RP: It's That Time Again

[shoshana_wise]

Date: August 30th, 2011
Characters: Rori Milburn, Shoshana Wise
Location: Iron Hollow Farm
Status: Private
Summary: Shosh thinks it's about time to bug the hell out of Rori again.
Completion: Complete

Comments

[shoshana_wise]

"Did I say it wasn't?" Shosh shot back with a laugh. "Sometimes I do manage to drag my ass off the ranch, and yes my Mini-me is at home harassing Graham." And Noah, who had dropped by earlier that day. Graham really was trying to connect with his kid, but Shosh wasn't about to try and explain Graham's discovery of a long lost son to Rori, not now anyway.

"Yeah well, just expect to return the favor sometime." she teased. Honestly helping Rori with this wasn't hard, wasn't like she was unfamiliar with the whole process and they could still talk while doing it.

Laughing softly, Shosh nodded. "Yeah, I failed to mention that, huh?" Clearly she really needed to keep Rori in the loop on the things that went on in her life. "Fuck, even the word's kind of unreal. Me, with a boyfriend...." If anyone knew her aversion to commitment it was Rori, and yet so far she had managed over a month without fucking anything up with Jase, yet. "Well that's a glowing review." Finishing up her side of the aisle Shosh stepped out of the last stall and moved over to where Rori was. "And who would you have pegged for me?" Yeah, So Jase wasn't her usual 'type' - but he also wasn't exactly Mr. Corporate America, and there was no denying Jase was hot and that definitely was her type.

[rori_milburn]

"It was implied," Rori sniffed with mock superiority before breaking down and grinning. "Alas for Graham, poor beseiged man. How is he, and you, and the ranch, doing?" She asked curiously, shoving all the question into one sentence. She was just evil like that.

"As if I wouldn't," she said with a smile. She'd stop by sometime and give her friend a hand no problem.

"Well yeah, I kinda figure I'd remember being told Shoshana Wise of all people had a boyfriend," Rori said jokingly. She understood Shosh's issues about relationships and she'd always been a willing ear for the troubled times.

Rori shrugged slightly, wishing she could be more glowing. It wasn't that she didn't like him, he just made her wary. And she just didn't want Shosh to be hurt. "I dunno. Someone from a ranching family, one of the good cowboys or someone. Not a dress seller from the city," she said wryly. Though really, who would peg her with Ava? "So long as he treats you right I'm thrilled though. And does Sloane like him?" She was curious on that.

[shoshana_wise]

"Well, Fuck. You went and figured me out." Shosh quipped, holding her own serious look for just a beat longer than Rori's mock-superiority. "Don't pity Graham, his annoying ass deserves everything he has to deal with. And he's....good." She paused, taking in the rest of Rori's questions. "Honestly? I'm doing good, and the ranch is keeping it's head above water. This drought hasn't been great to us, but we're getting by a lot better than some." She was good, better than good actually, and part of her had to think that was because of Jase.

Nodding, Shosh grinned. "Yeah, I know you would." That was just something you did for each other sometimes, though they were both so busy Shosh never expected Rori to stop out 'just because' those visits were rare at best now.

"So I fail as a friend." Shosh replied with a laugh. "God, there's just something about Jase. Dating him, being a girlfriend doesn't seem so fucking terrifying with him. " Sure she was still waiting for the day she fucked up, but until that time came she was going to enjoy every minute she had with him. "Also for your information, sleeping with him didn't get him out of my system." Did the opposite actually, but she figured she didn't need to tell Rori that.

Shosh wasn't exactly bothered by Rori's lack of a wordy review on Jase. After all, it wasn't like her best friend knew him the same way she did. She appreciated the concern or wariness that Rori was clearly displaying, but Shosh didn't think her friend had any reason to feel that way. "Never been interested in cowboys, you know this." She paused and pulled a face at the 'dress seller' comment. "And my city boy dress seller is fucking hot." Not to mention a good guy, who cared about both her and Sloane. "Rori, he honestly treats me better than any guy I've ever been with and Sloane likes him a lot, has since the first time I stopped into the Affair though; so this isn't new or news." Her little girl might even adore Jase more than she did, and that was saying a lot since Shosh was pretty head over heels for him.

