Room Number (Handwavey), Arms Hotel, Saturday Morning

[the_merriest]

(The part of Rikku will be played by Kristanna Loken, for entirely shallow reasons.)

What a lovely morning it was, even if she did feel a touch sick to her stomach. Really. She wouldn't lie about that! She'd never lie about the horribly, terribly important condition she was in, and the repercussions it might have for her and her soulmate, Reno

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[withoutverona]

Romeo hesitated before the door before tapping at it with his cane. He'd found it by counting steps -- or so he thought -- but this was the fourth room he'd tried.

He owed flowers to the people he had burst in on.

"Hello?" he called impatiently. He had Things to say. Big, Important Things, that could hardly wait for the door to open.

[the_merriest]

"Romeo!" Rikku called, racing over to the door happily. It was Romeo! Her dear, true friend! Though once, they had been more ... but that had been a mistake! Surely they both realized it. Reno was her soulmate, Romeo was just a dear friend. There was nothing between them. She was sure of it. Mostly.

Nonetheless, she embraced him in the doorway, perhaps for a moment too long. Or a few moments too long. "You look good," she said happily.

[withoutverona]

"Do I?" Romeo asked in a choked voice that overflowed with emotion for the lovely -- or so he assumed -- young woman in his arms. "It's not as if mirrors do me much good these days."

Somewhere, a piano struck a sad chord.

He smiled wanly. "You sound good," he said, barely managing not to add snookiewookums. That was what he had called her ... before.

[raspberryturk]

"She does?" Reno stared incredulously at Romeo. And at Rikku. And then facepalmed at the piano. Where the fuck did the piano come from?!

"I was gonna say it was good to see you, man, but considering the circumstances..."

Like how apparently the both of them were completely batshit insane.

[the_merriest]

"The ... circumstances?" Rikku pulled away from Romeo as if he were on fire, and the piano was replaced by a twang of an unseen guitar. The sort of twang that hinted at intrigue. "What circumstances? Whyever should there be circumstances? Romeo's our dear friend, isn't he, darling?"

Just a friend! That was all! He didn't .... know, did he? He couldn't!! It was nothing! Only a mistake!

[withoutverona]

"Be strong, Rikku," Romeo commanded in a soft voice. "He's never been able to stand being close to me, not since I got this!"

He shook his cane in the air. The piano seemed to find this very dramatic.

Gravely, he added, "I'm still the same man I always was, Reno."

[raspberryturk]

"I beg to differ," Reno sighed.

The background music was kind of a big hint, there.

"S'cuse me a moment. I gotta make a call."

No, he didn't... But his phone was in his jacket pocket, which was across the room, and he needed to be getting this on film. Right now.

[the_merriest]

"I ... was concerned that he knew," Rikku said, in an ominous stage whisper. One Reno could probably hear, since he wasn't participating in the soap logic today. "About ... what we promised we would never speak about."

[withoutverona]

"... there's no way he could know," Romeo whispered back, just as fiercely and loudly. "We paid off the midgets so they'd move to Brazil, and the only other person who might know has been struck mysteriously mute! And we burned the fur rug."

He might have been thinking of a different thing that would never speak about.

[raspberryturk]

Reno? Across the room? Was totally catching this on his videophone, yes. Why?

This was so going to get forwarded to Doji. She'd piss herself laughing.

"Oh, yes," he said, just loudly enough to be heard by the two conspirators across the room, "I can totally have that job done for you by two in the morning tonight, yo. I'll even throw in the moogle for free."

Look, he had no idea. But it seemed to fit in, or something.

[the_merriest]

"You're right," Rikku said, nodding confidently. "You're right. There's no way anyone could know, unless the mime awakens from his coma."

She cleared her throat and raised her voice, so that Reno could hear her. "We were ... celebrating a touch of good news," she said brightly. "We're ... Reno and I are ... that is, we're going to be a family."

[withoutverona]

Romeo gave her a significant glance -- or would have, if he wasn't blind. He had to settle with tilting his head toward her as the string section swelled up.

"If that's what you want I'm so happy for you both," he managed. "So ... very happy."

In a stage whisper, he added, "Is it really his?"

[raspberryturk]

Reno just barely managed to refrain from shouting 'HEY,' across the room at that, screwing up his face a little to scowl at the both of them. Maybe he could tie them up and keep them in the closet all weekend...

...

Separate closets.

"Good," he nattered into the phone, not even paying attention to what he was talking about, anymore. "You have the payment ready, an' don't forget the undershirts, an' we got us a deal."

[the_merriest]

"Of ... of course it is," Rikku whispered, her face falling. "Because I'm his, and I always have been. Anything else was ... was just an accident. You know that, don't you? So ... so any baby I have is going to be his. It just is."

The baby was Reno's, because Rikku had decided it was Reno's, and that was that. She refused to consider any other possibility, even if the few weeks surrounding conception had been ... filled with ... weakness. On her part.

It helped that the pregnancy was fake, anyway.

[withoutverona]

".... I see," Romeo whispered, face falling. "Except I can't even do that anymore. Will you at least let me see our child, even if he can never know who his real father is?"

Romeo had decided the imaginary child would be a boy. Of course. A son to help him reclaim the strip club empire!

[raspberryturk]

Reno's head was starting to hurt, here. And he was running out of mindless natter to babble into the phone while he filmed these two.

"An' then the crocodile says to the bartender, 'If #2 pencils are the most popular, why are they still number two?'"

This was getting ridiculous. He sighed, giving his head a shake and then shutting his phone to stow away into his pocket.

"SO!" And there he was, strolling up to Rikku and Romeo, hands in his pockets, now. "You two all caught up with the latest, most interestin' gossip?"