RP: It's That Time Again

[shoshana_wise]

Date: August 30th, 2011
Characters: Rori Milburn, Shoshana Wise
Location: Iron Hollow Farm
Status: Private
Summary: Shosh thinks it's about time to bug the hell out of Rori again.
Completion: Complete

Comments

[rori_milburn]

Rori cringed in on herself, head ducking and letting all the hair that had fallen from her bun into her face. It wasn't that she'd wanted to hide this part of herself, but it was fucking terrifying in the world they lived in sometimes. "Because no one fucking knows, Shosh. Cody was it since I figured it out growing up. And I'd gladly listen to you yammer on guys for years more, honestly. I just... god, even if I knew you don't care, I still didn't really know!" She looked pleadingly over at Shosh, trying to keep from tearing up. She didn't cry often, but this was one subject that always made her feel bad. "God, you know what people will say if they find out! You've worked with them and ridden with them for years! Tell me you don't know exactly what they'll say!"

Always knew that Rori was a dike. Don't let your kids ride with her, she'll touch them. Everything she'd ever done would be over scrutinized, and she sure as hell wouldn't have a reputation she could cash in anymore. "But I'm sorry. For not telling you," she whispered, ducking her head.

She shook her head, sending the remainder of her bun bouncing. "No. No, you'd probably terrify her." She hesitated, biting her lower lip. She was going to have some apologizing to do to Ava later. Very softly she said, "You remember Ava, right? She's like me, no one really knows." She wondered if Shosh knew how utterly terrifying it was.

She snorted softly and flapped her hand. "Even with that, I'll always have time for you and Sloane." Sloane might be the only kid she'd ever have, in a manner of speaking. She loved Shosh's little girl.

[shoshana_wise]

Shosh sighed and gave Rori a serious look, there was no way she could convince her friend that nobody would judge her; because she did know the people they grew up around and they were fond of judging people. But she could guarantee that she wouldn't judge her. "I'm not going to sit here and bitch at you for not telling me, God, Rori. I know you had your reasons, just, I want you to know that I'll always fucking support you. So now you know that no matter what you've got me in your corner, you've always got me, okay." She sighed softly. "People always talk, that'll never change. Fuck what they think, does it really matter?" Maybe that was the difference between her and Rori. Shosh didn't give a damn what everyone else thought about her, but then again she had never had a secret like this before, so maybe she didn't know exactly what Rori was dealing with.

She didn't need an apology or want an apology, Rori had her reasons for not telling her; and Shosh couldn't and wouldn't hold it against her. "Hey, no. God, I don't need you to apologize. You've told me now and that's all that fucking matters to me." she replied quietly, wishing Rori was looking at her and not at the ground.

Trying to fight a smile, Shosh held her hands up in surrender. "Okay, I will not do the best friend speech, promise." Of course she wanted to, but if she didn't want to run off Rori's girlfriend if it would terrify her. "Yeah, I remember her." She paused, realizing that Rori didn't exactly say that Ava was who she was dating. "And I'm just going to assume by mentioning Ava. That's you clearly saying that's who you're with?" Shosh didn't normally need things spelled out for her, but in this situation she kind of did.

Smiling brightly, Shosh couldn't help but be glad to know that Rori would still have time for her and Sloane. "Good, because you're not getting me out of your life that easy." She teased lightly. "And you know that's a two way street right? I'll always have time for you." Even with everything going on with Jase and that huge shift in her own life, Shosh would always make time for one of her best friends.

[rori_milburn]

"It matters because I'm trying to cash in on my reputation. How many people will let their kids train with me once this gets out?" Rori said, wrapping her arms around herself tightly. She still remembered the last cowboy who'd been outed, and how his career had been ruined. Even though she as pretty sure he'd never touched a kid wrong or done anything bad, he'd packed himself out of Texas and the horse world, as far as she knew, pretty quickly.

Rori sighed and finally looked up at Shosh. "I am sorry, though. I just... it never seemed to matter 'cause I wasn't going to have anything happen. Then I finally move here and I meet someone and yeah, it's sometimes complicated but it's also so great..." Because fuck, she was crazy head-over-heels about Ava.

Rori was just scared what Ava might think if Shosh approached her. THough they were both better about things, they were also both still jumpy, and Ava was a hell of a lot shyer than she had ever been. Rori pushed her escaping hair back out of her face and bit her lower lip, nodding. Oh, she was so going to have to apologize to Ava later. "Yeah, she's my girl," Rori agreed softly, feeling guilty for outing her, but really wanting to be able to talk to Shosh about her life as well.

