RP: It Still Feels Like Home

[kylewalker92]

Date: October 5, 2011
Characters: Kyle Walker, Neve Stadheim, Mackenzie, Bryn, and Shelby Stadeheim (NPCs)
Location: The Stadeheim-Loy Residence
Status: Private
Summary: Kyle comes to get the rest of his things.
Completion: Incomplete

Comments

[neve_stadheim]

Neve had never been in this situation before - dealing with something like this. But she realized that nothing she said would make it better or help Kyle understand why Ezra had broken up with him. At nineteen it always seemed like every little change in your life was the end of the world, and although Neve felt that maybe this would make both guys stronger somehow, she didn't think voicing that would be a good idea. "Kyle, you don't need to thank me for letting you come by." She said simply.

She smiled faintly. "The girls are in the living room, or actually Mack and Bryn are in the living room and Shelby's doing homework at the kitchen table." Neve explained, nodding when Kyle went on. "The girls already know what happened, Ezra did his best to explain it to them." And Neve hadn't stepped in, it as Ezra's place to talk to the girls about it. They were adjusting like everyone else in the house was, and Neve figured they were doing better with it because they weren't unfamiliar with change. "He didn't tell me, but I'm glad you've got someone to lean on, Kyle." She was glad that he wasn't alone in working through the break up.

[kylewalker92]

Kyle shook his head. "You could have had Ezra pack it all up and gotten Der to pick it up," he murmured. "I just... I don't wanna lose you guys too." They were Ezra's family first but they were his family, too and he was going to lose all of them.

After nodding slightly at her words, he slipped through into the house, chewing his lip, not entirely sure what the reception would be. Would they blame him? He blamed himself for doing whatever it was he did to make Ezra fall out of love with him. Quietly, living up to his nickname, he stood at the entrance to the living room, waiting for either Bryn or Mack to look up and see him and trying not to fidget. Fuck, all he wanted to do was fall into that space on the couch and never leave again.

[neve_stadheim]

Neve shook her head and frowned. "Kyle, that wasn't my place to ask Ezra to do something like that. If that's what you wanted, you could have asked him." She wasn't trying to be mean, but it really wasn't her place to step into her brother's personal affairs like that. "Nobody is losing anyone, but it is going to be awkward for awhile." She couldn't lie and say everything would be normal, because it wouldn't be, not for a very long time.

Mackenzie was the first to notice Kyle, and she smiled at him before she spoke. "Hey." Being nine years old she was aware of what had happened, but she didn't know how Kyle would treat them anymore. "How're you?" Mack asked, eying Kyle and wondering if he was going to come into the living room further or not, and unsure if she should or could get up to hug him or not.

[kylewalker92]

"I didn't," he whispered. "Didn't want all of this. Just. I just want to come home," he said haltingly. "Miss you guys." Kyle bit his lip, hand wrapping the chain again. "Can... Can I hug you?" God, he hoped she didn't turn him away. It had taken a lot to ask, and he thought it would break his heart all over again if she said no.

His eyes drank them in and he took a half step into the living room, still not sure of his welcome. "Hey Mackadoodle." Was that his voice cracking? He took another step and then opened his arms slightly. "I'm. Surviving." He was. Barely, but he was. Being here, it was like a balm on an open wound. "How are you guys?" He stepped further in and then gave up, crossing to the couch and pulling both girls into a hug. "I've missed you guys."

[neve_stadheim]

Neve was more than familiar with life giving you things you didn't want, and coping with it came with age, and Kyle was still young. "Kyle, sometimes we don't get to choose." She replied quietly, wondering how to answer the last part of his statement. It was an awkward situation she had been put in, because Kyle had become a part of the household, but seven months didn't overrule twenty one years, and Neve had to think of Ezra's feelings in all of this. Nodding her head, Neve smiled warmly. "Of course you can." Her heart went out to Kyle, she knew this was tough for him, and she couldn't make it go away, but if a small gesture like a hug could make it marginally better Neve wasn't about to turn him down.

Mackenzie frowned, Kyle looked really sad and the nine year old thought it was probably because he wasn't living with them anymore. The complexities of a break up were beyond her, she just knew that her Uncle and Kyle weren't together anymore. "Good." Mack replied, although she kind of thought that he didn't look like he was surviving well. "I'm doing okay." She shrugged, glancing over at Bryn who sat on the couch kind of watching Kyle. The six year old understood Kyle wasn't living with them anymore, but the concept of a break up wasn't exactly something she was familiar with. When Kyle came over to the couch and hugged them, both girls hugged him back. "Miss you too." Mackenzie echoed while Bryn just settled in against Kyle's side, still not saying a word.

[kylewalker92]

Kyle laughed bitterly. "I think I of all people had known that, Neve," he murmured. He refused to become That Boy again though, he thought as he moved to hug her, trying not to cling. He didn't want to leave, didn't want to let go.

"Yeah?" Kyle asked softly when Mack said she was doing okay. He wrapped his arms around them, feeling something loosen in his chest and bit down on the sob that wanted to escape. God, he'd missed the girls, too. "Brynnie?" he asked quietly, rubbing her back softly. "How are you doing?" She was so quiet, he worried.

