I might one day have an actual budget to work with and can do the story I want to (or, better yet, ALL the stories I want to). I hope this works....

Alright, enough of my moaning- I suspect your all hungover still and dont want to hear it... Well, goodbye.