"I know you will," Rori said. It might not be as much time, but they'd figure it out. And maybe someday they'd stop being workaholics and have more time to hang out together.

[shoshana_wise]

"Fuck, I know. Why the hell does the world have to so fucking close-minded?" Shosh wasn't trying to rage about this, but she felt like being upset about the fact that he best friend had to hide this was the only thing she could do. She moved towards Rori, and without asking if it was okay she tugged her friend into a hug. "I'd still let my kid train with you, I mean besides me you're the best damn rider I know." Her voice was quieter now, and Shosh didn't know what to say to make this better; because she knew the people they dealt with and knew what they had done before to others who had come out, and God, she wouldn't wish that on her best friend ever.

Shosh smiled slightly. "Hey, you're telling me now, right? So why dwell on the fucking past, it doesn't change it, God knows I know that." If it did her Dad would still be alive. "Great? So you're happy, yeah?" Pushing for details wasn't in the cards, but if Rori wanted to give them Shosh would more than gladly listen - but she was going to let it be on Rori's terms and not hers.

Approaching Rori's girlfriend was out of the question, letting Rori talk to Jase had been one thing - because Shosh knew her boyfriend wouldn't be scared off. But if Rori said her girl would be scared by Shosh talking to her about hurting Rori, well, Shosh wouldn't do it. She wasn't going to fuck up Rori's happiness just to make sure this girl didn't fuck with her friend's heart. "Ava? Fuck, really?" Shosh had only met the girl a handful of times at most, but she liked her. "So? Are you going to gush like a fourteen year old girl? It would make me feel less silly about my previous Jase rant." So she maybe didn't mind flailing about her now boyfriend, but Shosh still kind of felt silly for having acted like a teenager over a guy and three kisses.

"Always. I've been a thorn in your side since we were little, and that's not changing now that we're both in relationships." Shosh replied, smiling brightly, "Fuck, we're both in relationships....is that a sign of like the end of the fucking world or something?"

[rori_milburn]

Rori leaned into the hug, wrapping her arms around Shosh and hugging her tightly back. She found she needed the reassurance, even if this wasn't exactly how she and Shosh usually were with each other most of the time, though there had been moments in their pasts. "Thanks. One student, at least," Rori said, sniffing back the sensation of tears in her throat. She would not be a little idiot and actually cry over this shit right now.

"Yeah, happy," she said softly. "I'm like, crazy about her, so yeah." And while she'd had her crushes over the years, it had never been like this, or anythign that grew as intense as this felt to have.

Rori nibbled on the outside of her thumb, a long time habit she'd had since she was a kid, and nodded confirmation to Shosh. She chuckled quietly, ducking her head. "Cody calls her my poofy haired crush, or at least he used to," she said with a faint grin. "She's just, she's really great. She's smart and makes me laugh and..." she trailed off, trying to find words. She did feel like a silly teenager with her first love because in a lot of ways she was--she'd never had a girlfriend or a real lover like most people, for all she was in her twenties. "And I can kiss her anytime I want when we're not in public," she added half-shyly, half-slyly, though that was about as far as she was comfortable, yet, going about anything.

She laughed, startling a horse in a stall briefly. "Sign of the apocalypse," she agreed. "The world is doomed."

[shoshana_wise]

These moments were rare in which they would act a bit more like girls and do the whole 'hugging and/or crying thing' But that didn't mean they didn't happen, and Shosh was just damn glad she could be there for Rori, reassure her that no matter who Rori chose to love, she'd always be able to find support in her. "You're welcome, Fuck, you know you've always got me and I still hold to the fact Sloane'll listen to you better than she'll ever listen to me when it comes to riding." She could hear the tone in Rori's voice, and wouldn't hold it against her friend if she were to cry right now.

"Fuck, good. You deserve to be happy." She replied honestly. "Crazy, thought you went crazy years ago." She was only teasing, and soon enough she was going serious again. "Really though, I'm glad you've found someone who makes you happy and that I finally get to know about her."

Shosh laughed and fought the urge to tell Rori to stop chewing on her damn thumb, after all these years she was used to it. "Oh one of Cody's lovely nicknames, least hers is better than mine." She laughed, rolling her eyes slightly at Cody's nickname for Rori's girl. "She better be damn good to you, as well." The words were out before she could stop them, but Shosh meant it. Everything else was all fine and great, but if Ava wasn't good to Rori then Shosh would have words for her. "You know I'm not going to ask for details, but I sure as fucking hope you've done more than just kiss." And god it was horrible that Rori could only kiss her girlfriend behind closed doors, but Shosh wasn't going to weigh in on that because it was just piss her off more - for her friend's sake - that Rori had to hide who she was to keep her career.

