Room Number (Handwavey), Arms Hotel, Saturday Morning

[the_merriest]

(The part of Rikku will be played by Kristanna Loken, for entirely shallow reasons.)

What a lovely morning it was, even if she did feel a touch sick to her stomach. Really. She wouldn't lie about that! She'd never lie about the horribly, terribly important condition she was in, and the repercussions it might have for her and her soulmate, Reno

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[raspberryturk]

"Talk...?" Reno raised an eyebrow at ... Rikku? That was Rikku. Okay. Reno raised an eyebrow at her from where he was sitting at the windowsill, blowing smoke out the window (lazily and not at all dramatically, thank you), and wearing just his pants.

Because he'd just woken up, and hadn't gotten over his typical case of morning laziness enough to put a shirt on yet. Shut up.

"Uh. About what?"

[the_merriest]

He was so beautiful, by the morning's light. She would never let anything come between them again. Not the wretched Countess, or her horrifying machinations. She was doing this for them; surely he would understand that!

"I think you had better sit down," she said, giving him her very best doe eyes. "I ... I have news. I don't know if it's good or bad, yet. That ... depends on you."

[raspberryturk]

Reno... looked at the chair that he was already sitting in. Right, then. Sitting down. Look, he was already a step ahead?

"Depends on me how, babe?"

Rikku was kinda freaking him out, here.

[the_merriest]

She took his hands. His hands! They were sculpted by an artist, and she placed her lips against his fingertips.

"You know I love you, right?" she said. "And that I would never do anything to hurt you. Or to hurt us."

Plenty of good conversations started like that. Really.

[raspberryturk]

"Uh, yeah. I'm pretty certain that we been through all that before?"

Reno was contemplating the door. In the event that she remained between him and the door, there was always the window...

[the_merriest]

"We haven't been through this," Rikku insisted. "Reno, my darling, I ... I don't know how to say this. We ... we're going to be a family."

She placed his hand on her stomach, giving him her most meaningful of looks. As best she could manage, for a daytime soap opera actress, anyway.

"The ... three of us."

[raspberryturk]

Reno's mouth almost went dry, at that. Almost. Except that he was fairly certain that there was something screwing with Rikku, here, considering she didn't seem entirely herself today (though he couldn't quite put a finger on what the difference was. Maybe it was just that she was wearing her hair down?), and he stared.

"Three?"

Lots of staring. Mostly because he was inspecting her for bite-marks, now.

[the_merriest]

"I know," she said quickly, misunderstanding the reason behind his staring. He was trying to accept this, their fate, the confusion and uncertainty of it! But it was right. It had to be. It was them. "I know, it's too soon, we're too young, it was only an accident, I swear I didn't plan this. But we'll ... I ... I think we'll be ... happy?"

He wouldn't leave her! Not if she were pregnant! Not even for that skanky whore the Countess, who spread all those lies and interfered in everyone else's business!

[raspberryturk]

Contrary to what must have been popular belief, Reno wasn't going anywhere. Not even out the window, although he was fairly certain that he could handle the drop.

No visible signs of gremlin bites. Maybe she'd gotten it on her ass, then. Reno could work with that.

He steeled himself. Set his shoulders. Raised an eyebrow, and said in his most stolid deadpan ever, "I guess this means that we have to get married, now."

[the_merriest]

And like that, Rikku's mood reversed itself. She launched herself at him, squealing with delight.

"Oh, my darling, we'll be married at once!" she announced. "I know Father will disapprove, but he'll come around! I know he will. And then we'll be together for always, and no one can come between us. Ever."

Because that was healthy, and not freakishly messed up. Honest!

[raspberryturk]

And now, Reno was having difficulties taking in his required quotas of air for doing things like remaining conscious and upright. He was quite the fan of being conscious and upright. Yessir.

"Was there..." Hurk. "Ever..." Gasp. "Any doubt?"

Squirm.

[the_merriest]

"Of course not," she said firmly. "You're mine, and I'm yours. I'd never let anyone else have you. Not when you belong to me."

Wasn't Reno so happy? He got to marry his stalker!!!

[raspberryturk]

Reno was thrilled. Really.

Also, his fingers were starting to lose feeling. Maybe if he wormed his way downward a little, he could break free without being smothered to death.

"So. When should we have the wedding?" Please, please for the love of Holy, let it be sometime not soon.

[the_merriest]

"Before I start to show," Rikku said, letting go of him and twirling happily. Everything was wonderful and perfect! "Although I've heard first-time mothers don't ... necessarily show right away. So if I don't, that's not anything ... to worry about. Darling."

She batted her eyes at him, coyly. "If it were up to me, we'd be married tomorrow," she laughed. "I guess I'm not your typical bride."

Less time for the Countess to get her hooks in him. That scheming slut.

[raspberryturk]

DEEP BREATHS. OH, THANK IFRIT, THERE WAS OXYGEN HAPPENING HERE.

"You don't say?"

Reno never would have guessed.

"I'm gonna assume that this time, I'm gonna have to dress up in somethin' more fancy than the ugly pink shirt and the fish tie, huh?"

Hey, if the girl had gone batshit insane, then at least he could toy around with it, a little, in order to figure out where the hell this logic was supposed to lead.

[the_merriest]

"Only if you love me," Rikku pouted. "Why would you wear something hideous to the most happy day of our lives? It will be happy, won't it? You do love me, don't you?"

Didn't he? He'd better, considering the lengths she had gone to, here.