RP: She's growing up too fast!

[jake_abernathy]

Date: August 18, 2011
Characters: Jake Abernathy, Neve Standheim
Location: Jake’s place
Status: Private
Summary: Jake needs to flail at someone.
Completion: Incomplete

Comments

[neve_stadheim]

Neve shook her head and laughed as a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “I’m sorry; call it a trait of being a mother I guess, the ability to take the fun out of certain activities has been trained into me.” She was counting it as a win that she managed to get Jake to laugh at least. His moodiness was expected after what he had gone through, but that wasn’t going to stop her from reminding him that he still had the ability to smile and laugh.

“That might be it.” Neve said, feeling that part of her opinion could be based in the past. She didn’t think it would be particularly wise to comment that when Jake was in a broody mood he was pretty intimidating to approach, and that if she didn’t know him so well she probably wouldn’t approach him while in that mood or frame of mind. “Either way, I appreciate the fact that I have guys like you, Ezra and Kyle around to handle the influx of teenage boys.”

She didn’t regret saying what was on her mind, even when Jake dropped his head into his hands for a long moment. God, her heart broke at his quiet admission, Neve knew this was all hard - how could it not be? But dealing with it on a daily basis had to be exhausting. “Jake…. ” She sighed softly as she reached out to pull his hands away from his face so she could look him in the eye. “Anything I say isn’t going to make it better or easier.” She wished she could say something though that would make the whole situation better, but it would just be words and Neve didn’t want to be one of those people who insisted that everything should be looked at as some kind of hidden blessing. She titled her head and studied Jake hard as he trailed off, a part of her was pleased to know he wasn’t necessarily giving up, and her curiosity wanted to know what he might have been about to say. “It’s just what?” Neve wasn’t prying, okay she was. But Jake should know her well enough to know that a comment like that wouldn’t go ignored, not by her anyway.

[jake_abernathy]

"Ah, the eternal gifts of parenting," Jake said dryly. He sometimes felt like he would always be listening for the cry in the nursery, always have a third eye settled on where his daughter was.

"Always glad to be of assistance," he told her. He knew in one part of himself that his newer moodiness made him less approachable, though those that knew him well still came to him no matter his mood. Star always did, and Neve didn't seem to have a problem pushing through the curtain of his personality.

Jake opened his eyes and looked up at the touch of her hands on his. He turned his hands and for a moment pressed her palms to his cheeks. The touch was calming to him, though he kept it brief and released them after a moment. "I know it's not," he said softly. "Not asking you to make it better. Nothing can do that. Just... saying it, is all." Because to be perfectly frank, he didn't talk about it much with most people. And sometimes he just needed to say it and have someone really listen. Neve always listened.

He shrugged as if to say 'nothing.' "It's just that I'm more trouble than most people want to deal with," he said, purposefully being a little lighter about it. He didn't need to drag her into his problems more than he already had. "I'm lucky enough to have kept a few friends through it all." Her, and Sam, though Sam was very busy these days, and Rico, and a couple of others. Those few that still put up with him were worth their weight in gold.

[neve_stadheim]

"Being a parent forever changes you." Neve remarked. She figured there were a lot of things that could happen in life to change a person, but being a parent had to top the list.

"Honest to God, I'm not sure what I'd do if you weren't around Jake." She went serious, because really she wasn't sure what she would do without Jake some days. He might have his moody moments, but Neve always knew he'd be there for her when she needed him; and lately with everything with Zach's parents he had gone above and beyond in supporting her.

Neve caught his gaze and her heart broke at the emotion that she wasn't even sure Jake realized he was portraying with just that one look. If she was taken off guard when Jake pressed her hands to his cheeks she didn't show it, and just a quickly as it had happened it was over and Neve found herself missing the contact. "I wish I could." And she did, but dwelling on something she couldn't change never helped anyone. "You know you can always talk to me, right?" Neve was sure Jake knew this, but she wanted to reiterate that she would always be around and willing to listen.

She pulled a face at him when he shrugged, listening as he explained. "Jake." Her tone was stern and she paused before continuing. "It's not troublesome if they care about you." Neve paused again, thinking over her words before saying them. "You're not more trouble than I want to deal with." And what did she mean by that? Did she have feelings for Jake she wasn't aware of? Shaking her head to try and clear it, Neve laughed. "Some of us are just really hard to run off."

[jake_abernathy]

"You'd manage," Jake said softly, but the sentiment touched him. It was nice to know that someone besides his daughter would miss him if he died. Nice to think he'd touched at least one other life enough that they might mourn him.

He nodded silently. Yes, he knew he could come to her. She might not always understand but she probably would more than some, and his moods didn't seem to frighten her or put her off too much. "I know, Neve. Why do you think I'm talking to you about it now?" he said quietly. He was probably even talking more than he should, but she was a good listening ear, and he trusted her.

He smiled, faintly and almost ruefully. No, not more than she wanted to deal with, but she wasn't subjected to him like someone would have to be in a serious relationship. Neve, whenever she finally reentered the dating world, would want someone whole and functional, in bed and out of it. He couldn't guarantee any woman either of those things.

"Well, that is true I suppose..." he mused aloud. "You haven't headed for the hills yet." Even if it want that kind of relationship they had. Someday, though, Jake knew some man would be very lucky to find Neve.

[neve_stadheim]

Neve pulled a face, of course she would survive but that wasn't entirely the point. "Of course I would, but I would prefer not testing out that theory." She didn't necessarily like the idea of Jake not being around.

"Because I badgered you to talk about it." She knew she was good at making people talk, and Neve was almost certain that's exactly why Jake was saying anything to her about this right now. She tried not to be pushy, but as Ezra had put it once 'You could make a rock talk back to you if you wanted it to.' And really someone needed to be a listening ear for Jake, because clearly he shouldn't have to carry all these thoughts around and let them eat away at him.

She wondered how or why the conversation had steered in this direction in the first place. Neve had her opinions, and really she did believe that if someone cared about Jake enough they wouldn't blink and eye at having to deal with the challenges; voicing that thought though Neve had a feeling, wouldn't go over well. Jake had his opinions and Neve had hers, and short of having some way to prove it to Jake she really didn't have a foot to stand on. The idea though of Jake finding someone kind of created this sharp pain in her chest, because if he found someone would that render their friendship unneeded in his life?

"It is, you can grump and glare all you want. I'm hard to run off." She replied with a faint smile. "Anyway it's not likely I'll go running for the hills. After all you're my support system when I have my rare spazzy and/or crazy moments."

[jake_abernathy]

True, she had badgered him, but it was also very true that Jake needed badgering. He was too prone by long habit to keep things to himself, and the tendency had only enforced itself after his accident. It was harder to talk about intensely personal things since then, as so much had changed and things felt so much deeper and harder now. It wasn't even true self pity, just a struggle to find his new place and role in the world. It was healthy for him to finally discuss some of it with someone--Rico was a man, that would be too... emotional, and for one reason or another most of the other people in his life had an excuse as well. Neve pushing him was what he needed. "That you did," he said, and there was no disapproval in his tone.

He appreciated all of her support more than he could express. Even if he might not necessarily believe her words off the bat, they were something he could play in his head when his own thoughts became too loud and frustrating.

"True enough. Can't run away from one of your anchors," he half joked. He might weigh her down sometimes, but he might also steady her a bit too. He liked being needed, being helpful, and being a part of someone else's world.