mmmhm
i would change my userpic cuz i really don't like it...but i don't have the time so i'll change it later....
so i take back everything i said. this is difficult for me. it's not supposed to be easy. sadly there aren't very many people who understand or appreciate that. i still don't understand all of the dynamics of this situation, but i'm beginning to, and a lot of them make me sad. the worst one right now is that my relationship with my friend lauren is suffering greatly due to all of this. :( i sent her a graduation gift...and even a super corny card.. hopefully that'll all work out okay.
and bleh...as far as nicole is concerned?? *shrug* i don't know what to think anymore. solution? don't think about it! :) i'm half-kidding. :-P we talked last week...briefly. didn't go so well. talking to her is like talking to a brick wall. :( not that it's her fault...i suppose she has to put up a wall when she's talking to me. maybe she's afraid to talk to me any other way. it just sucks though because it makes it sound like she just doesn't care anymore...about me or whatever's left of "us" (as friends, i mean. duh) or what's going to happen. it's pretty hard to talk to someone when you're getting those vibes. maybe she really DOESN'T care. if that were the case i wish she's just say so. i'd rather her just be honest with me. i may act pretty immature sometimes (well.....most of the time, actually, when it comes to this stuff...) but that doesn't mean i can't handle the truth. *shrug...again* i'm calling her on thursday. i don't know what we're going to say but i know i'm not going to be in a one-sided conversation with her, and just can't talk to a stoic. i've got a few ounces of effort left in me to make this okay. i don't know what's happened to her, but it seems like all bets are off and she just isn't interested anymore. we'll see. i shall update, at a later date. maybe then i'll even write about FUN things!! like dancing and my computer and work and my car and chris and my girls and and and and yeah. :) have a fabulous day!
so i take back everything i said. this is difficult for me. it's not supposed to be easy. sadly there aren't very many people who understand or appreciate that. i still don't understand all of the dynamics of this situation, but i'm beginning to, and a lot of them make me sad. the worst one right now is that my relationship with my friend lauren is suffering greatly due to all of this. :( i sent her a graduation gift...and even a super corny card.. hopefully that'll all work out okay.
and bleh...as far as nicole is concerned?? *shrug* i don't know what to think anymore. solution? don't think about it! :) i'm half-kidding. :-P we talked last week...briefly. didn't go so well. talking to her is like talking to a brick wall. :( not that it's her fault...i suppose she has to put up a wall when she's talking to me. maybe she's afraid to talk to me any other way. it just sucks though because it makes it sound like she just doesn't care anymore...about me or whatever's left of "us" (as friends, i mean. duh) or what's going to happen. it's pretty hard to talk to someone when you're getting those vibes. maybe she really DOESN'T care. if that were the case i wish she's just say so. i'd rather her just be honest with me. i may act pretty immature sometimes (well.....most of the time, actually, when it comes to this stuff...) but that doesn't mean i can't handle the truth. *shrug...again* i'm calling her on thursday. i don't know what we're going to say but i know i'm not going to be in a one-sided conversation with her, and just can't talk to a stoic. i've got a few ounces of effort left in me to make this okay. i don't know what's happened to her, but it seems like all bets are off and she just isn't interested anymore. we'll see. i shall update, at a later date. maybe then i'll even write about FUN things!! like dancing and my computer and work and my car and chris and my girls and and and and yeah. :) have a fabulous day!