RP: Brother, Where Art Thou?

[stephenross]

Date: August 22, 2011
Characters: Stephen Ross, Tyler Ross, Alex Jameson
Location:  Angel Abbey
Status: Private
Summary:  Stephen finds the courage to reunite with his brother.
Completion: Incomplete

Comments

[stephenross]

He ran a hand through his hair trying to collect himself. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so shaky. Alex's intensity wasn't helping though some part of him almost wanted to thank the man for being so protective. It was good. Someone cared about Tyler. He wasn't alone.

"I know. I- I was ashamed, ok?" He swallowed hard. "Of myself. My Dad. I wish I'd...well a lot of things. I can't change any of it, but I wish I'd stuck up for him. I wish I'd returned any of those letters, I don't...I'm not in a good place in my head right now. Haven't been for a long time."

He was surprised at himself, listening to what he was saying and found it to be true. He'd been moving through molasses for so long now, everything had been so subtly wrong in his head.

"I just wanted to apologize. For everything. I understand if he doesn't want to see me or talk to me. I just...I'm sorry."

And to his complete shame, he felt his eyes prickle with tears. He hadn't cried in years, had been told not to, taught not to, but it was like everything he'd shoved away was welling up all at once.

[angelalexjay]

Seeing someone react in such a Ty sort of way definitely softened him. Especially since the kid barely was holding it together. He reached over and touched his arm. "Hey." He waited until Stephen could meet his eyes, and he gave him a small smile, a quirk of the lips. "How about you tell him that? He's in my office, come on." He moved out from behind the bar and waited for Stephen to join him, grabbing a bottle of water for Ty as he went.

[stephenross]

Stephen just nodded, unable to trust his voice and got up to follow after Alex.

"Thanks." He managed, wiping surreptitiously at his eyes and grateful when no further tears tried to make a break for it.

[angelalexjay]

Alex nodded, leading the way back to his office an knocking before opening the door. "Brought you some water and someone else." He said, moving to Ty's side. He gestured for Stephen to take the desk chair while he joined Ty on the couch, his hand on Ty's knee.

"Alright, I think the best way for us to proceed is for you to tell Ty what you just told me, Stephen." He said calmly, hand rubbing Ty's leg to soothe him.

[stephenross]

Faced with his brother again, Stephen took in a large gulp of air and nodded. He sank into the desk chair.

"I'm sorry, Tyler." He started because apologies were what he came here for and if Tyler didn't want to hear him all the way out, he would lead with them to make sure they got out there. "For everything, really, but mostly that I didn't write back to you. I never stopped thinking about you and I kept every letter you sent me. I didn't come earlier because I was ashamed of myself. Ashamed that I beleived Dad even for a minute."

He licked his lips and suddenly wanted to say it more than anything so he did, "I've missed you...like a hole in heart, ok? I saw you and I thought...you wouldn't be proud of me, that I'm a waste of space like Dad turned into. That's why I didn't come earlier. It wasn't you. Never think it was you."

[tyler_ross]

Ty took the water from Alex, opening it and gulping down half the bottle while looking between Alex and Stephen. When Alex sat next to him, he moved his hand over Alex's and squeezed. Now that he'd gotten over the initial shock, he was going to try to hear Stephen out. He hadn't really listened to anything at the bar after finding out Stephen had known where to find him.

As he listened to Stephen, he tightened his grip on Alex's hand. It was more than a little overwhelming. The Stephen in his head wasn't getting reconciled so easily with this grown up version. It was like a weird dream, not at all like how he'd imagined a reunion going. Only this was real. Stephen missed him. And he didn't believe their dad. Not anymore.

"You were a kid," Ty said quietly. "Back then. Shouldn't be ashamed for believing his bullshit when you were twelve." He sighed and looked at Stephen. "I'm kinda pissed off that you never tried after you left his house. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I kinda am." He was trying to be honest, even if all the thoughts in his head were confusing him.

"Missed you, too." He looked at Alex then back at Stephen. "'ve always been proud of you, Stephen. Gotta scrapbook with all these articles about your football and shit. Kinda stalkerish, I know, but it's all I had."

[stephenross]

He stared down at his hands, biting his lip and nodding.

"It took me a while to really...to get it." He said quietly. "College helped. I met a lot of different people and they were cool. Fun. Nothing like the picture I had in my head of what gay meant. Besides that...all I can say is that I'm not good at any of this. Emotional stuff. I think I just kind of stopped growing up there for a while. But with Mom moving out and me moving in with her...it's shaken everything up. I think it freed both of us some."

"You collected my articles?" He felt a flush. "Oh..I. That's not stalkerish."

[tyler_ross]

"College has a way of helping us figure out who we are." Ty smiled wryly as he remembered his own discoveries during the one year he went to college. His entire life changed due to that, and he didn't have any regrets about it. "You're just out of college, though, and I dunno if growing up goes hand in hand with that whole experience."

"Wait. Mom moved out?" He sat up straighter and looked at Alex. He couldn't really tell him how much it meant that he was there, just holding his hand and supporting him. Looking back at Stephen, he licked his lips. "What did he do to her? Did he hurt her?" He frowned. "You live with her? You moved back there?"

[stephenross]

"I don't feel grown up." Right now he felt like he was twelve all over again, trying to piece together why his family had cast someone out like they'd plucked a weed from a garden. "But I can make my own decisions now. I couldn't say that before."

"She left him. I don't think he did anything to her. She didn't even tell me at first, waited for Dad to call me up screaming about how she'd just walked out." He could remember the shock and then the strange surge of giddy relief. "I think she just had too much of it. All of it. I moved into her apartment to help her with the rent and really, I can't afford anything just me anyway. She's got a waitressing job. I'm bussing tables."