Joining in Rori's laughter, Shosh grinned. "So fucking doomed, and hell, who would have picked us falling for the people we did, right?" It wasn't a secret that Jase was a far cry from the type of guy anyone would have picked for her, but she was happy, god, more than happy with him, she could see a future with him, one where maybe she didn't turn into her mother and leave.

[rori_milburn]

Rori laughed so she wouldn't cry. It was so fucking good to know that someone besides Cody could know and not hate her or want to walk out on her. Not that she thought Shosh would, but it had still be an irrational fear present all of these years. "I know." She squeezed Shosh. "That's 'cause you're her mama, of course she's not going to listen to you that much." She sniffed again, brushing her thumbs under her eyes self consciously as she released Shosh, glad to find only a little moisture.

She snorted softly. "Crazier, then," she retorted. She grinned back though, so utterly relieved that Shosh was happy for her. "She's the only girlfriend I've had," she said almost abruptly, wanting to let Shosh know that she hadn't been hiding much else. "Only a couple of crushes, one that really kinda blew up on me." She frowned at the memory.

It was a nervous habit, one she'd had since she stopped sucking her thumb when she was little. "She is, honest, Shosh. I mean, we've got issues with the whole," she flapped her hand in the air, "ahhhhh, um. Being girls thing," she said, still having trouble saying 'gay.' "But she is good to me." She flushed at the mention of more than kissing. "Yeah, a bit," she replied, remembering Ava's hand the other day, and her mouth on her breasts, and how Ava writhed against her sometimes.

"Y'mean educated city folks?" Rori said with a grin. Maybe, one day in the future when Ava might be comfortable with the idea, and if Shosh's boyfriend was open minded... maybe they could have dinner together. That might soothe the awkwardness she felt around Jase, the feeling of having nothing in common with him. She liked him, she supposed, she just... had very little in common with him.

[shoshana_wise]

Shosh had a feeling Rori maybe expect her to respond differently, although her friend should have known her well enough to know that nothing would or could ever change the way Shosh felt about Rori. There was no point in dwelling on the fact she hadn't known this all these years, because Rori had told her now and that was all that mattered. "Good, you better damn well know it and believe it. You're stuck with my unpleasant ass for the rest of your life, I'm not that easy to get rid of." Shosh teased, smirking as Rori gave her a squeeze. "True, and we both know she'll listen to Cody better than either of us." She gave her friend a reassuring smile, glad that she seemed mostly okay with having told her about this.

She smirked and gave a little nod. "Soon the guys in white coats will be dragging your ass away." Though if they came for Rori it was likely she'd be next. "Although that only girlfriend you've got might miss you something wicked if they do." She continued her smirk turning just a hair wicked. "Only a couple? And fuck, one blew up in your face?" Shosh was wondering how she couldn't have known any of this was going on, obviously she needed to pay better attention to her friends.

In all honesty Shosh had a feeling that she didn't need to worry about Ava treating Rori right, the few times Shosh had met her the other woman seemed nice if a little quiet. "Good, because I'd have to break that vow not to say anything to her if she wasn't." She fought not to laugh when Rori flapped her hand and seemed a loss for words. "Yeah well most relationships are fucking complicated, you've just added another level." So Shosh couldn't even begin to figure out what it was like to try and have a relationship that part of the worlds population looked down upon; her heart really went out to Rori in that respect. "Good, though I'm not kidding when I say I don't need details.....I might be a big mouth and subject you to much information. Totally don't expect you to do the same, though." Shosh laughed, wanting Rori to know she wasn't pushing for information; she was just happy that her friend was happy.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I mean." Shosh replied with a smirk. "You've got your quiet little scientist and I've got my former football player pretty boy." Sure Shosh had done the whole higher education thing herself, but it had mostly been to please her Dad and she'd gone into something she knew already.

[rori_milburn]

"My favorite thorn ever," Rori said with a grin, feeling a little better about things--and like she'd had a weight taken off her, not completely, but at least a bit. She laughed and nodded. "Yes, for whatever reason, she will listen to Cody better than either of us." For all that Cody was the bull rider and they were the horse riders.

"It was just a crush. Seemed like she was like me, y'know? But we kissed and she was into it and then she wasn't, and God, she said things." Rori's shoulders hunched at the memory. "It was before those, like, six months I barely talked to anyone. Did every fucking rodeo I could without hurting the horses."