[rori_milburn]

Rori grimaced faintly at the mention of the drought, the evil thing that loomed over them all these days. The heat she could take, personally. She was used to working in it, even though she had to take extra care to keep hydrated and electrolyted and all that crap. But it was rough and a bit expensive this year, since so much of the fields were suffering, and the hay crop or lack of it was suffering, and and and. The list went on and on, and they both knew it well at this point. "Yeah, we're feeling that too. Luckily not as much as some, like you said," she said.

"Well, I'm glad of that," Rori told her frankly. It was good to hear she wasn't as terrified of relationships with Jase as she'd been for so long. She laughed outright at Shosh's sly referal. "Oh reallllly," she drawled. "Mmm, gotta keep trying to make it better?" she taunted in a friendly manner. Shosh would know she was kidding. She had a slightly pang, wishing she could share in this manner her sex life, which was substantially more than it had ever really been before. She rubbed absently at her neck, at the fading mark, not even realizing she was doing it.

"Yes, well," Rori shrugged. "I'm glad he floats your boat, then, sweets. Not my sort," in several ways, "but obviously he gets you going." She peeked slyly at Shosh, grinning. "Then honestly I'm thrilled for you. I'm so glad you've found someone you're happy with." It was so great to see her friend so happy. It thrilled her.

[shoshana_wise]

Shosh let out a short little laugh at Rori's grimace. It wasn't a happy noise really, every ranch in the area was dealing with the drought and there wasn't a single person you ran into that wasn't feeling it in some way, shape or form. She tried not to think about it too much, but of all the years for her Father to be gone, it had to be this year? Her first year as the official owner of North Tree and it was the worst year Texas had seen in awhile. "Exactly, but hopefully it'll break soon and we'll get some kind of relief." she replied, her tone a bit wistful.

"Really." Shosh replied with a smirk. "Of course, going to keep trying until it works." She teased, although by this point Shosh was pretty damn sure she wasn't going to ever get the desire for Jase out of her system, and frankly she didn't want to. Glancing at Rori as she spoke, she caught her friend rubbing at her neck and her eyes went wide. "What the hell? Here we are yammering on about my dating life when you're the one with the fucking hickey." Shosh blurted the words out before she could stop herself. "Now it's your turn to dish."

"What, he's not cowboy enough for you?" Shosh teased. "And God, he really does. You repeat this to anyone and I'll kill you. Fuck, he has this ability to make me feel like a thirteen year old girl with a crush." She wasn't kidding with the death threat, god knows that she couldn't have it getting out that a guy had managed to tame her. "More than happy, only thing I wish is Dad was here to meet him, y'know." Although Shosh was fairly certain that despite his 'city boy' ways her Father would have liked Jase a lot.

[rori_milburn]

"God, I hope so," Rori said fervently. Both Ainsley and herself would have to find a way to sell off a few horses prematurely if the drought continued indeterminately. This year of all years, really... it was depressing but Rori was making an effort not to let it get to her. After everything that had happened this year, she didn't need anything dragging her down.

Oh, shit, she thought, hand clapping protectively over the mark as she cursed herself up and down inside her head and turned a bright shade of red--at least, bright for her. Rori wasn't a person who turned colors easily in this fashion. Shit, shit, shit, she was going to have to tell Shosh something, and God, the truth was on the tip of her tongue. She shouldn't, it was Ava's secret too, but oh how she wanted to tell. "Um," was all she could get past her lips. "Well..."

She laughed. "As if anyone would believe me if I wanted to tell them," she said with a half roll of her eyes. "Shoshana Wise, smitten." She smiled fondly. "Yeah, that is the bummer. He would have liked to see you with someone who makes you happy like that." And Rori knew he would have.