He took a breath before speaking. "Y'guys remember Derrick and Fisher? I'm staying with them right now. But maybe eventually I'll be able to get my own place and you'll be able to visit me, if your Mom lets you." He was back to being a stray, he realized, not having a place of his own.

[neve_stadheim]

Neve didn't reply to his murmured comment, she didn't know what she could say that would make this easier on Kyle. Her heart really did go out to him, but there wasn't anything she could do beyond what she was doing right now, hugging him. Words were just words, and nothing anyone said would really help him to heal unless he was ready to heal.

Mack nodded. "Yeah." the nine year old repeated herself, wrinkling her nose when Kyle called Bryn 'Brynnie' she couldn't remember anyone ever calling her sister that before. Bryn tilted her head as she peered at Kyle, shrugging slightly. "I'm good." The six year old wondered if she was supposed to say something else, if she was supposed to not be okay.

Both girls nodding when Kyle asked if they remembered Derrick and Fisher, and Mackenzie looked at Kyle seriously when he talked about getting his own place. "Yeah? You'd have to ask Mom that. But I'd want to see your place."

[kylewalker92]

Kyle tried not to sniffle as he pulled back. "I know... I know it can't happen right away, but... you guys were my family too, even if it was just for a few months. Y'all will always be important to me." They'd accepted him fully, and he couldn't believe they just didn't care anymore. People didn't work like that, did they? Of course, he supposed that if they did, he would be the one that people didn't care about. He'd gotten to use to have things like love and family. "I don't wanna give you up." He didn't know if he was making any sense to Neve or not.

"That's good. How's... your friend, Abby?" he asked Bryn, trying to regain that feel of normal before he had to head down into the basement and pack up his life. "And yeah, if I get a place of my own, I'll talk to your mom first, Mack." He hugged her again, needing the contact. "N't just gonna disappear," he whispered, knowing full well that it might be easier on all of them if he did. But damn it, Ezra had brought him into this family and he wasn't just going to let him kick him out of it.

[neve_stadheim]

Neve smiled sympathetically, and nodded slightly. "All I can say is give it time." She answered softly, she couldn't say when or if it would ever not be awkward. She wasn't going to tell Kyle that he wasn't welcome though, because he had become a part of the family. "I know, and nobody is saying you have to, it will just be an adjustment." Though Neve wasn't going to make things awkward for either Ezra or Kyle, they would have to figure out on their own when they both felt comfortable moving in the same circles again.

Bryn practically beamed when Kyle asked about Abby. "She's good." She answered in a very six year old manner. "Good, Mom'll say 'yes' I'm sure." Mackenzie replied, grinning brightly. Neither girl objected to the hugs, both smiling when Kyle said he wasn't going to disappear. "Okay." the chirped in unison, not entirely sure why Kyle was assuring them he wasn't going to disappear. They both understood Kyle wasn't living with them anymore, but neither girl fully understood what a break up meant, entirely.

[kylewalker92]

Kyle couldn't stop the sigh, but nodded. "Can..." he pulled out the letter he had shoved into his pocket. "Can you give this to Ez? When you think he might be ready to read it?" He'd thought long and hard about the words he'd put inside of it, debated whether or not to even leave it. But he trusted Neve to know when the best time would be.

Cracking what felt like a rare smile as the girls spoke, he relaxed even further into the couch enjoying the moment. "Should go say hi to Shelby, shouldn't I? Think she'd welcome the homework interruption?" She'd been the first one out of the sister to call him Uncle, and he didn't know how to tell them that he would always be their uncle, even without him and Ezra being together. That he loved them just as much as he loved Ezra.

[neve_stadheim]

Neve glanced down at the letter Kyle held out to her. "Kyle." She paused, not wanting to get in the middle of this break up, she couldn't lie and say she was neutral party. "It's not my place to do something like that. If you want him to have that letter you need to do it yourself or leave it for him downstairs." Neve wouldn't be the judge to decide when she thought Ezra was ready to read whatever was in that later, especially because she didn't know what was written in it, and didn't want to know. "I'm sorry Kyle, I just really don't feel like it's my place to get in the middle of this."

Mackenzie shrugged. "Probably, she was doing math last time I was in there." Shelby had moreso been staring at her math homework and muttering under her breath that she wished Ezra was around to help her. "So are you going to go say 'hi'?" Mack asked, eying Kyle curiously.

[kylewalker92]

"Oh." Kyle recoiled when Neve refused. "I... I didn't mean for you to get in the middle. Just... trusted you to know when Ezra would be ready to read it. I don't want to..." He shrugged. "I don't know." He still didn't understand why Ezra had broken up with him, what he had done and he'd written that in the letter. That he hoped one day that he could understand. "I'll... I'll figure it out," he said softly. Just like he'd have to figure out the rest of his life, the life he'd planned on spending on forever with Ezra. He rubbed at his tattoo, not sure what to say now. He hadn't expected Neve to say no.

"Yeah." He stood. "I want to see her." Say goodbye to her as well, he thought as he headed towards the kitchen, trying to commit each detail to memory. He stood in the doorway for a moment, watching Shelby stare at her homework. "Shelbs?" he said softly, not wanting to startle her..