"Yeah, I rather have, haven't I?" she mused with a slight sigh. She didn't precisely have a choice in it, though, because it wasn't Ava, it was her own sexual preference that was the problem. She knew herself though, and... well, eventually she might be confident enough to not care what other people thought. "I trust ya even with your mouth," Rori said lightly. "Don't expect too much, yeah. I guess I'm fucking shy, who knew," she said, though that wasn't it precisely. She couldn't quite pin her finger on it.

"Ah, football. You just wanted you a sports boy," Rori teased, razzing her a little. Rori didn't quite view her friend among that 'educated' bracket because to her Shosh had sense, which many of the rich and educated people she knew didn't have. Shosh was smart, to her, and not just because of her education.

[shoshana_wise]

"You're favorite thorn, huh?" Shosh joked, smirking slightly. "Maybe I should have that printed on a shirt or some shit like that, prove that I've got a least one person who enjoys my thorniness." Okay so she had more than just Rori who put up with her, but Rori had been doing it the longest. "God, y'know there's some days I wonder if he's got my little girl under some kind of spell." It had been like this from day one, Sloane had always had a fondness for Cody that Shosh just didn't understand.

"Fuck, Rori, that's horrible." Shosh breathed, frowning. "Holy hell, you mean that's why you turned into a mute on everyone?" She remembered those six months, and now it made so much sense. "I'm not going to say you should have told me, but y'know if you had I would have kicked her fucking ass for you." Because this was Rori, and nobody was allowed to fuck with her best friend like that, and Shosh had never backed down from a fight.

"You have, but it's not exactly like you can choose who you love, right?" She countered, kind of aware that love didn't exactly give you a choice. Though she was rather fond of who love had picked out for her, even if he wasn't who everyone else thought she'd end up with. "Hey, I've got a fucking mouth on me, but I don't break promises or tell secrets that aren't mine to tell." Shosh knew Rori was mostly just ribbing her. "I won't, and I can't say I would have ever pegged you as shy." She answered, and she kind of thought it wasn't exactly true, Rori just had a complicated love life that she wasn't exactly keen on talking about.

"Eh, you got me all figured out, I've always had a secret love for football players." Shosh quipped, smirking slightly. "Truly though, you might not get it but there's just something about Jase." And Shosh had to think that Rori would understand that sometimes the person you ended up with didn't always make sense.

[rori_milburn]

Rori laughed. "T-shirt, fuck. That would be hilarious," she said. "We would have to get matching ones--the Thorny girls or some such shit." The thought was amusing at the very least. "Fuck, I know, right? It's magic, that."

Rori shrugged uncomfortably. "Sort of, yeah. Couldn't say nothin', y'know? And it hurt, and it was stupid. And I thought she might tell." There was still that chance. It was terrifying, but not quite as much so as it used to be. Exposure to it lessened her fear somewhat, though it was by no means small yet. "I know. I didn't even really tell Cody. Just threw myself into riding." It'd gotten her some trophies and prizes that year.

"No, we can't. Kinda glad I can't at this point." Or she'd never have met someone as awesome as Ava. "Shit, yeah, I know that. You'd never say anything." Shosh might have a mouth, but she trusted her absolutely. She wouldn't distrust that, ever. She grinned, knowing shy wasn't quite the right term, but also knowing that Shosh probably understood what she meant.

"Sports nut," she teased. "Yeah, I know that feeling, at least. Just something about Ava that..." She shrugged, unable to find the words to put to it.

[shoshana_wise]

Shosh smirked. "So fucking hilarious." she agreed. "Hell, course we'd have to have matching ones." It was nice to get back to a lighter topic, Shosh was glad Rori had told her, but she was also happy to see her smiling again and not so worried. "God, something like that. One day I half expect to find out he's gone and brainwashed her or some shit like that."

She wished there was something she could do for Rori, something to make this all less uncomfortable. "God, I hate to sound like a broken record, and I know you had your reasons. But I wish you would have said something, y'know." She wasn't trying to make Rori feel guilty and this was all in the past, but it didn't stop Shosh from wishing she could have supported her friend while she went through this. "Thank god for riding, sometimes it saves us from ourselves." Granted Shosh had pulled away from riding right after her Dad's death, but she had still worked with her horses, hell, she had spent most her days out in the barn with them.