[shoshana_wise]

"Fuck, if it doesn't soon I'm going to have to start cutting back on horses." Shosh hated the idea, but if this continued much longer she would need to think about selling off horses. Graham had already sold off a portion of their cattle to help with the situation. This was one hell of a year, and Shosh just kept thinking it had started out bad and only got worse; although she had bright spots - like Jase, he was definitely a bright spot in this year.

Rolling her eyes, Shosh made an amused noise as Rori clamped her hand over the mark. "If you think covering it is going to make me forget I saw it, think again." She quipped, hands on her hips as she studied her friend. Was Rori blushing? God, Shosh couldn't think of the last time she had seen Rori turn red. Quirking an eyebrow, she couldn't believe that that was all Rori had to said. "Really, Rori?" There was a story behind that hickey and Shosh was going to get it. "You've got a fucking hickey on your neck and the only thing you can say is 'Um. Well.'?" She wasn't going to be annoyed that while she was out and out flailing over Jase to her best friend, apparently Rori had some secret love life that she was entirely unwilling to clue Shosh in on.

She smirked. "True, after all who would date a she-devil like me." she remarked with a laugh. "Or believe that I even had the ability to be smitten." Going serious again, Shosh had to believe that it was more than just a 'bummer' that her Father wasn't here to see her finally admitting that she wasn't her mother - okay, so Shosh still had fears that she was going to turn tail and run, and end up hurting Jase in the process. But Jase seemed so fucking sure that she wasn't going to do that that Shosh had maybe begun to believe it herself. "Yeah, he would have." She had to think that wherever he was though, he was looking down at her and smiling in approval.

[rori_milburn]

"We've already cut back a little," Rori admitted, wrinkling her nose again. "Not much, but enough to keep the losses from stacking up too fast." Shosh would understand that. Culling the herd always happened when money started getting tighter. That was just how things went. It was lucky that so far they hadn't had to do more.

Rori bit her lip, knowing that on one level, Shosh had every right to be fucking pissed at her for keeping secrets. She never had done so with people except for this one part of herself, this one thing, that she really didn't expect anyone to accept or understand. It was different with Cody, because he was her brother and he almost had to love her. But with friends, with the community she was in, Rori knew she couldn't expect acceptance. In fact, from what she'd seen over the years, most people would react quite negatively. Telling would change everything.

"I'm kinda seeing someone," she said softly, not quite looking at Shosh. The words didn't want to pass her lips, I'm gay. But she did owe Shosh an explanation. "She's real good to me." She flicked her gaze up to her friend briefly, trying to see if she caught the implications of that simple statement... and what she thought about it.

"Well, I've always believed it," Rori said staunchly. She'd tried for years to get Shosh at least out and about again. "And I'm still up for babysitting, just so's you know." If Shosh still wanted her around her daughter. She knew it was more than a bummer that Shosh's father wasn't around, but it was sometimes hard to express such sentiments to people.

[shoshana_wise]

"Graham's been working like crazy, we've started selling off the cattle. But if things don't start looking up the horses will be next." It wasn't something any of them liked to think about, but each one of them had had to face selling off stock at some point or another. Shosh hated the idea, and honestly some days - hell - most days she missed when the business end of the ranch wasn't her responsibility.

If there was one person Shosh could claim to know fairly well it was Rori, and right now her friend was worrying her. The fact that she seemed to be weighing what to say next concerned her; and she had to fight the urge to just bark at her to come out with it already, after all it wasn't like Shosh was in a place to judge - and Fuck, it's not like whatever Rori said could be that bad.

She froze when Rori finally spoke, shocked that her friend was seeing someone and she was just hearing about it now. Shosh opened her mouth to bitch at her out for not saying anything sooner; but fell silent at the words 'she's real good to me' Was she hearing things? Did Rori just say she? She was sure she must look comical wide eyed and blinking as she processed what Rori had just said. "She?....." Fuck, all these years of friendship and she'd never known? There was a long pause as Shosh fully processed this. It wasn't like she cared that Rori apparently preferred women, God, She wasn't fucking close-minded. What bothered her was that she had never known, all these years of friendship and she'd been in the dark. "You know I don't fucking care what your sexual preference is. You're still Rori and you're still one of my best friends. But, why didn't you ever tell me this? Fuck, I've subjected you to years of yammering on about this guy or that guy." She was trying her best to keep the hurt out of her voice as she spoke. Rori hadn't kept this from her to hurt her, Shosh was positive her friend had her reasons for not saying anything sooner.

When it came down to it Rori's sexual orientation didn't really matter to Shosh, not really. Yes it was something Shosh was going to have to adjust to, but it wasn't friendship ending; far from it actually. "So now the real question is, when do I get to do the 'Hurt her and I'll hurt you' talk with this girlfriend of yours?" After all it was her right as Rori's best friend, and since Rori had done it to Jase it was only fair that the tables were turned so to speak.

"Yes, well you've always believed a lot of things about me that not everyone has." It wasn't that Shosh was hard to read, but most people chose not to deal with the attitude to try and get to know the girl behind the attitude. "And you damn well better be." Shosh continued, leveling a serious look at Rori. "There are a handful of people I trust with my kid and you're at the top of that list." She paused for a moment. "Although with your brand new love life, you might not have time to play baby-sitter for me."

[rori_milburn]

Rori cringed in on herself, head ducking and letting all the hair that had fallen from her bun into her face. It wasn't that she'd wanted to hide this part of herself, but it was fucking terrifying in the world they lived in sometimes. "Because no one fucking knows, Shosh. Cody was it since I figured it out growing up. And I'd gladly listen to you yammer on guys for years more, honestly. I just... god, even if I knew you don't care, I still didn't really know!" She looked pleadingly over at Shosh, trying to keep from tearing up. She didn't cry often, but this was one subject that always made her feel bad. "God, you know what people will say if they find out! You've worked with them and ridden with them for years! Tell me you don't know exactly what they'll say!"

Always knew that Rori was a dike. Don't let your kids ride with her, she'll touch them. Everything she'd ever done would be over scrutinized, and she sure as hell wouldn't have a reputation she could cash in anymore. "But I'm sorry. For not telling you," she whispered, ducking her head.

She shook her head, sending the remainder of her bun bouncing. "No. No, you'd probably terrify her." She hesitated, biting her lower lip. She was going to have some apologizing to do to Ava later. Very softly she said, "You remember Ava, right? She's like me, no one really knows." She wondered if Shosh knew how utterly terrifying it was.

She snorted softly and flapped her hand. "Even with that, I'll always have time for you and Sloane." Sloane might be the only kid she'd ever have, in a manner of speaking. She loved Shosh's little girl.

[shoshana_wise]

Shosh sighed and gave Rori a serious look, there was no way she could convince her friend that nobody would judge her; because she did know the people they grew up around and they were fond of judging people. But she could guarantee that she wouldn't judge her. "I'm not going to sit here and bitch at you for not telling me, God, Rori. I know you had your reasons, just, I want you to know that I'll always fucking support you. So now you know that no matter what you've got me in your corner, you've always got me, okay." She sighed softly. "People always talk, that'll never change. Fuck what they think, does it really matter?" Maybe that was the difference between her and Rori. Shosh didn't give a damn what everyone else thought about her, but then again she had never had a secret like this before, so maybe she didn't know exactly what Rori was dealing with.

She didn't need an apology or want an apology, Rori had her reasons for not telling her; and Shosh couldn't and wouldn't hold it against her. "Hey, no. God, I don't need you to apologize. You've told me now and that's all that fucking matters to me." she replied quietly, wishing Rori was looking at her and not at the ground.

Trying to fight a smile, Shosh held her hands up in surrender. "Okay, I will not do the best friend speech, promise." Of course she wanted to, but if she didn't want to run off Rori's girlfriend if it would terrify her. "Yeah, I remember her." She paused, realizing that Rori didn't exactly say that Ava was who she was dating. "And I'm just going to assume by mentioning Ava. That's you clearly saying that's who you're with?" Shosh didn't normally need things spelled out for her, but in this situation she kind of did.