"Good, because you shouldn't fucking wish to change yourself." Shosh wanted to make it 100% certain that she accepted Rori exactly the way she was, and wouldn't want her friend to change anything about herself. "I'd die before I said anything." And she wouldn't, this wasn't her secret to tell and anyway she was protective as hell of Rori.

"Yeah well, Dad was a staunch Cowboy's fan." She countered, smirking slightly. Her Dad really had been a football fan, so Shosh had seen her fair share of games. "Hard to put your finger on, yeah?" Shosh felt the same way about Jase. He was amazing, caring, put up with her unpleasant ass most days and never complained.

[rori_milburn]

Rori shrugged. "I should've, I know. But I was still on the damn circuit and I was scared. Every time I ran into her it was that all over again, with her stupid smirk and all that shit. Hid out with the horses and Cody." She still hated to see her, hear her name. "It really does, yeah. Dunno what I woulda done without it." In that way at least she had been lucky.

It was reassuring to hear Shosh saying she would support her again. Though she had always known her friend was pretty open minded in her head, her emotions weren't exactly as rational. "I know you would. You're the best," she with a grin. She really did trust her friend. None of her secrets had ever left Shosh that she knew of, unlike a lot of the other women on the circuit who would backstab if they thought it would get them ahead.

"Exactly. Don't really know what she sees in me, but I'm glad she sees something she likes," Rori agreed. She was very lucky to have found anyone at all, considering her lifestyle.

[shoshana_wise]

Shosh nodded. "Hey, hey. Can't change the fucking past, right? So I won't dwell on it and you shouldn't either." She replied, the past ten months had sort of come to prove that to her. "And let her fucking smirk, she's just another one of those girls we despised growing up, right?" They had always had their own little clique and avoided the backstabbing and gossip of the circuit. "Exactly, thank god for horses."

She couldn't blame Rori for being worried as to how she would react to all of this, but she wasn't bothered by the fact that Rori was clearly into women. She was still Rori and still Shosh's oldest friend and had been her partner in crime for too many years to let something like this change that; and anyway it didn't change anything. "Yes well you've always known I'm the best, this is just reiterating that." She smiled brightly, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"I know that feeling." Shosh laughed. "Not sure what Jase sees in me, but he obviously sees something he likes so I'm not complaining." And she wasn't, she couldn't figure out why Jase put up with her most days, but she wasn't going to try and change that - because she was pretty sure she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him; that was if she didn't turn into her Mom and flake out on him.

[rori_milburn]

"Yeah, she was, basically," Rori admitted. Which was embarrassing to admit, but when you're on the road all the time and around the same set of people, you did have to interact and form relationships--even if they blew up in your face upon occasion. "It was a shitty decision on my part, I'll tell you that." But you couldn't help it, like they'd said.

Rori grinned. "Yes, you are the best," she had to agree, because especially with how she was dealing with this news just confirmed it for her. She flung her arms around Shosh again and squeezed, pecking her on the cheek in a very not-gay way just to prove that she really was the bestest in the friend category right now. She had been incredibly lucky to compete against Shosh all those years ago and end up getting a best friend outside of her brother.

"Well, you're the bestest, so that's what he sees," she teased with a grin. "Seriously, girl, you're better than good for him. He said you bring out the best in him." Which honestly Rori could believe, though it wasn't completely her fault that she didn't always trust men or people of a different social class than her--she'd been burned before. But Jase had seemed sincere, and if he wasn't, well... she'd be there for Shosh to kick some ass. She just hoped that never had to happen.

[shoshana_wise]

Shosh wrinkled her nose, and avoided mentioning the one and only crush she had ever formed while competing. And she would take that information to the grave, because there wasn't a chance in hell she'd ever let it get back to him. "Well when we see 'em day in and day out it's bound to happen, right?" She remarked, shrugging slightly. "And maybe it was, but like I said, can't change the fucking past, no matter how much you wish you could."

She smirked. "Damn straight I am." she remarked, jokingly puffing out her chest in a show of pride. Shosh didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around Rori when she flung her arms around her, because hell, she wasn't worried that Rori was going to pull anything with her, Shosh was pretty damn sure she wasn't Rori's type - not if Ava was her current girl. "Seriously though, you and I, we've been through way to much to let something like this be an issue, which I'm going to reiterate that it's not." And it wasn't and would never be.

"Don't know, think you're all crazy honestly." she quipped, shaking her head slightly. She gapped at Rori's next words, shocked that Jase had not only said that, but said that to Rori. "Ooooh." Wow, intelligent response, but she couldn't believe she brought out the best in anyone, it just wasn't in her, or at least she didn't think it was. "He said that?"