Smiling brightly, Shosh couldn't help but be glad to know that Rori would still have time for her and Sloane. "Good, because you're not getting me out of your life that easy." She teased lightly. "And you know that's a two way street right? I'll always have time for you." Even with everything going on with Jase and that huge shift in her own life, Shosh would always make time for one of her best friends.

[rori_milburn]

"It matters because I'm trying to cash in on my reputation. How many people will let their kids train with me once this gets out?" Rori said, wrapping her arms around herself tightly. She still remembered the last cowboy who'd been outed, and how his career had been ruined. Even though she as pretty sure he'd never touched a kid wrong or done anything bad, he'd packed himself out of Texas and the horse world, as far as she knew, pretty quickly.

Rori sighed and finally looked up at Shosh. "I am sorry, though. I just... it never seemed to matter 'cause I wasn't going to have anything happen. Then I finally move here and I meet someone and yeah, it's sometimes complicated but it's also so great..." Because fuck, she was crazy head-over-heels about Ava.

Rori was just scared what Ava might think if Shosh approached her. THough they were both better about things, they were also both still jumpy, and Ava was a hell of a lot shyer than she had ever been. Rori pushed her escaping hair back out of her face and bit her lower lip, nodding. Oh, she was so going to have to apologize to Ava later. "Yeah, she's my girl," Rori agreed softly, feeling guilty for outing her, but really wanting to be able to talk to Shosh about her life as well.

"I know you will," Rori said. It might not be as much time, but they'd figure it out. And maybe someday they'd stop being workaholics and have more time to hang out together.

[shoshana_wise]

"Fuck, I know. Why the hell does the world have to so fucking close-minded?" Shosh wasn't trying to rage about this, but she felt like being upset about the fact that he best friend had to hide this was the only thing she could do. She moved towards Rori, and without asking if it was okay she tugged her friend into a hug. "I'd still let my kid train with you, I mean besides me you're the best damn rider I know." Her voice was quieter now, and Shosh didn't know what to say to make this better; because she knew the people they dealt with and knew what they had done before to others who had come out, and God, she wouldn't wish that on her best friend ever.

Shosh smiled slightly. "Hey, you're telling me now, right? So why dwell on the fucking past, it doesn't change it, God knows I know that." If it did her Dad would still be alive. "Great? So you're happy, yeah?" Pushing for details wasn't in the cards, but if Rori wanted to give them Shosh would more than gladly listen - but she was going to let it be on Rori's terms and not hers.

Approaching Rori's girlfriend was out of the question, letting Rori talk to Jase had been one thing - because Shosh knew her boyfriend wouldn't be scared off. But if Rori said her girl would be scared by Shosh talking to her about hurting Rori, well, Shosh wouldn't do it. She wasn't going to fuck up Rori's happiness just to make sure this girl didn't fuck with her friend's heart. "Ava? Fuck, really?" Shosh had only met the girl a handful of times at most, but she liked her. "So? Are you going to gush like a fourteen year old girl? It would make me feel less silly about my previous Jase rant." So she maybe didn't mind flailing about her now boyfriend, but Shosh still kind of felt silly for having acted like a teenager over a guy and three kisses.

"Always. I've been a thorn in your side since we were little, and that's not changing now that we're both in relationships." Shosh replied, smiling brightly, "Fuck, we're both in relationships....is that a sign of like the end of the fucking world or something?"

[rori_milburn]

Rori leaned into the hug, wrapping her arms around Shosh and hugging her tightly back. She found she needed the reassurance, even if this wasn't exactly how she and Shosh usually were with each other most of the time, though there had been moments in their pasts. "Thanks. One student, at least," Rori said, sniffing back the sensation of tears in her throat. She would not be a little idiot and actually cry over this shit right now.

"Yeah, happy," she said softly. "I'm like, crazy about her, so yeah." And while she'd had her crushes over the years, it had never been like this, or anythign that grew as intense as this felt to have.

Rori nibbled on the outside of her thumb, a long time habit she'd had since she was a kid, and nodded confirmation to Shosh. She chuckled quietly, ducking her head. "Cody calls her my poofy haired crush, or at least he used to," she said with a faint grin. "She's just, she's really great. She's smart and makes me laugh and..." she trailed off, trying to find words. She did feel like a silly teenager with her first love because in a lot of ways she was--she'd never had a girlfriend or a real lover like most people, for all she was in her twenties. "And I can kiss her anytime I want when we're not in public," she added half-shyly, half-slyly, though that was about as far as she was comfortable, yet, going about anything.

She laughed, startling a horse in a stall briefly. "Sign of the apocalypse," she agreed. "The world is doomed."

[shoshana_wise]

These moments were rare in which they would act a bit more like girls and do the whole 'hugging and/or crying thing' But that didn't mean they didn't happen, and Shosh was just damn glad she could be there for Rori, reassure her that no matter who Rori chose to love, she'd always be able to find support in her. "You're welcome, Fuck, you know you've always got me and I still hold to the fact Sloane'll listen to you better than she'll ever listen to me when it comes to riding." She could hear the tone in Rori's voice, and wouldn't hold it against her friend if she were to cry right now.

"Fuck, good. You deserve to be happy." She replied honestly. "Crazy, thought you went crazy years ago." She was only teasing, and soon enough she was going serious again. "Really though, I'm glad you've found someone who makes you happy and that I finally get to know about her."

Shosh laughed and fought the urge to tell Rori to stop chewing on her damn thumb, after all these years she was used to it. "Oh one of Cody's lovely nicknames, least hers is better than mine." She laughed, rolling her eyes slightly at Cody's nickname for Rori's girl. "She better be damn good to you, as well." The words were out before she could stop them, but Shosh meant it. Everything else was all fine and great, but if Ava wasn't good to Rori then Shosh would have words for her. "You know I'm not going to ask for details, but I sure as fucking hope you've done more than just kiss." And god it was horrible that Rori could only kiss her girlfriend behind closed doors, but Shosh wasn't going to weigh in on that because it was just piss her off more - for her friend's sake - that Rori had to hide who she was to keep her career.

Joining in Rori's laughter, Shosh grinned. "So fucking doomed, and hell, who would have picked us falling for the people we did, right?" It wasn't a secret that Jase was a far cry from the type of guy anyone would have picked for her, but she was happy, god, more than happy with him, she could see a future with him, one where maybe she didn't turn into her mother and leave.

[rori_milburn]

Rori laughed so she wouldn't cry. It was so fucking good to know that someone besides Cody could know and not hate her or want to walk out on her. Not that she thought Shosh would, but it had still be an irrational fear present all of these years. "I know." She squeezed Shosh. "That's 'cause you're her mama, of course she's not going to listen to you that much." She sniffed again, brushing her thumbs under her eyes self consciously as she released Shosh, glad to find only a little moisture.

She snorted softly. "Crazier, then," she retorted. She grinned back though, so utterly relieved that Shosh was happy for her. "She's the only girlfriend I've had," she said almost abruptly, wanting to let Shosh know that she hadn't been hiding much else. "Only a couple of crushes, one that really kinda blew up on me." She frowned at the memory.

It was a nervous habit, one she'd had since she stopped sucking her thumb when she was little. "She is, honest, Shosh. I mean, we've got issues with the whole," she flapped her hand in the air, "ahhhhh, um. Being girls thing," she said, still having trouble saying 'gay.' "But she is good to me." She flushed at the mention of more than kissing. "Yeah, a bit," she replied, remembering Ava's hand the other day, and her mouth on her breasts, and how Ava writhed against her sometimes.

"Y'mean educated city folks?" Rori said with a grin. Maybe, one day in the future when Ava might be comfortable with the idea, and if Shosh's boyfriend was open minded... maybe they could have dinner together. That might soothe the awkwardness she felt around Jase, the feeling of having nothing in common with him. She liked him, she supposed, she just... had very little in common with him.